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        New Message Board Archives >> 2005 General Board Posts >> Retirement
        
(Message started by: Jimi on Dec 16^th, 2005, 12:33pm)

Title: Retirement
Post by Jimi on Dec 16^th, 2005, 12:33pm

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes
harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger.
When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are
oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Jimi......Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Ruthie.
When I took "early retirement" a couple of years ago, it became necessary
for Ruthie to get a full-time job, both for extra income and for the health
benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she
was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf course about
the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am,
she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she
starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and
just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in
the Men's Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for
some home cooked grub when I hit that door.

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not
unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do
what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that
they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does
seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed. Another
symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she will say that it
is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch
hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer
encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days.
That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing
lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean).
I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods.
She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene.
I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice,
big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while.
And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Ruthie. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult.
Some will find it impossible!

Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.
However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of
your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile.
After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.....

Signed,

Jimi ;) ;;D

Title: Re: Retirement
Post by juvy on Dec 16^th, 2005, 12:48pm

Why Ruthie hasn't taken a golf club to your ass and head is beyond me. :P

Title: Re: Retirement
Post by minnie on Dec 16^th, 2005, 1:09pm

Jimi enjoyed his retirement and now he is resting eternally.Granted it's in Ruthies compost pile but well good manure is hard to come by.

R.I.P. Jimi

Minnie who is saving this post as it was the last thing
Jimi ever wrote.....

gonna hide now LOL [smiley=bag.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif]
ya know I love ya Jimi

Title: Re: Retirement
Post by Kevin_M on Dec 16^th, 2005, 1:18pm

Jimi, who really pushes the envelope, which Ruthie has addressed, stamped, licked and mailed for him.

Sometimes retirement ain't all as easy as it sounds Jimi.

::) ;;D

The only thing I'd get served after a post like that is my last breakfast request before being led to the gallows.

Title: Re: Retirement
Post by Melissa on Dec 16^th, 2005, 1:20pm

screw that, give me the damn golf club...

Title: Re: Retirement
Post by E-Double on Dec 16^th, 2005, 2:09pm

Gotta an extra room for up here if ya wanna become a Yankee ;)

Good Stuff [smiley=laugh.gif]

Joanna would literally break my nose! [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Retirement
Post by BarbaraD on Dec 16^th, 2005, 2:15pm

on 12/16/05 at 13:20:19, Melissa wrote:

screw that, give me the damn golf club...

Ditto

RIP Saint Jimi

Next convention your saintly a$$ belongs to the girls.......

Title: Re: Retirement
Post by alienspacebabe on Dec 16^th, 2005, 2:28pm

Dear Tide:

I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it ever since the beginning of my married life, when my Mom told me it was the best.

Now that I am older and my husband, Jimi, has retired, I find it is even better. In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse.

My unfeeling and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was, and generally started to become a pain in the neck - a not uncommon experience since his retirement.

One thing led to another and I ended up with a lot of Jimi's blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out.

After a quick trip to the supermarket and got a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out!

In fact, the stains came out so well that some detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests were negative and my attorney said that I would no longer be considered a suspect!

I thank you, once again, for having such a great product. Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people.

Signed,

Ruthie, widow of the retired Jimi

Title: Re: Retirement
Post by Wendy on Dec 16^th, 2005, 2:58pm

If I were Ruthie I know there's something I wouldn't be doing much of anymore ::)

an't love grand

You two love birds ;)

Title: Re: Retirement
Post by LeLimey on Dec 16^th, 2005, 3:02pm

LIZZIE LMAO.. too bloody brilliant! [smiley=laugh.gif]

Hey Jimi.. boy have you crashed and burned neener neener neener!! :P

Title: Re: Retirement
Post by Langa on Dec 16^th, 2005, 3:08pm

Yes, Indeed...Ruthie and I will need to sit and talk a while when she comes to NY ::)

Langa

Title: Re: Retirement
Post by pattik on Dec 16^th, 2005, 3:11pm

When we say your a$$ is grass, we're not referring to the grass stains you won't be getting out of your clothes with the Tide ;;D ;;D

Title: Re: Retirement
Post by BobG on Dec 16^th, 2005, 5:27pm

Geeze!
Gentleman Jim comes and tells a little story of helping his lovely bride and ya'll wimmins get yer panties in a bunch. Ruthie ain't complainin', is she?. She's probably happy to be able to get out of the house now that Jimi is there to care for the place.

Wimmin....ya can't live with'em and ya can't live with'em.

Title: Re: Retirement
Post by nani on Dec 16^th, 2005, 7:13pm

Remember that scene in the old Frankenstein movie, where the villagers were storming at the monster, with torches and weapons?
Milwaukee, July...
I've got Ruthie's golf club all picked out... http://bestsmileys.com/evil/3.gif

Title: Re: Retirement
Post by Jonny on Dec 16^th, 2005, 7:19pm

JIMI RULES!! [smiley=thumbsup.gif]

Title: Re: Retirement
Post by BlueMeanie on Dec 16^th, 2005, 8:31pm

Sounds like you got a pretty nice retirement there Jimi. Good for you. [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Retirement
Post by broomhilda on Dec 16^th, 2005, 9:24pm

I heard that this is on Ruthies Christmas list ;;D

http://www.loc.gov/exhibits/bobhope/images/vc160.jpg

Title: Re: Retirement
Post by Jasmyn on Dec 17^th, 2005, 1:09am

O, Jimi, you are gonna retire again by the sound of things ;)

Title: Re: Retirement
Post by Charlie on Dec 17^th, 2005, 3:09am

http://www.my-smileys.de/smileys2/90_2.gif?SSImageQuality=Full http://www.netsync.net/users/charlies/gifs/neat point.gif

Enjoy it while you last Jimi.

Charlie

Title: Re: Retirement
Post by zwibbs/Scott on Dec 17^th, 2005, 3:14am

Maybe you aren't a cluster sufferer, but instead suffer from head wounds .

Title: Re: Retirement
Post by Cerberus on Dec 17^th, 2005, 10:59am

And to Ruthie,

I already know whats on your Christmas list... what I need to know is which accessories do you prefer?

Hollow Point?
Steel Jacketed?
Or Armor Piercing?
Triple Ought?
Sabot slug?
Or 4 shot?

If these wont work with your Gift then I ask (since I want to get the sizing right...

Millimeter or Centimeter? If the Latter pls advise on wheight and timing preference.

With love,
'Bus

As for Jimi's Gift, do you prefer your body armor in Olive Drab, Black, or the old standard Blue-Grey? And please let me know if you require a Helmet.

Holla, from a distance please. ;)

'Bus

Title: Re: Retirement
Post by Linda_Howell on Dec 17^th, 2005, 11:50am

I'm taking up a collection for Ruths bail fund after she is arrested for Justifiable Homicide.

Linda

Title: Re: Retirement
Post by LeLimey on Dec 17^th, 2005, 12:03pm

Well in that case I'll make sure she get's an all female jury ;;D

Title: Re: Retirement
Post by Grandma_Sweet_Boy on Dec 17^th, 2005, 12:16pm

And that, your Honour - is why the lovely lady killed him!

Case Dismissed! ;;D