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Title: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by EBaby on Dec 30th, 2004, 10:41am Dad is leaving the hospital today I hope for the last time. They are sending him home to die now. They have called in Hospice. Thats good I hear they are wonderful people. I am ok with it. I feel the Doctors have been putting him through unnessary pain with all the test and crap. I love my Dad and this is hard but yet to know he won't hurt any more is a blessing. The hard part will be when he is gone not being able to see him. I am not happy nor am I sad I just somewhere in between ! |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by don on Dec 30th, 2004, 10:53am Hospice are angels sent directly from God. Both for the patient and the family. I donate yearly to the Hospice Center that treated my Dad. They provide understanding and compassion. Most importantly is they provide dignity to the sufferer. |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by broomhilda on Dec 30th, 2004, 10:57am Don you are so right Hospice workers are angels... Elaine, my heart and prayers are with you and your family [smiley=hug.gif] |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by JDH on Dec 30th, 2004, 11:02am I'm sorry to hear this Elaine. I know this is a very hard time for you and your family and I will keep you in my thoughts. We've had some experience with Hospice and like Don said, they really are angels. Jim |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by Svenn on Dec 30th, 2004, 11:03am Elaine, my heart and prayers are with you and your family :( :( :'( :'( |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by cschick on Dec 30th, 2004, 11:03am You and your family will be in my heart and prayers. Hugs and love to you and yours- Karen |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by Jackie on Dec 30th, 2004, 11:07am Bless your heart, Elaine. This isn't easy but love and support from family and friends will see you through....my heart goes out to you all. We're holding you close and keeping you in our thoughts and prayers. Love to you my friend, Jackie |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by nani on Dec 30th, 2004, 11:09am [smiley=hug.gif] Your's is a mature and truly loving attitude about this Elaine. Sometimes, we can be selfish and want someone around, even when it's not in their best interest. You have an opportunity to not have any "unfinished business" with him before he goes. I was always grateful to have told my dad everything I felt what is important before he passed away. I'm going through the same process now with my mom. Except she has Alzheimer's so she really doesn't remember any of it. I'm hoping that on some level she understands. I'm sending prayers for both of you. |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by TxBasslady on Dec 30th, 2004, 11:09am Don is right. These people are angels. They are so compassionate, and will do anything for the family. When my sister died last year in So. Carolina, the hospice there were wonderful. We called them at 2 a.m., when we just couldn't function after no sleep for 28 hours. They were there within minutes, and took over the watch and let us sleep. They are a unique group. I have no idea where they get these people. E, you know I love you. And you also know that when God is ready, he will take your Dad. I am thankful that my Dad went so peacefully. No real sickness....just a few seconds of pain, and he was gone. He was my best friend and my fishin' buddy. We were close....and had left nothing unsaid. I miss him....and I still cry, even tho it's been over 10 years. I know your Dad has had a rough few months lately. Just do what you feel you need too, and leave the rest to God. It's in His hands anyway. Much love, E.....I will be there if you need me, sweetie. Jean |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by Cathi04 on Dec 30th, 2004, 11:32am E-I resound everyone else's words.........it is soo hard to say goodbye, I've done it myself. My father has been gone for 20 yrs now, Jan 13th would've been his 85th Birthday. Somehow, the pain of losing him has been replaced by the memories of Daddy as I grew up. As for Hospice, well, they taught us how to let go, and allowed him to die with dignity, quietly by our sides, carrying on when we couldn't. My heart goes out to you, E. Cathi |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by AlienSpaceBabe on Dec 30th, 2004, 11:33am My thoughts are with you and your family |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by BobG on Dec 30th, 2004, 11:43am May God watch over your father and welcome him Home when the time is right. Prayers and love to you and your family. |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by Tiannia on Dec 30th, 2004, 12:06pm May he find peace and feel the love that is surrounding him. Be at peace as well, Elaine. It is hard to let them go, but there are times when it has to happen to let the pain pass. Blessed Be, -Tia |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by don on Dec 30th, 2004, 12:13pm Quote:
Yes it is but make sure no stone gets left unturned. Make your apologies and amends. Reminisce. Laugh together. Hug each other daily. And geeze Elaine to guy aint dead yet. Ecourage him to grab a hold of cute Hospice butt every chance he gets! That was my suggestion to my Dad AND HE TOOK IT HAPPILY! |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by Woobie on Dec 30th, 2004, 12:14pm I'm sorry E! :'( :'( |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by vig on Dec 30th, 2004, 12:15pm nearly time for the Irish wake Elaine. Celebrate the great times you had. Remember the positive influences he showed. |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by Langa on Dec 30th, 2004, 12:23pm I'm sorry Elaine about your Dad. I would agree with Don to leave no stone unturned. So many of us lose loved ones suddenly and don't get to have this time. My sister works for hospice. I have to say it takes special people to do this kind of work, so i'm happy your Dad will get help from them as well. Prayers to you both, Langa |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by E-Double on Dec 30th, 2004, 12:49pm Prayers to your family!! You seem to be at peace...... Wishing you and your family the best. Eric |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by snook on Dec 30th, 2004, 1:06pm Oh E, My heart goes out to you and yours. Ive been down that road with mom, dad aunt and uncle 2 year period. there are so many things to say and yet none. IF that makes any sense, your in my prays take care of youself and your own health as well. its times like these that can ware you down to your soul!!!!! Much love and prays SNOOK |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by ZAIRA on Dec 30th, 2004, 1:28pm I am saying a prayer for your dad and for you all in your grief. Love, Zaira |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by LeLimey on Dec 30th, 2004, 1:49pm Don's posts about hospice workers and not missing opportunities are spot on! I wish your father and you peace Elaine.. and a few more good times too :) love Helen |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by Bethany1 on Dec 30th, 2004, 1:55pm prayers and vibes to you and your family Elaine--- [smiley=hug.gif] B |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by Gator on Dec 30th, 2004, 2:01pm So sorry to hear this, Elaine. Praying for peace and strength for you, your father and the rest of the family. Mike |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by JenniferD on Dec 30th, 2004, 2:24pm :-[ I'm so sorry for your family's loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Wishing you peace. |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by OneEyeBlind on Dec 30th, 2004, 2:38pm Elaine, your dad will have some things he will want to share with you, and you will have things you want to share with your dad. Take advantage of this time. Grasp it, hold it dearly, and love the fact that you get a chance to say goodbye. Hospice is such a wonderful organization and understands completly the life cycle. They'll give you the space you need, while still giving you the help you need. I'll be praying that your experience with letting go slowly is as good as mine was. My prayers and thoughts are with you as well. Love, Nan. |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by Jonny on Dec 30th, 2004, 3:10pm :'( :-* |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by Grandma_Sweet_Boy on Dec 30th, 2004, 3:26pm Elaine - check your emails hon! Carol |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by guesst on Dec 30th, 2004, 3:29pm Thank God for hospice. They are wonderful. [smiley=hug.gif] |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by Ree on Dec 30th, 2004, 3:32pm I pray that you're father has a painless passing to our Lord~~~ Elaine. God bless him on his journey and know you WILL see him again. I envy him. This world is so full of sadness these days. He will be waiting for you in the next world... love to you Ree |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by Redneck on Dec 30th, 2004, 4:23pm So sorry to hear this. I know how you feel, tired, sad, angry, then numb. Hugs, and you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by Donna_H on Dec 30th, 2004, 4:29pm I've had two experiences with Hospice and can not say enough about how wonderful these people are! I can only repeat what don said........sing, cry together, make ammends, joke.......do it all. When the time comes for him to leave you, you will see a peacefulness come over him. Hospice people will tell you to let him know it is OK to leave you when the time is right. Sometimes our loved ones just hang on because they're worried about us. Their strength is amazing. We are the ones that suffer when our loved ones go on ahead of us, and we need to ask Jesus to help us find strength to get throught it and go on with our lives here. You will find comfort in the Lord, Elaine and we will all be praying for your dad and family. Love you, Donna H. |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by eddie on Dec 30th, 2004, 4:37pm prayers for you and your family :'( |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by Edna on Dec 30th, 2004, 4:46pm Elaine, Although I know this is sad news, be thankful for hospice honey. They are GREAT. You and your dad will have peacefulness in your home instead of a cold hospital room. Check your email now and hope you're feeling better than yesterday. love to you, EDNA |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by Mastifflvr28 on Dec 30th, 2004, 5:15pm Vibes and Prayers going up to your family Elaine. So glad dad is home. Mast |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by BlueMeanie on Dec 30th, 2004, 5:16pm Hugs Elaine. |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by kimh on Dec 30th, 2004, 5:17pm :-* Sending you a wing and a prayers Lady**** |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by don on Dec 30th, 2004, 5:26pm My experiance went like this: Two days before my Dad passed I noticed a sense of severed communication with him. Sought of like he was listening but he wasn't. It was a little confusing and scary to me. The day before he passed he had a look of peaceful resignation on his face that hadn't been there before. Almost happiness. We conversed as we always had. The two days I was having trouble communicating were the days he was making his peace with God. The conversations he was having were much deeper, profound, and silent than any I could have offered him. His dying process was painful to witness but spiritually awesome at the same time. He died sleeping. Peacefully. |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by Carl_D on Dec 30th, 2004, 6:57pm Sorry to hear this Elaine. I don't think there is any greater loss than a parent or a child. Sending you vibes, hugs and prayers. Peace be with you and your family, Carl D |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by Tim_Z on Dec 30th, 2004, 7:42pm Sorry Elaine, vibes for you and prayers for your dad. Tim |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by Luke63 on Dec 30th, 2004, 8:29pm My father was in Hospice....and it was a true journey for us as well as a great learning experience. Remember...it is alright for them to let go.....and for you to let go. Thoughts and prayers. Luke |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by Leesa on Dec 30th, 2004, 10:06pm Our heart felt prayers are with you and your family. I hope your time with your dad is super happy for everyone. Hospice = Angels, they were my only saving grace in dealing with my father. We love you much E. Love, Leesa [smiley=hug.gif] |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by Sean_C on Dec 30th, 2004, 10:47pm E, I am so sorry :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( Love to you, Sean.......................... |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by nancyc on Dec 30th, 2004, 10:56pm Sis, so sorry to hear this is happening in your family..In the skilled care unit at the nursing home where I work one of my jobs, Hospice is really slack...but , I have found in the homes, Hospice is wonderful....But, I know you would be like me and watch everything they do concerning your DAD..One of my personal friends had to use Hospice at home and they were true angels!..God bless and know I am here if you need me....You and yours are in my prayers...smiles, nancyc |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by Jimi on Dec 30th, 2004, 11:09pm Our prayers are for you and your family as you guys go thru this final pain. Make sure nothing is left unsaid Elaine. ((((((hugs))))) |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by EBaby on Dec 30th, 2004, 11:20pm Thanks all for the prayers and advice it means a lot. My dad doesn't know who we are half the time. In the last two years I have gotten to know him. He is in his own little world. He lets JD (my grandson) in a lot. He lets me in sometimes. He is happy in that world it seems. Dad never was one to say he loved anyone. He says it now form time to time. Dad likes me cause I don't try to get him to remeber any thing. I just go along with what ever he says. Makes Mom mad, but his mind is not coming back so I just try to get where he is when I am around him. If anyone tells Dad its ok if he goes, he would say He isn't going any where. LOL Don you better believe he is all the time grabing a nurse or my Mom on the butt. LOL I know he is not dead yet, the father I knew left a long time ago. The man I know now is different he like a baby. I love him both ways. I love both personalitys ! Every once in awhile he shows the real Dad. Last night Mom mom crawed in bed with dad so he would go to sleep. In the middle of the night a nurse came in and jumped all over my mom. Mom told the nurse off and ordered her out of the room. Dad told the nurse he did not like people tending to his business ! LMAO Thats my old dad. Well he is home tonight in his own bed and I am sure Mom is right beside him the way she has been every day since he became ill ! I do hope that Mom can rest with the help. Dad stays up all night and sleeps very little. This means my Mom gets little to no sleep. With her heart condition she needs her rest. Its been a long day and I am tired just wanted to thank you all . It means so much. |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by nancyc on Dec 31st, 2004, 12:02am What a sweet message, sis....i can picture your mom right now comforting your dad...that is so special...God bless them both! smiles, nancyc |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by Mr. Happy on Dec 31st, 2004, 12:58am on 12/30/04 at 23:20:22, EBaby wrote:
Then you done your best, Lainey. As much hell as it's gonna be on the rest of you, I don't know what's better than dying in your own bed. I suck at this. Condolances and good luck with the family. Randy |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by Charlie on Dec 31st, 2004, 3:52am Sorry you have to deal with this but I agree with Hap and the others that you're doing the very best for your dad. Believe it or not, over time, it gets easier; never goes away but things do even out a bit. Good luck to you and your family. Charlie |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by minnie on Dec 31st, 2004, 10:54am Elaine and family, There are no words to say how sorry I am you are having to go thru this.You've recieved good advice from those who have been in your shoes.I will be praying that you all havethe strength you all will needs. prayers being said, Minnie |
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Title: tttRe: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by carol_ann on Dec 31st, 2004, 7:50pm I want you to know that Hospice was the best decision my family made. My Dad passed two years ago in our living room with the family just watching TV. He died in his sleep. They say the last thing to go is hearing and I believe the sound of a funny movie and all of us talking and laughing allowed him to let go. I am so glad to have been there for his last breath. It was so peaceful. Take care of yourself. You will go thru many emotions, but with the passage of time it will get better. Love, Carolann |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by Melissa on Dec 31st, 2004, 9:51pm You have my number if you ever want to call hon. I love ya and am here for you. love, mel |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by MrsLadyElaine on Dec 31st, 2004, 10:10pm Thank you Mel. That means a lot. I am really ok right now. You know posting feeling here helps sometimes. I really do try to find good in things some of us call bad. Today I spent the day with my daughter shopping . We left the kid with Buddy LOL. I did not know I could shop in wal mart for six hours LMAO! We did. It was nice . I enjoyed a day with Deveny . Its not often she and I get to go off together. Now that Mom has help I can rest a little. I talked to Mom tonight and she said Dad was glad to be home and was feeling good. Mom wants this week end to just them so I am going to take the time to get myself together. I am just going to keep the negitive stuff in the back of my mind and enjoy the weekend and New years ! Your letters your post and PMs and calls really mean a lot to me. You guys are the best! |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by Svenn on Jan 1st, 2005, 4:49am on 12/31/04 at 22:10:07, MrsLadyElaine wrote:
Another proof that you ladies are freaking out when its about shopping milady :) |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by Kevin_M on Jan 1st, 2005, 11:05am on 12/31/04 at 22:10:07, MrsLadyElaine wrote:
Between your family and hospice being with dad, he's in the place he'd want to be right now. Best to you and family Elaine Kevin M |
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Title: Re: My Dad is being sent home to die! Post by Charlie on Jan 1st, 2005, 3:03pm Svenn's right. Six hours at a Walmart...Yikes. You better check though; there might be a law that after fours; they are required to pay you wages. 8) Take care and be as good to yourself as you are to others. Charlie |
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