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   Author  Topic: MEN & WOMEN  (Read 1196 times)
darknight
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Ever danced with the devil by the pale moonlight?

   


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MEN & WOMEN
« on: Apr 14th, 2008, 12:30pm »
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13 differences between men and  women?
 
 
1.  NAMES:
If Laura, Linda, Elizabeth and  Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Linda, Elizabeth  and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately  refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and  Scrappy.
 
 
2. EATING  OUT:
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each  throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50.
None of them will have  anything smaller and none will actually admit they want the change  back.
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket  calculators.
 
 
3.  MONEY:
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.  
 
 
A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item  that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
 
 
4. BATHROOMS:
A man has five items in  his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel  from the Queen Mary.
The average number of items in the typical woman's  bathroom is 337.  A man would not be able to identify most of these  items.
 
 
5.  ARGUMENTS:
A woman has the last word in any  argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new  argument.
 
 
6.  CATS:
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women  aren't looking, men kick cats.
 
 
7. FUTURE:
A woman worries about the  future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until  he gets a wife.
 
 
8.  SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his  wife can spend.  A successful woman is one who can find such a  man.
 
 
9.  MARRIAGE:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he  doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she  does.
 
 
10. DRESSING  UP:
A woman will dress up to go shopping, to water the plants,  empty the bin, answer the phone, read a book, and read the mail.
A man will  dress up for weddings and funerals.
 
 
11. NATURAL:
 
Men wake up as  good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the  night.
 
 
12.  OFFSPRING:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her  children.
She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends,  favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
 
 
13. FINAL THOUGHT:
Any married man  should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing  
 
 Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin
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mummymac
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Kissed Donny Osmond and proud of it

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Re: MEN & WOMEN
« Reply #1 on: Apr 14th, 2008, 12:35pm »
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on Apr 14th, 2008, 12:30pm, darknight wrote:
13 differences between men and  women?
 
 
 
 
11. NATURAL:
 
Men wake up as  good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the  night.
 

 
So sad but oh so true - life is unfair
 
 Grin Grin Grin Grin
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Tanya



darknight
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Great_Britain 
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Ever danced with the devil by the pale moonlight?

   


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Posts: 105
Re: MEN & WOMEN
« Reply #2 on: Apr 15th, 2008, 6:38am »
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my fav is number 5!!! Wink
 
 
 Undecided
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Callico
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Proud Dad of a US Marine!

   
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Re: MEN & WOMEN
« Reply #3 on: Apr 19th, 2008, 12:29pm »
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13 would be funny if it weren't true!!! Grin
 
Jerry
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"When He acts on the left, I cannot behold Him; He turns on the right I cannot see Him. But He knows the way that I take; when He has tried me I shall come forth as gold." Job23:9,10
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