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Topic: Chenz Part IV (Read 316 times) |
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Ghost
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Re: Chenz Part IV
« Reply #2 on: Jan 26th, 2006, 12:59pm » |
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http://homecooking.about.com/library/weekly/aa101199a.htm
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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LeLimey
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OUCH-US - Less "ME" and more "WE"
 
 
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Re: Chenz Part IV
« Reply #3 on: Jan 26th, 2006, 1:55pm » |
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Goatie came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinko drunk,as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.
He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing White robe. "Who the hell are you?" Demanded Goatie, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?".
The mysterious Man answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter".
Goatie was stunned "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family.... you've got to send me back straight away". St Peter replied "Yes you can be reincarnated but; there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen."
Goatie was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.
This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.
The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen, how Are you enjoying your first day here?" "It's not so bad " replies Goatie" But I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode".
You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never laid an egg before". "Never" replies Goatie "Well just relax and let it happen"
And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.
When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming And he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him..... ever!!!
The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt....an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting "Goat, wake up you drunken bas*ard, you're sh*tting the bed"
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Linda_Howell
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Hearing is one thing. Listening is another.
 
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Re: Chenz Part IV
« Reply #4 on: Jan 26th, 2006, 2:08pm » |
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They can put a man on the moon so why can't they put a "goat" there. 
Linda
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Kindness, is gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us.
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pattik
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Re: Chenz Part IV
« Reply #5 on: Jan 26th, 2006, 2:32pm » |
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I'm up for darts....anyone else? 
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The voyage of discovery is not about seeking new landscapes, it's about having new eyes--Marcel Proust
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Ghost
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Re: Chenz Part IV
« Reply #6 on: Jan 26th, 2006, 3:17pm » |
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There thats better the world is right again.
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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Ghost
CH.com Alumnus
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Farting relieves the pressure
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Re: Chenz Part IV
« Reply #7 on: Jan 26th, 2006, 3:19pm » |
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on Jan 26th, 2006, 2:32pm, pattik wrote:I'm up for darts....anyone else?
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hey my horn's bigger than that, ... oh wait i forgot to remove the reading glasses again! 
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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Chillrmn1
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on Jan 26th, 2006, 1:55pm, LeLimey wrote:and heard his wife shouting "Goat, wake up you drunken bas*ard, you're sh*tting the bed"
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Round 1 goes to LeLimey.
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Ghost
CH.com Alumnus
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Farting relieves the pressure
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Re: Chenz Part IV
« Reply #9 on: Jan 26th, 2006, 5:45pm » |
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on Jan 26th, 2006, 5:19pm, Chillrmn1 wrote:
Always, Always!!!!
Aint she cute when riled?
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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Chillrmn1
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Yup, she sure is
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sandie99
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Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
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Re: Chenz Part IV
« Reply #11 on: Jan 27th, 2006, 9:33am » |
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Helen, that story was priceless!
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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pattik
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Re: Chenz Part IV
« Reply #12 on: Jan 27th, 2006, 9:49am » |
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on Jan 26th, 2006, 3:19pm, Ghost wrote:
hey my horn's bigger than that, ... oh wait i forgot to remove the reading glassesbinoculars again! |
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The voyage of discovery is not about seeking new landscapes, it's about having new eyes--Marcel Proust
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Langa
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So many donuts, such little time...
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Re: Chenz Part IV
« Reply #13 on: Jan 27th, 2006, 10:34am » |
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on Jan 26th, 2006, 2:08pm, Linda_Howell wrote:
They can put a man on the moon so why can't they put a "goat" there.
Linda |
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LMAO!
We can continue hoping, no???
Langa
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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