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Topic: Morons, et al (Read 361 times) |
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deltadarlin
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Morons, et al
« on: Dec 21st, 2006, 7:39pm » |
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8 MORONS OF 2006
1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received
a $26 mllion severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland CA spent two hours attempting to
subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After fing ten tear gas canisters, officers
discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up!"
3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka KS Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"
6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING???
A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart." "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"
7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!
In Modesto CA , Steven RichardKing was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (Hellooooooo!)
8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer down on Lake
Isabella, located in the high desert an hour east of Bakersfield CA , some folks new to boating were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was aughing so hard. (NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE.) Under the boat, still strapped securely in place ... was the trailer.
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If it weren't for the gutter, y mind would be homeless.
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Jonny
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Re: Morons, et al
« Reply #1 on: Dec 21st, 2006, 8:20pm » |
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Now thats fuckin funny.....LMMFAO 
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
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Charlie
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Re: Morons, et al
« Reply #2 on: Dec 21st, 2006, 8:44pm » |
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Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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FramCire
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Re: Morons, et al
« Reply #3 on: Dec 21st, 2006, 9:07pm » |
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Unfortunately all of the above except #1 were about me.
DANG!
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You've overstayed your welcome since the day we met but it doesn't seem to matter to you. No medications are your master, nothing makes you fret, it's a helpless feeling having nothing I can do
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Kevin_M
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withered branches grow green again.
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Re: Morons, et al
« Reply #4 on: Dec 21st, 2006, 9:54pm » |
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on Dec 21st, 2006, 7:39pm, deltadarlin wrote:| So one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was aughing so hard. (NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE.) Under the boat, still strapped securely in place ... was the trailer. |
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I'd have been choking up water too.
eager couple to give'r a go after unhooking it from their Tacoma they left on shore.
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