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New Message Board Archives >> 2006 General Board Posts >> Stuff I lernt here
(Message started by: BobG on Jan 3rd, 2006, 4:02pm)

Title: Stuff I lernt here
Post by BobG on Jan 3rd, 2006, 4:02pm
1. Life is sexually transmitted.

2. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

3. Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and he won't bother you for weeks.

4. Some people are like Slinkies ..... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

5. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

6. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

7. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

8. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

9. In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

10. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

Title: Re: Stuff I lernt here
Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Jan 3rd, 2006, 4:05pm
One other thing not on your list.
----------
If your parents don't have any kids, you won't either.......

Title: Re: Stuff I lernt here
Post by Phil L on Jan 3rd, 2006, 4:55pm
Today's America:

If at first you don't succeed,
It's always somebody elses fault.

Title: Re: Stuff I lernt here
Post by aprilbee on Jan 3rd, 2006, 5:10pm
[smiley=laugh.gif] needed a smile more than you know!  

Title: Re: Stuff I lernt here
Post by BarbaraD on Jan 3rd, 2006, 5:40pm
:) ;;D :P [smiley=laugh.gif]

Thanks Bob -- I needed that today......

Hugs BD

Title: Re: Stuff I lernt here
Post by Guiseppi on Jan 3rd, 2006, 8:45pm
If at first you don't succeed....don't try sky diving!

Guiseppi

Title: Re: Stuff I lernt here
Post by AussieBrian on Jan 3rd, 2006, 8:56pm

on 01/03/06 at 16:02:12, BobG wrote:
2. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.


Wall poster in a maternity suite:   "The first 3 minutes of life are the most dangerous."

Neatly hand-written beneath:   "The last 3 minutes can be a bit dodgy, too."

Title: Re: Stuff I lernt here
Post by Mr. Happy on Jan 4th, 2006, 1:55am
http://mushys.com/despair/incompetence.jpeg

Title: Re: Stuff I lernt here
Post by sandie99 on Jan 4th, 2006, 6:24am
;;D

Title: Re: Stuff I lernt here
Post by TomM on Jan 4th, 2006, 9:53am
Cheese and Rice, Bob! I don't need this synicism. Now go about your life...and don't bogart the O2.
TomM  :)

Title: Re: Stuff I lernt here
Post by imnotbub on Jan 4th, 2006, 10:54am
My favorite is

The average person does not have average intelligence.

Title: Re: Stuff I lernt here
Post by Charlie on Jan 4th, 2006, 3:12pm
You can fool some of the people all of the time and you can fool all of the people some of the time but you can't fool all of the people all of the time unless you try real hard. http://www.netsync.net/users/charlies/gifs/scales.gif

Charlie

Title: Re: Stuff I lernt here
Post by Ghost on Jan 4th, 2006, 3:21pm
No matter what point you give even if fact someone will argue with you.

Title: Re: Stuff I lernt here
Post by seasonalboomer on Jan 4th, 2006, 3:27pm

on 01/04/06 at 15:21:27, Ghost wrote:
No matter what point you give even if fact someone will argue with you.


Will not!


;)

scott

Title: Re: Stuff I lernt here
Post by Ghost on Jan 4th, 2006, 3:30pm

on 01/04/06 at 15:27:02, seasonalboomer wrote:
Will not!


;)

scott

[smiley=spit.gif] [smiley=oops.gif]

[smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Stuff I lernt here
Post by BarbaraD on Jan 4th, 2006, 3:57pm
Will too!



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