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Topic: Parents Worst College Nightmare (Read 288 times) |
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burnt-toast
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Parents Worst College Nightmare
« on: Dec 17th, 2005, 9:20am » |
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Dear Mother and Dad:
I know that since leaving for college three months ago I have been remiss in writing and am very sorry for my thoughtlessness. You are probably also wondering why you haven’t been able to reach me by phone. So I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. You are not to read any further unless you are sitting down... OK?
Well, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my apartment when it caught fire shortly after my arrival are OK now. I only spent two weeks in the hospital and I can see almost normally and only get three headaches a day.
Fortunately, Bob, the attendant at the gas station, (he likes to be called Wheezer) near the apartment witnessed the fire and called the Fire Department and ambulance. He also visited me at the hospital, and since I had nowhere else to live, was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with him. It's really a basement room, but it is kind of cute. He is a very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to get married. We haven't set the exact date yet, but I assure you it will be before my pregnancy begins to show.
Yes, Mother and Dad, I am pregnant. Knowing how much you are looking forward to being grandparents I know you will welcome our baby and give it the same love, devotion and tender care you gave me. The reason for the delay in our marriage is that we have a minor infection that prevents us from passing our premarital blood tests. We are told this will soon clear up with the penicillin injections we receive daily.
I know you will welcome Wheezer into our family with open arms. He is kind and although not well educated, he is ambitious. The quick money we are going to make on a big deal he is working on with his friends is all he can talk about. Although he is of a different religion than ours, I know you express tolerance and will not be bothered by the new way I must dress. I am sure you will love him as I do. His family background is good too. His father is an important person on Rikers Island. I hope to visit there some day as Wheezer keeps referring to their family home a “The Big House” and you know how I’ve always wanted to live in a big house near the ocean.
Now that I have brought you up to date. There was no apartment fire. I did not have a concussion or skull fracture. I was not in the hospital. I am not pregnant or engaged. I do not have syphilis and there is no boyfriend named Wheezer. However, I am getting a "D" in History and an "F" in Science, and just wanted you to put these minor issues in the proper perspective.
Your loving daughter,
Dorothy
Yeah: Children getting educated.
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Would the owner of the propane torch, egg beater, pipe expander and vise grips please claim these items. They're lodged in my head and I need the space.
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Jasmyn
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Each day will be a new trick in life's journey
 
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Re: Parents Worst College Nightmare
« Reply #1 on: Dec 17th, 2005, 9:58am » |
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That's like being burnt like toast 
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Jazz 
Madness is proclaimed by society’s inability to accept its own infallibility
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BarbaraD
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Hugs to ya
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Re: Parents Worst College Nightmare
« Reply #2 on: Dec 17th, 2005, 11:48am » |
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Guess an "F" ain't that bad after all..... LMAO.....
Hugs BD
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What don't kill ya, Makes ya stonger!
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