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Topic: PLEASE PRAY...UPDATE! (Read 946 times) |
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Langa
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PLEASE PRAY...UPDATE!
« on: Jan 9th, 2007, 4:25pm » |
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My younger sister who is in stage 4 of cancer, is going into surgery tomorrow to repair the upper part of her spine that was destroyed by the cancer. It's either that or paralysis.
Her Oncologist told me her lungs, liver and bones are riddled with cancer. I might be bringing her to live her last days here with me and her children. I'm also considering hospice for the last few weeks of her life so the children won't have to deal with seeing their mother in so much pain. I'm not sure yet. Lots of calls to make -thank God for Gordon who's helping me through all of this.
Heading out to the hospital tomorrow. I was told she can barely move or even bend or pick up anything or it's instant paralysis. That is so scary
She's pretty much sedated right now because of the severe pain in her neck.
I also have to deal with my mother with severe dementia, but she's at least being taken care off by 24 hour home attendants. What do I tell her when my sister dies? Or do I tell her at all?
I already feel so disoriented and tired.
Thanks for your prayers.
Love,
Langa
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Update:
My sister had surgery on her upper spine and had a cancerous tumor removed, then then they had to fix the fracture on her upper spine caused by the tumor. They removed 80% of it and want to give her radiation for 10 weeks. She has another tumor on the base of her spine and she went through a full body scan to see what immediate work needs to be done right now to at least give her temporary relief. Basically she is riddled with cancer and we are meeting with all her doctors on Thursday to discuss the next steps for her. I also have to meet with the family lawyer to legally adopt her kids. Thankfully her and the kids are in great spirits. Thank you all for your prayers.
Love,
Langa
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| « Last Edit: Jan 16th, 2007, 12:20am by Langa » |
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aubmari
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Re: PLEASE PRAY...
« Reply #1 on: Jan 9th, 2007, 4:29pm » |
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My thoughts and prayers are with you, your sister and all involved!!!!! Hang in there. Hospice workers are a godsend. They were there for us when my mother was dying from cancer, I was 9. I still 20 years later remember all of there names. They are great plus all the help you can get is a bonus. Take care Langa.
Aubmari 
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Jonny
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Re: PLEASE PRAY...
« Reply #2 on: Jan 9th, 2007, 4:34pm » |
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 You got'em, Sweetie!
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echo
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Re: PLEASE PRAY...
« Reply #3 on: Jan 9th, 2007, 4:36pm » |
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My heart hurts for you. You will be in my thoughts.
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Re: PLEASE PRAY...
« Reply #4 on: Jan 9th, 2007, 4:37pm » |
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I used to work in the Dementia Research Clinic here in Calgary, AB. I am not an expert, but I have dealt with a lot of dementia patients.
I don't know what stage your mother is at with her dementia, but you would know best. I would tell her that her daughter has passed away and pass on any messages she may have had. Then, remove all expectations. If her dementia is progressed, he probably won't remember you telling her, but you will.
Wouldn't you feel better letting your mother know, letting her have a chance to react, whatever that may be, and then just let it go. I wouldn't keep telling her every time you see her. Just tell her once and know that somewhere, deep in the recesses of her mind, she knows it and has made peace with it.
You need to tell her for your own peace of mind.
Peacestock
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cootie
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Re: PLEASE PRAY...
« Reply #5 on: Jan 9th, 2007, 4:37pm » |
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OMG I am so sorry......that's alot of grief for sumone to bear or even think about goin on.......the strongest of strength and healthiest of turnout wishes for you !! Wellest of wishers Pam
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JeffB
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Re: PLEASE PRAY...
« Reply #6 on: Jan 9th, 2007, 4:42pm » |
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All my prayers for you and yours.
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Paul98
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My heart goes out to you and your family Maria. I know you will find the right words for your mom when the time comes. You always have a shoulder to lean on here.
Love, Paul
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Cathi04
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Re: PLEASE PRAY...
« Reply #8 on: Jan 9th, 2007, 4:56pm » |
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Langa, That is a huge burden on you! I am so sorry to hear that your sister is so ill.
The words about Hospice are right on target. A wonderful group of people who are there to help you as well as the patient. Please use them.
I'm not sure how far the dementia is with your mother, but, since my Mom's been so ill, I vist my grandmother regularly and keep her posted. When I thought recently that my mom was not going to pull through, I went to my grandmother and I told her, straight up.."GG, Margaret(my mom) is really sick this time. I talked to her Drs and we are not sure she will make it through". She asked me a few questions."can she speak?....No,,,,,can she breathe on her own?,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,yes"...and I told her then I thought we were going to lose her. GG took all of this quite matter-of-factly, and now, a month after Mom's "crisis", she is beginning to get around a bit, spent Christmas Day with us.......and when I go to see GG, she always asks "well, is she dead yet?"........
I guess what I am saying, is, if you can help her prepare for it, well, what's the worst that can happen? You can witness a miracle, and then YOU can something to the effect of my grandmother's ill-worded question.......and say, "no, Mom, she's still alive...isn't that wonderful?"
Hold onto every ounce of energy right now. And stop in when you can for this group's special energy. Try to keep a positive outlook, and pray like hell for a miracle....
I'll be doing the same for you.
hugs for you all,
Cathi
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artonio7
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Re: PLEASE PRAY...
« Reply #9 on: Jan 9th, 2007, 5:20pm » |
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Langa,
Dealing with the sickness of a loved one is the most difficult thing to go through. There is never a reward for the despair, but the comfort you are giving your sister is a treasure of immeasurable wealth. Bless you for not abandoning her and for finding the courage to be there for her. Love is usually measured by what feels good, but true love is proven by your actions.
Your sister is very lucky to have you and I am very proud to have made your acquaintance in this forum of wonderful people.
Keep your chin up and know that you are making a wonderful difference in someone's life in spite of the pain you are enduring.
You and yours have my prayers and my gratitude for your humanity.
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The mad viking
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Re: PLEASE PRAY...
« Reply #10 on: Jan 9th, 2007, 5:31pm » |
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All my prayers for you and yours.
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Tara Ann
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Re: PLEASE PRAY...
« Reply #11 on: Jan 9th, 2007, 5:36pm » |
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Oh wow what a load to have on your heart. My own heart goes out to you, as do my prayers.
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Mosaicwench
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Re: PLEASE PRAY...
« Reply #12 on: Jan 9th, 2007, 6:26pm » |
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on Jan 9th, 2007, 5:20pm, artonio7 wrote:Langa,
Dealing with the sickness of a loved one is the most difficult thing to go through. There is never a reward for the despair, but the comfort you are giving your sister is a treasure of immeasurable wealth. Bless you for not abandoning her and for finding the courage to be there for her. Love is usually measured by what feels good, but true love is proven by your actions. |
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Very, VERY well said.
Having just come out of the other side of Hospice with my elderly father, I highly recommend it. Hospice can be in your home or in a facility - they assess the patient's needs and help you decide. I'd recommend talking with Hospice ASAP.
Hospice is much more nimble than the standard medical hierarchy and can respond to changing needs very quickly. They also help the FAMILY, not just the patient, and for that I will always be grateful. When I felt overwhelmed and needed an impartial shoulder, they were always there.
God bless your family through this very difficult time. Please private message me if you need more information about Hospice or anythig else you come across.
Good luck.
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Chillrmn1
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Thoughts and prayers for you through this difficult time.
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TonyG1
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Prayers for you and your family Langa !! 
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Re: PLEASE PRAY...
« Reply #16 on: Jan 9th, 2007, 7:26pm » |
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Our thoughts and prayers are with you Langa.
Shedz and Debs.
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Re: PLEASE PRAY...
« Reply #17 on: Jan 9th, 2007, 7:43pm » |
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We will be praying for you both, and for your mother and your sister's children. I'll also pass along the need to the prayer group at church. God's comfort and strenth to you, as well as His wisdom for the decisions you need to make.
Jerry
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BlueMeanie
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Re: PLEASE PRAY...
« Reply #18 on: Jan 9th, 2007, 7:48pm » |
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Vibes and prayers Langa.
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George_J
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Re: PLEASE PRAY...
« Reply #19 on: Jan 9th, 2007, 7:56pm » |
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We used hospice to help with us with Liz's mother when she was in her last weeks (at home) before she died of metastisized breast cancer. They also helped us during my father's last few days, after we brought him home from the hospital.
I can't say enough good things about hospice. I can't imagine how difficult things would have been without them.
I'm sorry for what you're going through. It's very, very difficult--I truly know. My very best to you and yours.
Best wishes,
George
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E-Double
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Re: PLEASE PRAY...
« Reply #20 on: Jan 9th, 2007, 8:21pm » |
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Charlie
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Re: PLEASE PRAY...
« Reply #21 on: Jan 9th, 2007, 8:29pm » |
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I'm with you too, Langa.
Charlie
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Re: PLEASE PRAY...
« Reply #22 on: Jan 9th, 2007, 8:38pm » |
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Bless your heart.
There's nothing I can say to change, what is.
I went through this with my sister just 3 years ago. I will say that the Hospice in Charleston, S.C., were the most compassionate people I have ever come in contact with. I have often been told that all the Hospice people are the same. They always know what to do, and when to do it.
As strong a person as you are Langa, you should get with her doc and get the Hospice folks involved when she comes home.
My heart goes out to you. This is a tough situation and one that I wish you didn't have to face.
You and your sis will be in my thoughts and prayers. Let us know how things are going.
Lean on us, Langa....it's a heavy load to bear alone, sweetie.
Much love to you,
Jean
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Karla
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Re: PLEASE PRAY...
« Reply #23 on: Jan 9th, 2007, 9:14pm » |
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We will be praying for miricles, peace of mind, wisdom to make decisions, and comfort. I will also ask my church to be praying for you and your family. Keep us informed and remember to take care of yourself also.
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broomhilda
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Re: PLEASE PRAY...
« Reply #24 on: Jan 9th, 2007, 9:15pm » |
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Prayers on their way from my home to yours
Hugs
Andrea
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| « Last Edit: Jan 9th, 2007, 9:15pm by broomhilda » |
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