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Topic: MEN'S RULES - For the Ladies... (Read 1670 times) |
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Langa
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Re: MEN'S RULES - For the Ladies...
« Reply #25 on: Jan 4th, 2005, 3:04pm » |
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on Jan 4th, 2005, 12:18pm, nani wrote:
LOL Robbie...what you didn't see in the pic:
I had just gotten up off the couch
You can't see the unshaved body hair under the sweater
And you can't see my hand in my pants scratching my "whatever"...  |
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Girl, that sounds like Al Bundy! 
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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Langa
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Re: MEN'S RULES - For the Ladies...
« Reply #26 on: Jan 4th, 2005, 3:06pm » |
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on Jan 4th, 2005, 2:44pm, karma wrote:Nani,
I live on an island that is 1/2 Dutch and 1/2 French.
You gotta do better than that to surprise me. |
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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nani
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Re: MEN'S RULES - For the Ladies...
« Reply #27 on: Jan 4th, 2005, 3:07pm » |
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I am Al Bundy! I'm OK with it, though...
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Others may come and go, but MY power is MINE.
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Langa
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Re: MEN'S RULES - For the Ladies...
« Reply #28 on: Jan 4th, 2005, 3:08pm » |
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on Jan 4th, 2005, 2:43pm, ExplodingEyeBall wrote:If I forget to get a card on one of those Hallmark holidays, it DOESN'T mean that I'm getting action outside of our marriage. It simply means that I'm a dude and I forgot.
I know how much you weigh. I don't care how much you weigh. You don't have to go on a diet for me. When I look at you, I see the pom pom girl that I went to High School with. |
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Then you are an exception to the rule...
Langa
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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hilbily
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Re: MEN'S RULES - For the Ladies...
« Reply #29 on: Jan 4th, 2005, 3:17pm » |
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on Jan 4th, 2005, 12:03pm, karma wrote:
The kids belong to both of us. You cannot blame them on me when they have been bad and take credit for them when they have been good.
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Yes, we can, and do!
Jim
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vig
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Re: MEN'S RULES - For the Ladies...
« Reply #30 on: Jan 4th, 2005, 3:21pm » |
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not the only one...
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never, Never, NEVER quit. -Winston Churchill
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Langa
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Re: MEN'S RULES - For the Ladies...
« Reply #31 on: Jan 4th, 2005, 3:30pm » |
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on Jan 4th, 2005, 3:21pm, vig wrote:| not the only one... |
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Miklos
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Re: MEN'S RULES - For the Ladies...
« Reply #32 on: Jan 4th, 2005, 6:22pm » |
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Ladies, perhaps this is the product you were looking for earlier in this thread?
P.S. After nearly 40 years of helping do laundry here at the house, I can practically guarantee that that I have never seen any "splotched" ladies undergarments. Yeah, right.
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Don't be offended by my frank analysis. Think of it as personality dialysis.
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Langa
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Re: MEN'S RULES - For the Ladies...
« Reply #33 on: Jan 4th, 2005, 7:06pm » |
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on Jan 4th, 2005, 6:22pm, Miklos wrote:Ladies, perhaps this is the product you were looking for earlier in this thread?
P.S. After nearly 40 years of helping do laundry here at the house, I can practically guarantee that that I have never seen any "splotched" ladies undergarments. Yeah, right. |
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Thanks Miklos, but we weren't looking for anything, we just felt that the stubborn creeping crud could easily be fixed by men just washing their ass with warm soap and water...lmao!!!
And I have no idea what "splotching" is on women's underwear...
Thanks for the info though.
Langa ;;D
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Sean_C
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Re: MEN'S RULES - For the Ladies...
« Reply #34 on: Jan 4th, 2005, 8:14pm » |
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if men wrote advice columns...
This was not written by me, its just for fun
(thanx karen)
Sean...............................
Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.
A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing, your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved, too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your best friend without you. If you're still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.
Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is thank him be performing it at least twice a day, and then cook him a nice meal.
Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is a great stress reliever and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it is a great time to clean the house, too!). Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he returns home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.
Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it, do it on your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.
Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to men is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should. He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.
Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one.
A: I'm not sure that I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.
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Jonny
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Re: MEN'S RULES - For the Ladies...
« Reply #35 on: Jan 4th, 2005, 8:28pm » |
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Thats a keeper, Sean........LMMFAO
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nani
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Re: MEN'S RULES - For the Ladies...
« Reply #36 on: Jan 4th, 2005, 10:39pm » |
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ROTFLMAO Sean... I am so glad Dear Abby didn't leave her column to you...perhaps you could get a Dr Phil like show on Bravo?
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Others may come and go, but MY power is MINE.
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Sean_C
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Re: MEN'S RULES - For the Ladies...
« Reply #37 on: Jan 4th, 2005, 10:44pm » |
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God I love you nan, you are awesome That advice column killed me too
Sean..................................
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broomhilda
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Re: MEN'S RULES - For the Ladies...
« Reply #38 on: Jan 4th, 2005, 10:48pm » |
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LMFAO Sean!!!
edit to add Mik, thats what gstrings are for 
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| « Last Edit: Jan 4th, 2005, 10:50pm by broomhilda » |
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Suck it up Princess...
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Peppermint
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Re: MEN'S RULES - For the Ladies...
« Reply #39 on: Jan 4th, 2005, 10:51pm » |
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brown strip... bleaaugh. 
Nani and Langa.... you girls are a trRRRip!
Pep
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Lobster
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Re: MEN'S RULES - For the Ladies...
« Reply #40 on: Jan 4th, 2005, 11:26pm » |
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Shit Sean... that one is a hoot!
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Jimi
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Re: MEN'S RULES - For the Ladies...
« Reply #41 on: Jan 4th, 2005, 11:29pm » |
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Langa
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Re: MEN'S RULES - For the Ladies...
« Reply #42 on: Jan 5th, 2005, 8:49am » |
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I THINK YOU'RE ALL CERTIFIABLE
I'm the only Normal Clusterhead here...
Langa
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becky8
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Re: MEN'S RULES - For the Ladies...
« Reply #43 on: Jan 5th, 2005, 9:25am » |
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See what you started Langa Looks like things really got going last night!!! 
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Langa
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Re: MEN'S RULES - For the Ladies...
« Reply #44 on: Jan 5th, 2005, 10:04am » |
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on Jan 5th, 2005, 9:25am, becky8 wrote:| See what you started Langa Looks like things really got going last night!!! |
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It started after I left the board too...missed all the fun... 
Actually, you started it Becky with the brown streak undies...your fault!
Langa
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vig
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Re: MEN'S RULES - For the Ladies...
« Reply #45 on: Jan 5th, 2005, 11:16am » |
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5 yard penalty for being too funny.
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never, Never, NEVER quit. -Winston Churchill
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Jeepgun
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Re: MEN'S RULES - For the Ladies...
« Reply #46 on: Jan 5th, 2005, 11:35am » |
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Hate to burst your bubble ladies, but men aren't the only ones that end up with "racing stripes."
I was doing the laundry for my girlfriend, several years ago. She thanked me. I told her it was no problem, but that her underwear were like a breakfast platter: Cream with a strip of bacon. And she never asked me to do laundry again.
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Langa
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So many donuts, such little time...
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Re: MEN'S RULES - For the Ladies...
« Reply #47 on: Jan 5th, 2005, 11:40am » |
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on Jan 5th, 2005, 11:35am, Jeepgun wrote:Hate to burst your bubble ladies, but men aren't the only ones that end up with "racing stripes."
I was doing the laundry for my girlfriend, several years ago. She thanked me. I told her it was no problem, but that her underwear were like a breakfast platter: Cream with a strip of bacon. And she never asked me to do laundry again. |
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Okay, I almost gagged at that one Frank! Yuck! I'm glad I wasn't having a breakfast sandwich... 
I mean, haven't women heard of panty liners?...they're called "liners" for a reason. Some women just have more natural discharge than others, it's normal, but you have to wear liners...
Yeesh!
Langa
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Jeepgun
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Re: MEN'S RULES - For the Ladies...
« Reply #48 on: Jan 5th, 2005, 12:16pm » |
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So, if men began wearing "liners" then we wouldn't be leaving those brown lines in our drawers? Oh.. I see. You girls are a bunch of cheaters.
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Langa
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So many donuts, such little time...
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Re: MEN'S RULES - For the Ladies...
« Reply #49 on: Jan 5th, 2005, 12:21pm » |
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on Jan 5th, 2005, 12:16pm, Jeepgun wrote:| So, if men began wearing "liners" then we wouldn't be leaving those brown lines in our drawers? Oh.. I see. You girls are a bunch of cheaters. |
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Hmmmm?? Now there's an idea...Liners for men...Becky?! Where are you?! We can make millions on this idea!!!
Thanks Frank! We'll cut you in on the deal...
Langa
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