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Topic: My Life In Minutes (Read 720 times) |
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retrosniffles
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My Life In Minutes
« on: Oct 9th, 2007, 5:53pm » |
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My Life In Minutes
Bits of darkness breeze across my eyes and tap the inside of my nostrils. I get a slight chill and yawn. I cross my eyes to see if I can focus on the tickle in my nose. Useless. It’s sunny outside, a warm day. I look through the window at the old clock hanging on the wall inside my kitchen. Its tail and eyes move in sequence with the passing seconds. It makes me smile while I sit on the porch in that sweet oak rocker. 5:10 the cat says, 5:10.
I feel the darkness again, this time more pronounced. They’re coming for me again. I can feel it. I can always feel them coming. Things just don’t smell right. Things don’t look the same. The desert sunset is growing purple in the distance. The ravens are starting to get restless. 5:15 the cat says, 5:15.
The birds swell in the sky. Their screams drill slowly at my eardrums. The black liquid mass of birds swirls in the darkening sky like an ocean torrent. I head for the door to escape to the sanctity of my house. The black mass hurls towards me. I make it inside and slam the door. Weight crushes against my wooden door, it creaks and cracks. The darkness won’t be fooled that easily. It knows me by now, you see, we’re old friends. The windows shatter. The black liquidy gas floats into the middle of the room observing me. I can smell it now, a bit like old pennies. Then, it strikes. At breakneck speed, it shoves into my head through my right nostril. My right eye is going to explode out of my face, me ear is bleeding through its ruptured eardrum, my molars are pushing themselves from my gums. With my left eye I see the cat. 5:20 the cat says, 5:20.
I arise from the dream and awaken to a nightmare. My hand goes to my eye in confusion. The blue light from my stereo system helps me catch my bearings though the hazy pain. I sit for a second in my bed trying to predict how bad this one will get. I look over at my girlfriend sound asleep. She has a meeting tomorrow. I’ve kept her up enough this week. I head to my almost nightly nighttime cave, the bathroom. 3:45 the clock says, 3:45.
I grab the latest migraine meds the doc gave me from the cabinet. Meds. Ha. I guess a slightly less long and muffled version of horribly brutal pain is a little better than plain old horribly brutal pain. I take the pills and spin in slow circles a bit. Lean against the cold tile shower wall. Crawl around on the floor. Sit in the corner waving my head back and forth like I’m humming the theme of happy days. I look into the bedroom. 4:00 the clock says, 4:00.
Ah, now here comes the best part. The crescendo to this symphony of agony. I don’t know how much longer it’s been, as time has slowed to the speed of a slug crawling over a mile of salt. But none the less here we are. Since the darkness has spent so much time working its way into my poor little fleshy noggin, it’s decided that it’s not suitable and must renovate! Pulling wires, smashing walls. Contractors are so careless these days. I think something has caught on fire. I let out a couple of muffled moans and want to die. But at least I think they’re almost done in there. I sit on the tile in my underwear and rock. Good solution. Slowly the pain stabbies slow in their succession and I can relax. I walk out of the bathroom exhausted from the battle. 4:30 the clock says, 4:30.
I go back to bed pretty sure that I won’t get another attack until sometime around noon tomorrow, but, you never know. My second yearly episode is hopefully half way over . I just enjoy the good hours until the next time I have to start counting minutes again.
Sorry, had a rough couple days and had to vent in the form of a story based on reality. Because writing helps me calm down. And didn't know where to post this. I know everyone has lots of pain at times. But crap, ya know?
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AussieBrian
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Re: My Life In Minutes
« Reply #1 on: Oct 9th, 2007, 10:32pm » |
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Take the battery out of the clock. Cured!!!!
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Vulcrania horrendus - twice daily, then two at night in lieu of sleep.
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PollyPocket
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Re: My Life In Minutes
« Reply #2 on: Oct 10th, 2007, 7:42am » |
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Our Brian- Master of the Obvious 
Hi retrosniffles. I count minutes too (or someone else does for me when I can't) so I understand.
What are you taking for prevent or abortive? I'm gonna ask what probably 20 other people have asked, but have you looked into o2? It took me way too long to try it, but now I know o2 can kick some serious beasty a$$. Take it from someone who spent FAR too many cycles on the bathroom floor, oxygen beats cold tile every time!
Hang in there,
Jen
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“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.” - Stacey Charter
"If I don't remember it happening, it never happened. " - Tori
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retrosniffles
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Re: My Life In Minutes
« Reply #3 on: Oct 10th, 2007, 9:48am » |
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I'm not always so sad sounding, that was a really bad night. But, I'm waiting for my neuro apointment next week to get the O2. Well hopefully he gives it to me.
If he doesn't I'll have to demand it.
Right now I only have caffeine and relpax. Which works alright sometimes.
O_o
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DennisM1045
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Re: My Life In Minutes
« Reply #4 on: Oct 18th, 2007, 11:13pm » |
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Hi Retro,
Your writing capture the assualt perfectly. Thanks for sharing it.
How did you make out on the O2 front? The stuff is worth its weight in gold. Thanks God it doesn't weigh that much 
-Dennis-
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Wayne
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Re: My Life In Minutes
« Reply #5 on: Oct 19th, 2007, 7:25am » |
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O well written Retro. I can so relate to the guessing how bad this one's going to be and just praying for a light one. I reckon that the worst part of the whole thing is the first few minutes when you feel it coming but just hope so much that you're wrong and its just going to go away!
You may want to try something to get rid of the dark or at least get yourself a flash light. Try a Redbull instead of or in conjunction with whatever caffiene tablet your using. Please don't laugh this off, if caffiene by itself is helping you then I am almost sure that hitting back a Redbull when you first feel a hit coming will kill the hit in less than 10 minutes. It does for me, every single time!
Don't laugh off the 02 either, it works. And maybe try get yourself a preventative like Verapamil or the like.
Strength to you mate, it would be very good to read one of your stories about a good day.
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A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
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sldrswyfe
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Re: My Life In Minutes
« Reply #6 on: Oct 19th, 2007, 11:01am » |
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Wow. That was amazing....dare I say "brilliant".
Very Edgar Allen Poe. Are you a professional writer. Never have I been so impressed by a CH poem...excerpt.
So true. Such perfect timing. Thankyou.
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opposition from the mediocrities." -Einstein
"I'll DIE on MY FEET, before I LIVE on MY KNEES"...thanks Jonny...that meant alot
"Oh, say does that star spangled banner yet wave?"....Your damn right it does.
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Rosybabe
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Re: My Life In Minutes
« Reply #7 on: Oct 19th, 2007, 2:24pm » |
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Hang in there Sniffles! You are not alone anymore...
we understand your pain...
Wishing you lots and lots pf pain free time...
Rosy.
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 Believing is just the beginning!
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midwestbeth
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Re: My Life In Minutes
« Reply #8 on: Oct 19th, 2007, 3:16pm » |
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Retrosniffles,
You are a gifted writer. I can relate to looking at the clock. It is always the first thing I do when I get hot/cold weird feeling in my left nostril. My ch usually last around 60-90 min. and checking the clock reminds me that time is not going to stop, but the damn ch will...........after 60-90 minutes!!
Beth
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Do more than hear - listen
Do more than listen - understand
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lorac
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Re: My Life In Minutes
« Reply #9 on: Oct 19th, 2007, 7:51pm » |
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WOW! what do you do for a living? You should be a writer for sure....Or an actor...
You have a gift there honey!
Hang in there ! pf times wished for you!!!!
lorac
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ski2k
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Re: My Life In Minutes
« Reply #10 on: Oct 24th, 2007, 5:58am » |
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I don't know how I missed this before, but it's VERY well written!! I love it!
Definately give the O2 and Red Bull a try. Well... doesn't really need to be Red Bull. Any "energy drink" with Taurine and Caffeine should do the trick. I'm one of the hard to treat people, and those two things actually work for me! Like Wayne wrote, if caffeine is helping, the energy drink will likely knock it right out!
Best wishes, and thanx for sharing! Kee us posted, ok?
Adam
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Puddleduck22
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Re: My Life In Minutes
« Reply #11 on: Oct 30th, 2007, 5:01pm » |
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wow this is really good =)
i like is..
nd yea it is crap..
but ppl on here understand =)
.x. Jay .x.
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retrosniffles
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Re: My Life In Minutes
« Reply #12 on: Oct 31st, 2007, 11:25am » |
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Hey, thank you guys. I'm not a pro writer but i do write short horror stories for online horror zines and am trying to get some published in story collections, just for fun though. I actually go to school for molecular biology.
But i did get verapamil and thats calming them down some and doesn't make my brain all wierd like the topamax. I got some 02 finally too! That stuff is effin great, but i can't carry it around all day which is lame because I'm out and about alot. They should sell stuff in whip-it containers.
Cycle is still on though, but recently the tide has turned in my direction and I'm starting to win.....I think...I hope.
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Wayne
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Re: My Life In Minutes
« Reply #13 on: Oct 31st, 2007, 12:44pm » |
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Truly, truly try a Redbull, its portable and has the potential to save you a lot of misery
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A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
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DennisM1045
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Re: My Life In Minutes
« Reply #14 on: Oct 31st, 2007, 12:47pm » |
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Hi Retro,
You should look into getting d-sized tanks. They're small enough to carry around and you'll get about one hit per tank. I carry around e-size tanks myself. I keep one in the office and one in the car. If you are walking a campus the d-sized tank probably makes more sense.
There are canvas bags available to carry the tank, mask and regulator.
-Dennis-
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