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        New Message Board Archives >> 2005 Cluster Headache Specific Posts >> In a rut
        
(Message started by: Kim Y. on Oct 13^th, 2005, 5:09am)

Title: In a rut
Post by Kim Y. on Oct 13^th, 2005, 5:09am

Not wanting to complain again just need help getting out of this rut. Been really hesitant to type this message because all I have done lately is complain. I'm ready to be me again is that possible.
Its been 7days this beast has been considerably worse never truley has gone away. Yesturday I had reached my limit the shadow was so severe that I just want to die I had 2-3 hits yesturday O2 not working the last two days and have had to dose with Trex I have tried 2mg dosing and have had go for another 2mg because that didn't help. Yesturday had to do 4mg as well. Today getting the same pain that I started out yesturday with. Things wouldn't be so bad but today I go to clinicals and will be caring for a sick baby and won't have time for this crap.
Some times I don't even think it is all the pain but more the school and running away to take a shot and so on. I am embarrassed of myself. Also feeling really depressed these days and irritable from the whole thing.
Today I will go in and put on my fake smile and all will be ok when it comes to others.
I take Verap. 120mg at night. What next can anyone give me some advice? Not yet willing to try the morning glories or shrooms sorry but I can't. I am glad for you that get relief but it just isn't for me.

I know that I am not alone here and many feel the same if not worse. I pray for you all and send out vibes to you as well.

Ok I have done it again sorry sorry sorry. Kim

Title: Re: In a rut
Post by jcmquix on Oct 13^th, 2005, 5:13am

I don't know if you have tried the Melatonin... but it even seemed to help reduce my daytime hits, when I took it at night before bed.

I thought it was just worth a try...

Hope you get some PF time soon

In my Thought's & Prayer's

God Bless Ya & PFDAN's
Charlie

Title: Re: In a rut
Post by AussieBrian on Oct 13^th, 2005, 5:17am

Know exactly how you feel, mate. Just the sheer bloody frustration.

Try putting a little badge on your shirt - "This smile is a recording".

Title: Re: In a rut
Post by Kim Y. on Oct 13^th, 2005, 5:19am

Quote:

Posted by: jcmquix Posted on: Today at 4:13am
I don't know if you have tried the Melatonin

Been taking that a lot lately just to sleep at night with the Verap. Not really helping for the day time stuff. :-/ :'( But thanks for trying. Kim

Title: Re: In a rut
Post by Kim Y. on Oct 13^th, 2005, 5:23am

Posted by: AussieBrian
Quote:

Try putting a little badge on your shirt - "This smile is a recording".

I like that one.
So hard for me not to smile for my patients each needing that caring look in their nurses eye you know.

Title: Re: In a rut
Post by Jasmyn on Oct 13^th, 2005, 6:09am

Kim, you are, even in your condition a great supporter to me.

There is nothing wrong with venting here as it gets a bit of the stuff that you can't say at home/work of your chest.

And we listen and we understand.

Quote:

Some times I don't even think it is all the pain but more the school and running away to take a shot and so on. I am embarrassed of myself. Also feeling really depressed these days and irritable from the whole thing.

This is just the normal self-doubt we go through because of the frustration, guilt, pain, depression and tiredness. You don't have to be embarassed. I can tell you most of us go through this, if not all.

Stop saying sorry, we are family.

Vibes to you and a big bear hug. [smiley=hug.gif]

Cliché I know but very true:
"I feel your pain girl" ;;D

Title: Re: In a rut
Post by marlinsfan on Oct 13^th, 2005, 7:35am

Kim, so sorry you're hurting. I'm one of the lucky ones who gets relief from caffeine. Have you tried that? Starbucks Espresso Shots (in a can, you drink it cold/room temp) work very weel for me. Red bull does not cause of the citric acid in it.

I drink it at the first sign of a daytime hit if I'm not near my O2. If after 5-7 mins that doesn't work, I reach for trex, but it most always works for me.

And Jas is right, you've supported me (and many others) plenty here, so let us help you, OK?

PF wishes.
Jose

Title: Re: In a rut
Post by nani on Oct 13^th, 2005, 7:39am

Kim, 120 mgs of verap is not enough for CH. Most take upwards of 480 mgs a day. The melatonin will help night hits and perhaps you could sip on Red Bull or strong coffee for shadows.
PF wishes, nani

Title: Re: In a rut
Post by Langa on Oct 13^th, 2005, 7:56am

Quote:

Kim, 120 mgs of verap is not enough for CH. Most take upwards of 480 mgs a day.

I was thinking the same thing Kim. Have you spoken to your doctor? Perhaps he needs to adjust the dosage on the Verap.

Hope today is better day luv.

Langa

Title: Re: In a rut
Post by seasonalboomer on Oct 13^th, 2005, 8:10am

Kim,

Sorry to hear you're feeling badly. The heads are bad enough, but the "life" part gets hard in the throws of it all. I find that my only way out of the deep down doldrums is to force myself to do a few "good" things for me. Last bad cycle, it was just some good old fashioned ice cream (no fat free, no low-carb crap, just the good stuff). Not a binge mind you, but just enough to just relax with something real for a few minutes that didn't remind me of how shitty I felt things were going. Last so-so cycle it was trying to schedule a couple things that I would do that made me feel as though my life was still going on normally, if only for an hour. (of course had to plan an out if the beast came knocking). You gotta take care of yourself, your mind and spirit as well to fight the beast effectively.

good luck and pain free wishes to you.

scott

Title: Re: In a rut
Post by lonedog on Oct 13^th, 2005, 8:15am

HI KIM,

Two weeks ago I had infusions of DHE after being in a session since June 5th. I have had these things for about 40yrs and this really worked. I have not even had a shadow since. The site doesn't give much info on DHE but my DR. researched it and recommended I try the treatment. It does'nt take much time and they are completely gone. If you are interested send me an email and I will give you the whole procedure rather than clutter up the site. GOOD LUCK...VERN

Title: Re: In a rut
Post by Kim Y. on Oct 13^th, 2005, 4:36pm

Posted by: nani
Quote:

Kim, 120 mgs of verap is not enough for CH.

Have a doctors appt. here in the next few weeks will look into and increase on the Verap. Hope this helps.

Quote:

Posted by: marlinsfan Posted on: Today at 6:35am
Kim, so sorry you're hurting. I'm one of the lucky ones who gets relief from caffeine. Have you tried that? Starbucks Espresso Shots (in a can, you drink it cold/room temp) work very well for me.

In most cases this caffeine works for me as well coffee of
course but the last 4-5 days haven't helped much at all. That is why the rut.

Posted by: seasonalboomer Posted on: Today at 7:10am
Quote:

I find that my only way out of the deep down doldrums is to force myself to do a few "good" things for me.

Monday and Tuesday Movies. Tuesday day off.

Thanks for some great advise will continue to try them all and try a new order on the Verap. Thanks again for all the replies... [smiley=hug.gif]

PFDAN.......Kim