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Topic: Children..... (Read 510 times) |
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Redd
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Children.....
« on: Feb 1st, 2006, 7:57am » |
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For those with no children - this is totally hysterical...
For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control...
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas:
Things Ive learned from my Boys (honest)...
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house, 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old Boys voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all Four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesnt stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh" its already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still cant walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCRs do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
25. Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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Langa
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So many donuts, such little time...
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Re: Children.....
« Reply #1 on: Feb 1st, 2006, 1:55pm » |
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Glad Crys is beyond that age...
But she's a teenager now... 
LOL
Langa
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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imnotbub
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Re: Children.....
« Reply #2 on: Feb 2nd, 2006, 2:23pm » |
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on Feb 1st, 2006, 7:57am, Redd715 wrote:| 24. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid. |
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Is the smoke poisonous?
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Life may not be good, but I think it beats the alternative, and if it doesn't, we'll find out soon enough
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sandie99
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Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
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Re: Children.....
« Reply #3 on: Feb 6th, 2006, 11:59am » |
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 oh the things kids do... funny, when it happends to somebody else.
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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