Author |
Topic: National Lampoon Headlines (Read 395 times) |
|
Ted
New Board Newbie
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
Gender: 
Posts: 1
|
 |
National Lampoon Headlines
« on: Jan 21st, 2003, 3:40pm » |
 Quote  Modify
|
Missing California pregnant woman's husband to join in search for wife; OJ Simpson offers to share search advice
Sharon says Europe is biased against Israel; "Vy vould you zink zat ve have zomezink against ze Jews?" asks German chancellor innocently
North Korea wants "Knee to knee" talks with US; "We'll have to bring in a high chair," smirks President
NASA to send teacher into space next year; "probably not a history teacher," notes widowed husband of Christa MacAuliffe dryly
American Indian colleges embrace heritage, accept brightly-colored beads for tuition
Shark populations in rapid decline due to overfishing; American Bar Association urges members to stay out of the water
Researchers discover how embryos stick to uterus; Deranged performance artist discovers how embryos stick to wall of his basement
25% of American women are distressed about their sex lives; 75% have pool boys
Rumors of vampire attacks spark fear in Malawi; Government responds by outlawing "Blacula" rentals
Australian MD plans to build new, improved suicide machine for people to kill themselves with; calls his groundbreaking invention "the shotgun"
Convicted super-hacker Kevin Mitnick allowed to go online again; first thing he does is type "what are you wearing?" in chat room
1 in 5 depressed people attempt suicide; 4 in 5 wonder where the others get their energy from
Bush says "there is more to do" to achieve Dr. King's dream; promises to do his best to stop it
Libya set to win chairmanship of UN human rights commission; "We have ways of discovering the truth about violations," testifies Libya's chief "investigator"
Shortage of Girl Scout Troop leaders blamed on lack of firm, supple prepubescent boys with virgin asses
The Who's Pete Townsend Arrested On Pedophilia Charges; Will Change "My Generation" Lyrics To "Hope I die before I'm paroled"
|
|
 IP Logged |
|
|
|
firebrix
New Board Hall of Famer
I must never weaken.
Gender: 
Posts: 683
|
|
Re: National Lampoon Headlines
« Reply #1 on: Jan 21st, 2003, 5:09pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Hey Ted!
Great to see you're back and keeping us all in fits of laughter again! Good to see you again, mate!
Hope your car is now fixed too.
Happy daze! PFDAN and trouble-free motoring and computing
firebrix
|
|
IP Logged |
"All that it takes for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
Edmund Burke
|
|
|
2late
New Board Hall of Famer
Ride Free..Pain Free
Gender:
Posts: 1190
|
|
Re: National Lampoon Headlines
« Reply #2 on: Jan 21st, 2003, 9:33pm » |
Quote Modify
|
LMAO! welcome back bro' ..........2late
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
cootie
New Board Hall of Famer
sumday I'm gonna be sumbody........ ..
Gender:
Posts: 8406
|
|
Re: National Lampoon Headlines
« Reply #4 on: Jan 21st, 2003, 10:51pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Good times will be had by all now that Ted is back....Pam
|
|
IP Logged |
Cause and Effect......"Cause is the effect concealed, Effect is the cause revealed"
|
|
|
jonny
Guest
|
|
Re: National Lampoon Headlines
« Reply #5 on: Jan 21st, 2003, 11:15pm » |
Quote Modify
 Remove
|
Ted who?.......LOL
Glad to see you back, Bro
........................jonny
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
Peppermint
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Work it out baby!
 
Gender:
Posts: 2605
|
|
Re: National Lampoon Headlines
« Reply #6 on: Jan 22nd, 2003, 12:42am » |
Quote Modify
|
See .... I knew you'd be back you wiseass. 
Glad to see you start off in true form Ted... Boy, wait 'till you get rollin... 
schmuck you... 
Pepp 
|
|
IP Logged |
You like apples? How ya like them apples?
When playing in the gym, beware of steel beams. - M. Amyx
Carve your name on hearts, and not on marble. - Charles H. Spurgeon
FYI - I am NOT a clusterhead.
|
|
|
BobG
New Board Hall of Famer
Gender:
Posts: 5747
|
|
Re: National Lampoon Headlines
« Reply #7 on: Jan 22nd, 2003, 2:56am » |
Quote Modify
|
Ted's back!
Here's headlines from the Houston Daily News.
Gen Xer's Gather to Protest War with Iraq
The story goes on to say Gen Xer's and over-the-hill Yuppies held a 10 minute protest shouting "Hell no we won't go. We won't fight for Texaco" And "No war for oil"
Then they all hopped in their Escalades, Excursions, Navigators and Hummers and went to Starbucks for a cappuccino.
|
|
IP Logged |
Stay stressed. Never relax. Never sleep. Ever.
|
|
|
Charlie
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Happy to be here
   
Gender:
Posts: 14968
|
|
Re: National Lampoon Headlines
« Reply #8 on: Jan 22nd, 2003, 7:10am » |
Quote Modify
|
Ted's back and all is right with the world. Everyone open their files of incredibly inane political bullshit.
Ahh......I feel warm and cosy again.....in strictly a heterosexual fashion, you understand.
Charlie
|
|
IP Logged |
There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
|
|
|
|
|
|
Home
Help
Search
Members
Member Map
Login
Register
Reply
Notify of replies
Send Topic
Print
test rss