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        New Message Board Archives >> 2002 Posts >> Sad to be back....
        
(Message started by: KathiK on Nov 27^th, 2002, 7:01am)

Title: Sad to be back....
Post by KathiK on Nov 27^th, 2002, 7:01am

Although I have been gone, the demon hasn't. I got a very long break....almost a year. Someone smiled upon me and kept the demon at bay while I buried my mother, ended my marraige, lost my job and generally watched my life get ripped to shreds.
My demonic child has come back from her vacation. As I get older, she gets craftier. Her new repetoire includes dizziness and searing heat. I always got warm at the beginning of an attack, but now it's like a furnace. I can soak through a tshirt in mere seconds.
I've noticed a certain resignation that wasn't there before. I used to rage and curse and scream at her....taunting her. I would strap shredded sheets around my head like a tourniquet and defy her to break me. I looked like a mad, pirate warrior, holding my WaterPik Shower Massage sword. I'd actually try and clean the bathroom while I was in there for an attack...."you won't break me, you bitch!"
Not now. Not anymore. Now I whimper and beg and bargain. I crawl and bang. And when it gets to a level I can sit still through, I curl up in the fetal position and have bargaining sessions with God. I dream of morphine injections like the syringe scene from "Tommy" And I know in my heart that she will return shortly.
DJ and all, the new site is beautiful. Glad to see so many more people are "coming out" There is great power in numbers...hopefully, that will help us all.
My wish for you all, at the very least, is a PF Thanksgiving.
Kathi from NJ

Title: Re: Sad to be back....
Post by Murazza on Nov 27^th, 2002, 7:34am

Kathi,

sorry to hear IT is back with you. Let's just hope it was a fluke and you will be on your break for another couple of years or so...

keep posting and hang in there sis...

Title: Re: Sad to be back....
Post by echo on Nov 27^th, 2002, 10:20am

Sorry to read that the beast has returned. Also, sorry of all you have dealt with over the past year. Hopefully his stay will be short lived.
How true it is that this mutant of a beast returns as something new. Just when you think you have him figured out.

Title: Re: Sad to be back....
Post by Drk^Angel on Nov 27^th, 2002, 11:37am

Welcome back to the board! Sorry that the beast is skewering your cranium on a white hot, rusty pirate's sword. Good luck!

PFDAN.............................. Drk^Angel

Title: Re: Sad to be back....
Post by Charlie on Nov 28^th, 2002, 1:53am

Me too, and that anyone has to go through this shit makes me wonder........a lot.

Sorry life has tossed so much crap in your direction but believe me, things will get better.

Yes they will.

Charlie