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        Daily Chat >> General Posts >> Lord, give me the strength
        
(Message started by: BMoneeTheMoneeMan on May 22nd, 2008, 10:53am)
Title: Lord, give me the strength
Post by BMoneeTheMoneeMan on May 22nd, 2008, 10:53am
I woke up to a picture scratched into my dining room table.  
I go to the bathroom to get something, and there's shit smushed into the bathroom rug.  

My first thought is to spank her a$$ until it falls off.  Lord, give me the strength to get through this day with my daughter's ass still attached to her body.

>:(
Title: Re: Lord, give me the strength
Post by Melissa on May 22nd, 2008, 10:58am
They're THINGS B$.  Just remember that.  
Title: Re: Lord, give me the strength
Post by George_J on May 22nd, 2008, 10:59am
Some days, it just ain't easy, Brian...

I always figured that kids are born as wild animals, and the next 18 or so years is a civilizing process.  I swear, sometimes it's like trying to teach a bear to ride a bicycle.   :P

Best,

George
Title: Re: Lord, give me the strength
Post by Brew on May 22nd, 2008, 11:10am
( # of years old / 18 ) x 100 = percentage of time correct decisions are made.

Dianan should be making the right decision about one-third of the time right now. You get to show her what the right decision is the other two-thirds of the time. That is your privilege as her father.
Title: Re: Lord, give me the strength
Post by Annette on May 22nd, 2008, 11:23am

If you wake up tomorrow and find that God has answered your request by removing Dianan from your home, somehow, you will pray then for more pictures to be engraved into the finest of your furnitures and more shits on the best of your carpets.

Been there, done that !
Title: Re: Lord, give me the strength
Post by Brew on May 22nd, 2008, 11:32am

on 05/22/08 at 11:23:52, Annette wrote:
If you wake up tomorrow and find that God has answered your request by removing Dianan from your home...

I don't see where he requested that.
Title: Re: Lord, give me the strength
Post by seasonalboomer on May 22nd, 2008, 11:39am
Those will all make great embarrassing stories for you to tell her fiance' 25 years from now.

Scott
Title: Re: Lord, give me the strength
Post by cash5542 on May 22nd, 2008, 11:40am
Brew, I love your calculations! It explains why it's so hard to get my students to do the correct, logical choice! I think I may copy it and attach it to my desk!

Charlotte
Title: Re: Lord, give me the strength
Post by Brew on May 22nd, 2008, 11:44am
It's why I keep telling JrBrew that he should be making the right choice around 90% of the time now!
Title: Re: Lord, give me the strength
Post by Linda_Howell on May 22nd, 2008, 1:30pm

 
Quote:
he should be making the right choice around 90% of the time now!



    [smiley=crackup.gif]   Oh, now that is funny.  Amazing how we parents delude ourselves.  
Title: Re: Lord, give me the strength
Post by fubar on May 22nd, 2008, 1:31pm
It could be worse.  When you get fired up about these things, imagine what life would be like without her.  Imagine waking up to find, instead of shit in the carpet, no daughter.  I used to spend an inordinate amount of time getting angry at these things, then I lost my twins, and my whole perspective changed.  My children still do stupid things, but I don't let the little things bug me anymore.  We still have the big things and daddy can have a temper, but now my kids know all about consequences (what a concept).  If something like that happens, they have to deal with the aftermath and make things right (clean it up, fix it, replace it, etc.)  That has proved more effective than any rant daddy can throw.
Title: Re: Lord, give me the strength
Post by Brew on May 22nd, 2008, 1:37pm

on 05/22/08 at 13:30:08, Linda_Howell wrote:
[smiley=crackup.gif]   Oh, now that is funny.  Amazing how we parents delude ourselves.  

He's pretty much right on target.
Title: Re: Lord, give me the strength
Post by Langa on May 22nd, 2008, 3:07pm
It sure ain't easy B$.  I can't tell you how many times I screamed into a pillow to keep me from killing Crystal.  
I smacked her once and she acted like I was killing her so I never tried that again.  It's hard for a single mother with children, and it's the same thing for men.  Your daughter could be acting out too.  

Sometimes it's a good idea to have a friend or family member that can take her off your hands for a few hours when you feel you're close to losing it.  

I still admire you though.  Keep up the good work with your daughter.  You'll look back at these days years from now and probably laugh.

Hugs,
Langa

Title: Re: Lord, give me the strength
Post by BarbaraD on May 22nd, 2008, 3:15pm
Ya know, yesterday I was talking to a guy about this very thing and I went over and picked up a kid-rocking chair and tears came to my eyes (yeah yeah yeah - I can still get choked up about some things)... This was an "antique" rocker my uncle gave me in 1962 for that little "girl" I was gonna have for him (he loved little girls). Well, he was killed in a car wreck in 1963 and I never had a little girl but had a boy instead.

That little rocker went thru a little boy, assorted dogs (that explained the chewed off part on the rocker), pocket knives, and now is going thru a grandson and some more assorted dogs, tools - that's that "little" cut on the arm. But I wouldn't change a thing on it with all it's battle scars. 44 years and it's still the "favorite" chair in the house (for any little one who happens to visit).

So just smile when these things happen - someday you'll look back and remember them as "cute" and wish your little one back little again.

Oh and did I mention - it's also something to throw up at them when they're grown :D...

Hugs BD
Title: Re: Lord, give me the strength
Post by nani on May 22nd, 2008, 5:12pm
It could be worse, boo.

Give her some space, but talk to her about better ways to work out feelings. Little girls seem to love doing art... encourage her to draw how she's feeling.

You have the strength, now you're working on the patience.

hugs, nani

modified to add: Obviously, she likes art, LOL. Get her a big box of papers, crayons, markers, paint and stickers.

Art goes on the paper, not the furniture.
Title: Re: Lord, give me the strength
Post by Jackie on May 22nd, 2008, 5:24pm
Deep breath and count to 10, Sweetie.....

Kids are aliens put on this earth to drive adults NUTS!! ;)

Every day with your child is a good day....some are just better than others......

You've both been through a lot.  Things have a way of working out......it'll be OK.

Love & Hugs,
Jackie
Title: Re: Lord, give me the strength
Post by BMoneeTheMoneeMan on May 22nd, 2008, 6:52pm
Thanks, all, for your encouragement and what not.  She has been acting out a little bit.  Once in a blue moon she will get a call from Mommy and mommy tell her to get ready for 'tomorrow' cause shes gonna stop by and give her a bunch of presents and play with her and stuff.  When tomorrow comes, Dianan hasnt forgotten, but mommy has.  That really bothers her and she acts out for several days afterwards.  
This happens to be one of those times.  
On the one side, I can't let her ruin the table with no punishment....that is not teaching her the right thing.  On the other, I don't want to punish her too severely because I know she has a lot going on in her head, a lot that she doesn't understand.  
It's a fine line between allowing our situation to be an excuse for bad behavior and giving her the space she may need in her own head.  
I thought this parenting stuff was supposed to be easy   :-/
Title: Re: Lord, give me the strength
Post by Grandma_Sweet_Boy on May 22nd, 2008, 6:55pm

Quote:
I thought this parenting stuff was supposed to be easy    


I once saw a sign that said raising kids was like trying to nail Jello to a tree!

It's the hardest job in the world - little kids, little problems and then they grow up and so do the problems, but at the end of the day - it's so worth it.

You will survive and so will she. ;)

Carol
Title: Re: Lord, give me the strength
Post by deltadarlin on May 22nd, 2008, 8:16pm
Get her some counseling.  She's had a tough time and doesn't have a web board to come *vent* on and probably doesn't have the vocabulary to express all the feelings that are going through her head.  Doesn't matter how good a daddy you are, she's lost her mama and that has to have a tremendous impact on her.  Throw in the fact, that mama's a lying, manipulative byatch, and you compound the problem.

I remember when my *adopted* little sister (I helped raise her) cried for hours because her daddy didn't call on her birthday and she was a lot older.  He was more or less an absentee father for many years and she resented the hell out of it until she got much older.

And yes, she does need some sort of punishment.  Does she get an allowance?  If she does, make her pay for the cleaning stuff needed to clean the table (hopefully the scratches will buff off) and the carpet cleaner.

Carolyn
Title: Re: Lord, give me the strength
Post by Langa on May 23rd, 2008, 9:35am

Quote:
I thought this parenting stuff was supposed to be easy


HUH?  [smiley=huh.gif]

You've been lied to and deceived.  
But don't worry, we will be honest with you.

Langa
Title: Re: Lord, give me the strength
Post by Mosaicwench on May 23rd, 2008, 10:52am

on 05/22/08 at 18:52:00, BMoneeTheMoneeMan wrote:
 
I thought this parenting stuff was supposed to be easy   :-/


Nothing worthwhile is ever easy.

I feel for you B$.
Title: Re: Lord, give me the strength
Post by kayarr on May 23rd, 2008, 11:07am

on 05/22/08 at 18:52:00, BMoneeTheMoneeMan wrote:
Thanks, all, for your encouragement and what not.  She has been acting out a little bit.  Once in a blue moon she will get a call from Mommy and mommy tell her to get ready for 'tomorrow' cause shes gonna stop by and give her a bunch of presents and play with her and stuff.  When tomorrow comes, Dianan hasnt forgotten, but mommy has.  That really bothers her and she acts out for several days afterwards.  
This happens to be one of those times.  
On the one side, I can't let her ruin the table with no punishment....that is not teaching her the right thing.  On the other, I don't want to punish her too severely because I know she has a lot going on in her head, a lot that she doesn't understand.  
It's a fine line between allowing our situation to be an excuse for bad behavior and giving her the space she may need in her own head.  
I thought this parenting stuff was supposed to be easy   :-/


Parenting is never easy and you got it a little rougher than some.  Natural consequneces seem to be a good way to do it without going into a rant.  she draws on the table; she has to help fix it.  (stuff like that)

It  will get better.  You are a good Dad and she is loved.  That is the important part.

((((Brian))))
Title: Re: Lord, give me the strength
Post by LeLimey on May 23rd, 2008, 5:25pm
Make sure you write it all down Brian.. you'll make the money for the repairs back tenfold when she starts paying you NOT to tell these stories! LOL

Welcome to the club!

Helen


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