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Topic: The Cheesehead Night Before Christmas (Read 1795 times) |
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alienspacebabe
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The Cheesehead Night Before Christmas
« on: Dec 24th, 2007, 3:19pm » |
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by Fred Lane and Romey Wagner
(The book is awesome - especially the illustrations that go with them. www.CheeseNQuackers.com)
Twas the night before Christmas
Wit' the northern lights all a glow,
And the wind chill kept droppen
Pass'd minus forty below
Cause down from the Nort' Pole,
Even up nort' of Dulut',
Came a glacial cold blast
"Yah' der hey, that's the trut'".
When momma with her kerchief
And I with my sash,
Just headed home from the
"Our Lady of the Rosary" fish fry...and polka mass.
After a stop over by Culer's
Fur dem butterburgers n' custard,
We bot' walked kinda slow
Faces cover'd wit' mustard.
While little Ollie dreamed of
Fried curds and confections,
Little Lena spun round to Neal Zunker
And the Music Connection!
The boots were all lined up
Side by each at the fireplace wit care,
In hopes dat a ball signed by Brett Fabre
Would soon join then d'ere.
(And a visit from ole' Brett-e-claus himself wouldn't be bad eid'er.)
Then momma wit' her brats
And I wit' my beer,
Sat down our favorite
Team for to cheer!
When out by the milk parlor
Came the guldarndest clatter,
Like Aunt Bea on thin ice -
Only bigger...n' fatter.
When I looked out my front door
To see what was the matter,
My nose hairs got froze,
and my teeth 'gan ta' ch...ch...chatter.
Cuz through the ice shanties
And a comin' our way,
Were eight Merry Milkers
Just a pullin' a sleigh!
And a little ole' yah-hee
Wit' a carrot n' stick,
But I figured it out,
De ole' guy was St. Nick.
Well faster and faster
Dem ole' hay burners dey came!
And he whistled...an' he hollered
And he called dem by name;
"Hey der Bessy! n' Elsie!
n' Buttercup! n' Mable!
On Methinator! n' Maude!
n' Trixey! n' Sable!"
"When we get to the farmhouse,
Yous guy's best be mind'in,
Don't leave 'em no messes
For me to be find'in".
And lighting the way
Twice as big as a truck,
Was a beautiful, and antler-ful,
A Monster-ful Buck!
Santa budged down de chimney
Wit' dem flames burnin bright,
And landed all cock-eyed
Which kinda' gave me a fright!
He sprung from the fireplace
In a huge Lambeau Leap,
Out on to the floor
And into a heap.
As he hit he yelled out
"Holy cats! Geeze oh' Pete!
Dat fire burn'd a hole
In the back of my seat!"
He was dressed in red and blaze orange,
Trimmed in gold with some green,
And on the top of his mellon
A cheesehead was seen.
His icicled chin whiskers
Clankity clanked when he walked,
And his quiverin' belly
Kind a' shook when he talked.
He kinda look'd like a bruiser,
Might'ta play'd Badger hockey.
But not quite dat tuff,
Could of been from M'waukee.
A sack as full as Fleet Farm
Was slung 'cross his back.
He looked like a burglar
Pert-neer for a fact.
But a wink in his eye
Dat kinda said, "How's by you?"
Sooooo, I let him get goin'
He knew just what to do.
He kept his mouth shut
And he got on to his work.
He emptied his sack
And he turned with a jerk.
D'en he unthawed beside us
For the rest of the game
An' the Pack won it easy!
No room d'ere to complain.
While all the cows waited
Outside of the house,
And made sure ta be quiet
Like a little church mouse!
As the fire died down
Toward the chimney he strode,
Wit' some brats, and some smelt,
An' a couple two-tree snack's for the road.
Don't ya know, his sleight look'd lots lighter
as he buckled in for his flight.
But he was headed for Illinois,
so I guess dat's all right!
Then I heard him shout loud
as he swerved out of sight;
"Have some good Christmas cheer!
And ta' you's guys...hey...a Good Night!"
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artonio7
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Re: The Cheesehead Night Before Christmas
« Reply #1 on: Dec 24th, 2007, 3:30pm » |
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Good Christmas Cheer to you as well Liz!!!
with warm regards,
Tony
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Hope! http://artonio7.com
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For artwork
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Mosaicwench
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Find joy in your day
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Re: The Cheesehead Night Before Christmas
« Reply #2 on: Dec 24th, 2007, 3:36pm » |
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As he hit he yelled out
"Holy cats! Geeze oh' Pete!
Dat fire burn'd a hole
In the back of my seat!"
Geeze oh Pete it was great to see you dis mornin!!
Thanks for the giggle - and the wreath!!!
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The difficulties of life are intended to make us better, not bitter. ~Author Unknown
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deltadarlin
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Re: The Cheesehead Night Before Christmas
« Reply #3 on: Dec 24th, 2007, 3:39pm » |
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Bout near as good as Cajun Night Before Christmas (helluva lot easier to understand) 
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If it weren't for the gutter, y mind would be homeless.
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Jimi
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Re: The Cheesehead Night Before Christmas
« Reply #4 on: Dec 24th, 2007, 3:45pm » |
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You people talk so funny. 
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alienspacebabe
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Re: The Cheesehead Night Before Christmas
« Reply #5 on: Dec 24th, 2007, 4:33pm » |
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on Dec 24th, 2007, 3:45pm, Jimi wrote:| You people talk so funny. |
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yaderhey!
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Brew
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Re: The Cheesehead Night Before Christmas
« Reply #6 on: Dec 24th, 2007, 4:41pm » |
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on Dec 24th, 2007, 3:45pm, Jimi wrote:| You people talk so funny. |
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Hey, baldy - Come over by my house an' whistle me out so my mudder can see who I hang by.
Denn, when yer dun, trow da cow over da fence some hay once.
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Always remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.
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