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Topic: 11 years today (Read 523 times) |
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sandie99
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11 years today
« on: Apr 18th, 2008, 1:49pm » |
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Early hours of this day back in 1997 were the one of the worst in my life so far. That's when a nurse from a local hospital called and informed my mother that my father had lost his battle against brain cancer and passed away.
They say that time heals all wounds... or something like that. Still, there has been many days during these 11 years in which the pain of losing dad felt as fresh as it did back then. That was a Friday, too.
This year recalling today's events 11 years ago has been easier. No tears yet, no candles lit, yet. I've recalled my father with a smile on my face. He wasn't a perfect man, but as far as I'm concerned, he was the perfect dad.
Dad and I had our differences, of course we did. He saw the world at times through too dark glasses to my liking. We disagreed with lot of things from ice hockey teams to chocolate.
But each time I look into the mirror, I can see dad; I've inherited the shape of my face from him. My eyesight and ears are similar to dad's as well. We both loved fishing on a summer night, taking long walks at a forest near our summer cabin, singing silly songs very badly(driving mom insane!) and taking a lot of pictures.
I do have one regret: that I didn't say "I love you" often enough to dad. If I could spend one more day with him, I'd tell him that about thousand times. But the love he had for me still carries me today, as it has, through many difficult, dark and challenging times.
There are a lot of things I know about my dad, but this year, I plan to know even more. Dad's side of the family have their very own magazine and I've asked the editor to publish a simple request: that our relatives will share their memories of dad, no matter what those memories are. 
Sanna
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midwestbeth
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Re: 11 years today
« Reply #1 on: Apr 18th, 2008, 4:25pm » |
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Beth
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Grandma_Sweet_Boy
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Re: 11 years today
« Reply #2 on: Apr 18th, 2008, 4:41pm » |
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Tiannia
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Re: 11 years today
« Reply #3 on: Apr 18th, 2008, 5:24pm » |
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Sanna,
I know with everything inside me that your dad knows that you loved him and lone him still. He is still with you and watching over you.
11 years ago, at 1:15am to be exact. My Daughter was born.
As long as you remember what he meant to you, you will have him with you. Just like I tell me kids that I am always with them and always will be.
/huggs Tia
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| « Last Edit: Apr 18th, 2008, 5:55pm by Tiannia » |
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Jonny
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Re: 11 years today
« Reply #4 on: Apr 18th, 2008, 5:29pm » |
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Langa
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Re: 11 years today
« Reply #5 on: Apr 18th, 2008, 5:52pm » |
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Sanna...thank you for your post. 11 years and you still miss him and think of him. He sounds like he was a great dad.
Love,
Langa
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Annette
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Re: 11 years today
« Reply #6 on: Apr 18th, 2008, 7:05pm » |
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I miss my dad too and it has been nearly 20 years so I know how you feel
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Charlotte
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Re: 11 years today
« Reply #7 on: Apr 18th, 2008, 7:13pm » |
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George_J
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Re: 11 years today
« Reply #8 on: Apr 18th, 2008, 7:19pm » |
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Rosybabe
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Re: 11 years today
« Reply #9 on: Apr 18th, 2008, 7:26pm » |
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Your dad will live in your heart as long as you remember him and I am sure He is looking over you.
Rosy.
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jimmers
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Re: 11 years today
« Reply #10 on: Apr 18th, 2008, 10:11pm » |
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Sanna,
I'm sure your post will remind him how much you loved him.
I'm sure he is proud of you, as are we! Thank you for being you!
Jim
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nani
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Re: 11 years today
« Reply #11 on: Apr 18th, 2008, 11:20pm » |
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No tears yet, no candles lit, yet. I've recalled my father with a smile on my face.
That's when we know we're healing.
love, nani
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jon019
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Re: 11 years today
« Reply #12 on: Apr 18th, 2008, 11:47pm » |
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Thanks Sanna, NEAT memories, I pray they comfort you, and surely brought up some of my own for my Dad.
on Apr 18th, 2008, 1:49pm, sandie99 wrote:
They say that time heals all wounds... or something like that. Still, there has been many days during these 11 years in which the pain of losing dad felt as fresh as it did back then. That was a Friday, too.
As long as they are remembered, they are not really gone.
But each time I look into the mirror, I can see dad; I've inherited the shape of my face from him. My eyesight and ears are similar to dad's as well.
I look exactly like my Dad. Pictures of him at my various ages have always been eerie.
I do have one regret: that I didn't say "I love you" often enough to dad. If I could spend one more day with him, I'd tell him that about thousand times.
Dad and I didn't connect. Past the age of 5 I don't recall telling him I loved him. Big mistake, big regrets. When Mom remarried (10 years later) I determined not to make that mistake again. My step-dad was a great guy. I'd kiss him on greeting and told him I loved him as many times as I could. Didn't make up for past mistakes but damn if I would make the same again. Was a life lesson: Tell the ones you love that you love them every chance you get, cuz you never know when it will be too late.
Sanna
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Regards,
Jon
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barry_sword
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Re: 11 years today
« Reply #13 on: Apr 19th, 2008, 6:38am » |
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Sanna, I miss my dad too.
Here is a hug for you.
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Jackie
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Re: 11 years today
« Reply #14 on: Apr 19th, 2008, 8:47am » |
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Oh Sanna....bless your heart.
I lost my Daddy 7 years ago this month. Sometimes it seems like only yesterday. Sometimes if feels like a million years ago. I'll miss him and love him until the day a die.....and will always feel blessed that he was my Daddy.
Lovely post, Sweetie. You put your thoughts to words very well.
Much love,
Jackie
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deltadarlin
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Re: 11 years today
« Reply #15 on: Apr 19th, 2008, 10:39am » |
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May 2 will be the 32nd anniversary of my mama's death. Some years are fine and some years aren't (I don't think this is going to be one of the *fine* years though). It does get a bit easier though.
hugs
Carolyn
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beachmusic
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Sanna,
I have personally experienced no greater loss than the loss of my dad. He was my hero and and my favorite person to talk to everyday. Now that my mother is gone to I feel a bit like an orphan.
We have out memories, and as you said time helps to heal our hearts. Hugs and kisses to you!
Just remember our loved ones are truly in a better place Mary Ann
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| « Last Edit: Apr 19th, 2008, 10:46am by beachmusic » |
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mummymac
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Re: 11 years today
« Reply #17 on: Apr 19th, 2008, 2:09pm » |
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For Sanna and all of you out there who have lost a parent may you all have wonderful memories that are happy and joyful
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Charlie
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Re: 11 years today
« Reply #18 on: Apr 19th, 2008, 5:15pm » |
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Jill
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Re: 11 years today
« Reply #19 on: Apr 20th, 2008, 11:27am » |
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It will be five years on April 26 that my dad passed away suddenly and there is not a day that goes by that I do not miss him and think of him.
This year is harder and I find myself missing him more and wishing that his emails were there (we used to email each other everyday, sometimes a few times a day). I think that this is in part because I just got married - dunno though.
Anyways, I wanted to say that I send hugs your way during this time.
I think that all we can do now is remember them, talk about them and cherish those moments that we did have. I, too, have regrets but I am slowly realizing that I can do nothing about that but to learn and to love. I know that he loved me and that love is what I carry in my heart and share with others.
Thinking of you,
Jill
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Cathi_Pierce
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Re: 11 years today
« Reply #20 on: Apr 20th, 2008, 11:53am » |
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July 1,last year, after going through soo much, Mom told me she was tired, and so my sister and I said goodbye to her. It's tough. I didn't want her to suffer any longer, but I sure didn't want to let her go!
I try to take time to find the beauty in this world as Mom was always able to do, and I take her everywhere in my heart.............I loved her enough to let her go......
We had a real connection, Mother and me, to this day, I will see something and feel compelled to call her and tell her of it.........but, y'know what? She
knows.........because she is always near me.....
Sanna, some men are just not as open and demonstrative as others.....I suspect your father adored you completely.......but, if he'd let you know, well, you would've wrapped him around your little finger and been a very spoiled little girl!
I describe my dad as gruff...........as time has passed, I realize that was his mechanism. He indulged us, adored us and reveled in us...he just could'nt tell us.......
Betcha your dad was the same, Sanna.
Wrap yourself in the good memories, let them keep you warm, always,
Cathi
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sandie99
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Re: 11 years today
« Reply #21 on: Apr 23rd, 2008, 2:09pm » |
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Thank you all for your kind words and hugs.
Those who shared about your losses, thank you very much.
Sanna
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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