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Topic: Brand New Supporter, Please help! (Read 1152 times) |
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BlaineD
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Brand New Supporter, Please help!
« on: Sep 22nd, 2006, 3:21am » |
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Hi everyone!
I've read a lot of posts on this site today, and let me tell you I've never seen so many people come together to help others, it's really fasinating, and I would like to give a huge congrats to all the sufferers, because it is amazing that you guys can get through something so terrible. And to the supporters, I hope to be half as good as all of you are.
Alright, I am a brand spankin' new supporter. My best friend is 18 years old and she suffers from episodal CH since the age of 12 i believe, and just last night she started her cycle and its the first time that she's had her cycle in the time I've known her (i've only known here about a year). And I have NO idea what I can do for her. I feel so terrible because I hate knowing that she's in so much pain and yet there is nothing I can do. I took some advice from some posts, like sending e-mails to tell her that she's going to be okay, and that I'll be here with open arms when this is all over.
Now the only problem I've found with the site is the majority of people seem to be either dating or married to their CHer, but I havn't been able to find any friend supporters with advice. So, I'm hoping that someone can help me, anything would be awesome. I've done some research on CH, but not a whole lot (i don't know what's reliable information on the internet).
Thanks everyone, and to the CHer's, for what its worth, I'm proud of you, that you have the ability and strength to get through you're episodes, I honestly don't think I could do it.
Blaine Diggens
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Daddys_Devil
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Re: Brand New Supporter, Please help!
« Reply #1 on: Sep 22nd, 2006, 7:13am » |
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Hey there Blaine! My name's Felicia and I support for 3. Two of them are my dad and stepmom and another is a friend that I found here. I totally know what you're going through. The best thing you can do is to sit back, stay out of her way, and have what ever she needs right when she needs it. Yeah its a little scary your first time. Hell anytime for that matter. The first time I think I saw one was when I was about 7 or 8. I'm 14 now and it still scares me to death everytime one of my suffers gets hit. You're lucky. You've got 1. I've got 3. Its a bitchwhen all 3 get hit at once. Trust me. Listen to the others around here. They know a lot more about meds and other things that aren't my best topics. Hang in there.
Always,
Felicia 
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Margi
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Re: Brand New Supporter, Please help!
« Reply #2 on: Sep 22nd, 2006, 1:16pm » |
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on Sep 22nd, 2006, 3:21am, BlaineD wrote: I feel so terrible because I hate knowing that she's in so much pain and yet there is nothing I can do. I took some advice from some posts, like sending e-mails to tell her that she's going to be okay, and that I'll be here with open arms when this is all over.
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Hey, Blaine - one thing you can do is promise her that you'll be there for her WHILE it's going on, too - not just only when it's all over. I know you probably meant that, but I also know that clusterheads need extra love when they're in cycle, too. Good for you for being such an awesome friend to her. Please tell her about this place too and encourage her to visit.
Hey, I've got cousins with the surname Diggens....they were originally from Calgary, moved to Leduc and are now back in Calgary. My cousin's name is Heather and she was married to Larry until he died. Any relation?
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Brand New Supporter, Please help!
« Reply #3 on: Sep 22nd, 2006, 2:13pm » |
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Quote:| And I have NO idea what I can do for her. I feel so terrible because I hate knowing that she's in so much pain and yet there is nothing I can do. |
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WRONG.  There is a lot that you can do. Research around this site and get familiar with all the medications, oxygen tips, cold or heat packs, strong coffee or energy drinks, etc. and then ask her what she has tried. You will then be informed enough to maybe suggest something that she or her Dr. haven't thought about.
You do not have to be married or in a relationship in order to be a supporter. I would have done awaay with myself a LONG time ago if it weren't for my friends right here.
Linda
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Kindness, is gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us.
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BlaineD
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Re: Brand New Supporter, Please help!
« Reply #4 on: Sep 22nd, 2006, 7:44pm » |
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Thanks a lot guys for the advice, yestarday was the first time that I'd ever had to deal with the demon, and I wasn't even there! We were talking on msn, and she all of a sudden just freaked out at me, and i was just trying to help (this is before i found this site  , so i had NO idea what to do) and I really took it personally, but I've been reading around the site more and more and have found that almost every supporter has to go through that, and thats what we do! But, I would like some more help. I've never actually seen an attack (well i watched the clip of Chuck and let me tell you that scared me stiff, and my friend was telling me that that wasn't too bad of one), my friend won't let me go over to see her, she's too afraid that she'll do something to me, or say something to me. So I guess what I'm wondering is, what does it feel like exactly? I've read online that it feels like a hot piece of metal being forced into your eye, is that true? I just think i might be able to help her more if I actually knew what it felt like.
And to Margi, you were right, that is what I meant, but when i reread the email I sent, it really didn't sound like it. So i immediately sent her another email, to give her the extra support. And I can't think of any of my family who live in Calgary, my Diggens family is all from Ocean Falls, BC. Too bad though.
Thanks again guys,
Love to everyone,
Blaine
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Brand New Supporter, Please help!
« Reply #5 on: Sep 22nd, 2006, 9:03pm » |
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Let me get this straight. Your friend was telling you that the video of Chuck was "not a bad one" ?????
Well except for the fact that he was not banging his head into the walls like a lot of us do....I'd say that what she said was..uh.., um...o.k. I do not have the words here. 
Blaine, that was a very intense video and poor Chuck goes through that about 10 times a day.
I suggest that maybe you should see your friend while she's fighting the beast. Get her a ice pack, brew a pot of coffee and then stay with-in earshot.
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Jonny
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Re: Brand New Supporter, Please help!
« Reply #6 on: Sep 22nd, 2006, 9:11pm » |
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on Sep 22nd, 2006, 7:44pm, BlaineD wrote:| I just think i might be able to help her more if I actually knew what it felt like. |
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Believe me, you dont want to know!!!
I could cut your leg off with a blow torch and that still wouldnt be enough pain to equal.
I thank you for being there for a clusterhead, but if she wants her space give it to her.
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
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AussieBrian
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Re: Brand New Supporter, Please help!
« Reply #7 on: Sep 22nd, 2006, 9:27pm » |
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You may also like to invite her here. I can promise we'll make her welcome.
And thanks for caring enough to find us yourself.
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BlaineD
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Re: Brand New Supporter, Please help!
« Reply #8 on: Sep 23rd, 2006, 1:32am » |
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on Sep 22nd, 2006, 9:03pm, Linda_Howell wrote:
Let me get this straight. Your friend was telling you that the video of Chuck was "not a bad one" ?????
Well except for the fact that he was not banging his head into the walls like a lot of us do....I'd say that what she said was..uh.., um...o.k. I do not have the words here.
Blaine, that was a very intense video and poor Chuck goes through that about 10 times a day.
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Hi Linda,
I should have been a little more careful with my words. I understand that Chuck goes through a terrible time, what I think my friend meant to say was that thats not as bad as it can get. I'm saying I think this is what she meant because she got hit right after saying that, and she was saying that she could feel one coming on right before she talked about Chuck. But I can assure you, that her heart, as well as mine goes out to Chuck, and his bravery. So I apologize.
Furthermore, thank you for your advice AussieBrain, I will definately tell her to join up, once she gets the energy to of course.
Thanks again to everyone for the advice.
Blaine
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Brand New Supporter, Please help!
« Reply #9 on: Sep 24th, 2006, 2:33pm » |
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No need to apologize Blaine. I understood what you were telling me that she said.
Quote:| meant to say was that thats not as bad as it can get. |
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It's pretty accurate to me, and I've been chronic for 19 years. (except, as I said, for the head-banging part) of which I do almost every time.
and I agree it will help her a lot if you can convince her to come here for information and for support as soon as she is able.
I commend you for trying to help and being a great friend to her. High-five to you Blaine.
Linda
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Kindness, is gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us.
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Daddys_Devil
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Re: Brand New Supporter, Please help!
« Reply #10 on: Sep 24th, 2006, 9:47pm » |
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Linda's right Blaine. She should definatly check in around here and let us know when she does so that we can find her. Trust us. Most of us want to help. There are good peple here and if your friend finds the right ones she'll be just fine. Send me a PM if you need some supporting advice. I'm always around and ready to help. We're all one family here and we are all both sufferers and supporters. Hang in there. Mcuh strangth headed your way.
Always,
Felicia
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| « Last Edit: Sep 24th, 2006, 9:47pm by devilsdaughter » |
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BlaineD
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Re: Brand New Supporter, Please help!
« Reply #11 on: Sep 24th, 2006, 10:41pm » |
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on Sep 24th, 2006, 9:47pm, Daddys_Devil wrote:| We're all one family here and we are all both sufferers and supporters. Hang in there. |
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Thanks a lot Daddys_Devil; you're right it really does feel like one big family, and man am I proud to be apart of it! Thank you to everyone who has been so helpful to me and given me the strength to continue supporting my CHer and given me such awesome advice, I deeply appreciate it. And I will definately tell her to join up on this site once she feels up to it.
Thanks again, Love to you all,
Blaine
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BlaineD
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Re: Brand New Supporter, Please help!
« Reply #12 on: Sep 25th, 2006, 12:29am » |
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Hey everyone, I'm curious to know if anyone has ever heard of Ativan (a drug which induces sleep) helping or hurting a CHer? Seeing as it induces sleep (and CH can be brought about by REM sleep) I would assume that it would cause more HA, but I'm just curious to know if anyone has heard, or experienced different.
Thanks a lot, love to all,
Blaine
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| « Last Edit: Sep 25th, 2006, 12:30am by BlaineD » |
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