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Topic: HI ya'll!! Newbie supporter here.... (Read 669 times) |
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calgirl1
New Board Newbie
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
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HI ya'll!! Newbie supporter here....
« on: Oct 29th, 2005, 2:41am » |
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Well hello and thanks a million for existing in the first freakin place. My husband Thomas is a "cluster-head". When he was first diagnosed I was relieved that he didn't have a brain tumor or something. He suffered for months in silence thinking all he had was terrible headaches. After much cajoling he decided to see a doctor. His doctor wasn't much help, but the internet was. He was able to self diagnose online and now has a prescription for oxygen, imitrex and another couple meds, I can barely keep track.
I thought when he knew what was wrong he would relax a bit, but instead being a clusterhead has CONSUMED his life. He has made a few friends online that suffer from the same condition and it seems he cant wait to run to the computer after work to chat with them. Before he knew what clusters were he used to talk to me about them, he used to cry with me. Now he has the attitude that I dont understand and can never understand. I am non-existent in his support system and whenever hes in a cycle, I cant reach him. He runs to his online friends as soon as the "beast" leaves.
I know my husband is in pain. I know I can't fathom how horrible a cluster headache feels. But i want to try. He's convinced that his happiness,his sadness, and everything in between is only worthy of fellow sufferers. He's let this condidtion take over his life and alienate him from his family.I'm here because you're the only site I've found that has a supporters corner. I need advice from sufferers and supporters......
Are clusters really so bad, that one can only relate to other sufferers?? When my husband tells me the best part of his day it is only after other sufferers have been updated.
I am tired of seeing him hurt, I wish I could take it from him...but are other sufferers the only thing worth living for???
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AussieBrian
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Got beer?
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Re: HI ya'll!! Newbie supporter here....
« Reply #1 on: Oct 29th, 2005, 2:57am » |
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If you're looking for sympathy, Cal, you've got it. By the bucket-load. I'm the first to admit that CH can be all-consuming but just give it a little time. See how it sorts itself out.
Either way, you're in the right place now and welcome aboard.
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Vulcrania horrendus - twice daily, then two at night in lieu of sleep.
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zanychef
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i'm busting with a masx cant really go wrong can i
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Re: HI ya'll!! Newbie supporter here....
« Reply #2 on: Oct 29th, 2005, 3:07am » |
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welcome aboard cal 
yes clusters can be all consuming that your partner isnt telling you anything now sucks but maybe he is just trying not to 'dump' all of the bad stuf on you anymore 
when i first found here i was a bit like him and my (then) partner didnt like it one little bit,try explaining that although you find it good that he has his buddies online that you still want to help and that clusters are a part of YOUR life too!!
you have found a good place to 'vent' ask for advice or read read read about the condition
you support us (the sufferers) we support you(the supporters)
zany
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plenty of time to sleep now me headaches aint too bad
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E-Double
CH.com Alumnus
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Are we ourselves?
  
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Re: HI ya'll!! Newbie supporter here....
« Reply #3 on: Oct 29th, 2005, 5:36am » |
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Yup they are "that bad" BUT he needs to get a grip and prioritize. You are his world or should be.
I honestly went through it too as did/do many.'
When you go so long witout knowing anyone and being alienated for your pain you sometimes alienate those around you inadvertantly.
Talk to him.
E
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I can't believe that I have to bang my
Head against this wall again
But the blows they have just a little more
Space in-between them
Gonna take a breath and try again.
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unsolved1
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Re: HI ya'll!! Newbie supporter here....
« Reply #4 on: Oct 29th, 2005, 11:02am » |
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Yes, they are that bad ! Also try visiting "Supporters Corner" to communicate with other supporters.
Goodluck
UNsolved
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LeLimey
CH.com Alumnus
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OUCH-US - Less "ME" and more "WE"
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Re: HI ya'll!! Newbie supporter here....
« Reply #5 on: Oct 29th, 2005, 2:56pm » |
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Hi CalGirl and welcome!
I'm the clusterhead in our house and yes I can see exactly where you are coming from however for me David (my husband) is the one I talk to first and foremost.. yes the people here all understand "the pain" but he understands me (God help him!) and we got together before me and the beast that is CH did.
You are as important here as he is, I for one know I'd be up the creek without a paddle without my husband as, wonderful as the online support is, its not in MY house and he is!
Get him to come and post here, when he sees how much we all value our supporters and all supporters it might knock some sense in!
I have to say though that on the whole, and this isn't meant as a dig at any men (for once!) that women are better at communicating their feelings than men. Its probably alot easier for him to sit at the PC and tell faceless people how he feels than it is for him to tell you because he may just feel guilty about the pain he knows you are going through seeing him suffer. You and I know that he is being daft, thats what happens when you are in a relationship but he is a mere male and needs to be coaxed, prodded and bashed into communicating his finer feelings!
You come and vent here whenever you like, we'll listen and help you out, we'll do our best to make you laugh and help you get through the cycle too 
Thank you for caring enough to come and find answers too.. that makes you a very special lady in my book and very welcome to join the other FANTASTIC ladies here!
Take care
Helen X
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Jasmyn
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Re: HI ya'll!! Newbie supporter here....
« Reply #6 on: Oct 29th, 2005, 3:27pm » |
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Welcome Catgirl.
Like the others said, you found the right place for YOU and hubby!
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Jazz 
Madness is proclaimed by society’s inability to accept its own infallibility
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DennyM
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Re: HI ya'll!! Newbie supporter here....
« Reply #7 on: Oct 30th, 2005, 1:00am » |
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Oh Calgirl! I understand all too well where you're at. I'm Aussie Brian's supporter and yes - we've been in just the same situation. When Brian first discovered CH.com we were living in Cairns and didn't have a computer at home. This meant visiting an internet cafe and logging in for maybe an hour or two at a time.
When I joined Brian up here on Dauan Island it seemed like he was at the computer (which, for the moment - owing to lack of space - is in our bedroom), glued to this site at every available moment - sometimes even booting me out of the way when I was in the middle work-related stuff. Suddenly I felt superfluous! A "CH.com widow", if you like.
Well, my dear - if you can't beat 'em - join 'em! I too, now spend a lot of time here and it's really astounding the things I've managed to learn about CH, just reading and reading. There are things that will break your heart, and there are things that will make you laugh out loud - or sometimes just give you the warm fuzzies. One thing's for sure though, the love and encouragement these peolpe - sufferers and supporters alike - have for each other is absolutely unconditional. We really are family.
Be patient with your man. Things will settle - particularly once you begin to get to know people. You'll soon find that you and your husband have quite a lot to talk to each other about as your understanding of the nature of the Beast broadens and you no longer have that feeling of groping around in the dark in search of answers.
PF days and nights to your man. You are both in my prayers.
Denny
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calgirl1
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I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
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Re: HI ya'll!! Newbie supporter here....
« Reply #8 on: Oct 30th, 2005, 7:30pm » |
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on Oct 29th, 2005, 3:27pm, Jasmyn wrote:Welcome Catgirl.
Like the others said, you found the right place for YOU and hubby! |
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Well actually my husband is here!! This is his home away from home as it were. After my first post seeing all the supportive and kind posts I can see why he spends so much time here.
Thanks guys for the posts...
Pf wishes
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Jonny
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Re: HI ya'll!! Newbie supporter here....
« Reply #9 on: Oct 30th, 2005, 7:41pm » |
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on Oct 30th, 2005, 7:30pm, calgirl1 wrote:Well actually my husband is here!!
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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marlinsfan
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Re: HI ya'll!! Newbie supporter here....
« Reply #10 on: Oct 31st, 2005, 12:20pm » |
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on Oct 30th, 2005, 7:41pm, Jonny wrote:
Right question! Who is he? We need to set him straight !
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