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        New Message Board Archives >> 2006 General Board Posts >> Just lost my best friend. (not dead just lost)
        
(Message started by: Mattrf on Dec 20th, 2006, 1:58pm)
Title: Just lost my best friend. (not dead just lost)
Post by Mattrf on Dec 20th, 2006, 1:58pm
I have been fighting this cycle of SUNCT for a year now, one of the hardest parts has been getting family and friends that don’t live near me to understand.
I have tried over and over but just get flack about how I don’t come visit or cal, you know the routine. I just got an email from my best friend who lives a little over an hour away, he tells me that he went out to dinner with my sister and her husband on Sunday and got to thinking that he needed to tell me that he got married a few months ago, WTF!

This guy was my best man four years ago and he doesn’t even tell me he got married? He said they wanted it to just be the two of them in Vegas but her mom came and they had a couple friends there but it was very small and they wanted to keep it quite. I can understand that and would have respected his wishes but to not tell me and then to tell me in an email like it was an after thought months later?
I know I have not been the best of friends and have only seen him a few times in the last couple years but it was because of all the medical problems I have had and have tried to make that very clear, I have told him many times how I miss hanging out with him and wish I was up to doing the drive and hanging out but that it was hard enough to just get through a day.
He was my best friend, and it makes me very sad to be treated like this by him, I guess there is no true way to get them to understand the hell we call our lives. If they did they would never be this way, like I wasn’t depressed enough today.

Sorry for being a downer guys, just feel like I just lost my best friend but the truth is I probably lost him a long time ago, it just hit home is all.

Matt

:'(
Title: Re: Just lost my best friend. (not dead just lost)
Post by LeLimey on Dec 20th, 2006, 2:09pm
Matt hon I'm sorry, I've lost count of the number of friends I've lost in the past few years and it hurts. You deserve better, its HIS loss and you'll always have us  :)
Title: Re: Just lost my best friend. (not dead just lost)
Post by The mad viking on Dec 20th, 2006, 2:11pm
:'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: Just lost my best friend. (not dead just lost)
Post by kimmiedawn81 on Dec 20th, 2006, 2:33pm
Matt, I've noticed the same thing about one person that I thought was my best friend.  I've realized though that sometimes you have to "break up" with friends.  Sometimes that's just how it goes, but I totally understand what you're going through.
Title: Re: Just lost my best friend. (not dead just lost)
Post by Charlie on Dec 20th, 2006, 3:54pm
Sorry about that Matt.

Look in on him from time to time though. I lost one several years ago and finally reconnected through his wife. He has depression from hell and until he takes his pills, not a lot can be done.

We drank a lot of Bud over the years.

Good luck Matt.

Charlie
Title: Re: Just lost my best friend. (not dead just lost)
Post by Opus on Dec 20th, 2006, 4:07pm
Been there, done that,

Only he never told me I found out through rumors.

The only best friends I have left are the ones here. Sorry to hear your in the same boat.

Paul
Title: Re: Just lost my best friend. (not dead just lost)
Post by brewcrew on Dec 20th, 2006, 4:34pm
The day I'll say "I lost my best friend" is the day my bride dies before me, God forbid. Everyone else is second tier.

Sorry to hear of your loss, Matt. I had a friend who has travelled a similar path, except he and his wife are headed off into eternal bliss with some non-denominational church. Apparently friends from their previous life aren't welcome unless they become members.

Screw 'em.
Title: Re: Just lost my best friend. (not dead just lost)
Post by alienspacebabe on Dec 21st, 2006, 12:40am
It hurts like hell when you lose a really good friend. Sorry you're going through this....
Title: Re: Just lost my best friend. (not dead just lost)
Post by Redd715 on Dec 21st, 2006, 10:40am
This happened to me as well after my Mother passed away.  Between having to make the final arrangements, having 2 brothers and a nephew staying with me and the kids in my small 2 bedroom apartment, and my head exploding on regular basis, I guess my best friend Sue was a bit put off that I wasn't on the phone to her seeking her shoulder, and keeping her informed of all the plans.  I put the notice in the paper..all she needed to do was read it, I had my hands pretty well full.
Title: Re: Just lost my best friend. (not dead just lost)
Post by B14CK5H33P on Dec 21st, 2006, 1:55pm
I've lost some friends over the years. I've gained a few great friends as well.
Recently, I had to kick an old friend to the curb who did nothing but make me miserable and tear me down constantly. THAT is not a friend. That is a target for a boot to the ass out the door - and he pushed me too far one day and got it.

I'm sorry for how you feel though. I have lost some friends and it hurt alot so I can relate.

Stay Hard,
Carl D
Title: Re: Just lost my best friend. (not dead just lost)
Post by Linda_Howell on Dec 21st, 2006, 2:39pm

Matt, I, too am sorry.  FOR HIM.  He lost a true friend.

 
Quote:
wish I was up to doing the drive


Too bad he couldn't have taken the effort to come visit YOU.

Linda
Title: Re: Just lost my best friend. (not dead just lost)
Post by Tata on Dec 21st, 2006, 3:16pm
I don't know you Matt, but I know exactly what you're going through. I had a best friend for over 20 years and we've totally drifted apart--some of it my fault, some of it hers. No matter what happens, when it ends it hurts. I contacted her recently because she's having major health problems--but it will never be the same. But maybe that's OK--relationships change and evolve, just like the rest of our lives do. Reach out to him when you feel up to it. Maybe it won't be exactly the same, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. I hope everything works out for you. Take care.....
Title: Re: Just lost my best friend. (not dead just lost)
Post by Sandy_C on Dec 21st, 2006, 4:40pm
Matt,

It hurts to lose a good friend, especially someone who you considered to be the best friend.  

Remember, nothing in life remains the same.  Everything is always changing and evolving.  This does not excuse your friend, but it's just life.

Take the high road.  Swallow your hurt, and wish him well in his marriage.  Don't count on him to be there for you should you need him in the future, but don't burn the bridge either.  Who know what the future may bring?

We may not be your best friends, but we are your friends, and we're always here for you.

Sandy
Title: Re: Just lost my best friend. (not dead just lost)
Post by Jonny on Dec 21st, 2006, 10:23pm
WAHHHH, people leave your life....get use to it, damn it!
Title: Re: Just lost my best friend. (not dead just lost)
Post by Ree on Dec 21st, 2006, 11:05pm
sorry Matt...

jonny..... sheesh... cut the guy some slack...not everyone has a billion and one friends like you...love ree
Title: Re: Just lost my best friend. (not dead just lost)
Post by Mattrf on Dec 22nd, 2006, 11:11am

on 12/21/06 at 22:23:57, Jonny wrote:
WAHHHH, people leave your life....get use to it, damn it!


Thanks Ree.

Jonny it's crap like this that people talk about when they say where's the compassion here. I normally like your input but dam dude if you don't have anything nice to say to a brother in pain that is sharing pain of another kind then please shut the hell up.
I don't normally reply to the negative posts but dam dude, can you be any colder at Christmas?

Ok I am done replying to negative posts so if you do it again don't expect a reply from me.

Matt
Title: Re: Just lost my best friend. (not dead just lost)
Post by Shedz on Dec 22nd, 2006, 11:46am
It's never a good time to loose anyone, whether they be family or friends. We still here for ya chap [smiley=thumb.gif]
Title: Re: Just lost my best friend. (not dead just lost)
Post by Richr8 on Dec 22nd, 2006, 1:46pm
Sorry to hear Matt.  Yours is not such an uncommon stoyr among CHers.
I feel your pain.  


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