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        Supporter's Corner >> Supporter's Corner >> For my fam...
        
(Message started by: phydeaux on Sep 26^th, 2005, 1:40am)

Title: For my fam...
Post by phydeaux on Sep 26^th, 2005, 1:40am

I have a concern. I am the family member who has CH. My wife is absolutely AWESOME in her support and help. But I have a concern for my 3 year old daughter. Lately, she has taken to copying me, sitting off in a corner, rubbing her head and saying "I'm not good, I have a headache.", or "I'm sick, my head hurts". Or worse, following me into the bathroom everytime I go there, and trying to rub my neck with a washcloth (Which is what my wife does when I am vomiting from the pain).

I can't help but believe that this is not good for her, but short of moving out, what am I to do? Of course, I want only the absolute best for her.

Any thoughts or comments are greatly appreciated.
TIA!

Title: Re: For my fam...
Post by deltadarlin on Sep 26^th, 2005, 6:41am

Welcome to the board. I'm 'darlin, a supporter of a ch'er. I don't think you have anything to worry about with your little girl and it would be far more detrimental if you moved out. My daughter was about your daughter's age when I started working split shifts. She was the one home with her daddy when he'd have headaches. Now, she never started mimicking him, but she would *check* on him, get him cold rags, etc. She's 21 now and has no recollection of it.

'darlin

Title: Re: For my fam...
Post by lionsound on Sep 26^th, 2005, 8:14am

Hi !
My boys are 6 and 10 and mommy has has headaches their whole life. It's part of the deal.
Some people have a basket of special toys that the kiddos can play with while the parent is hurting. My kids like to help..even when they were little. So i try to give them something their speed to help with. A washcloth is a good one they can fetch it and wet it. Getting me a drink of water. turning on the TV so I can watch a movie = kid movie or show for them ;).

Now that they are older my O2 tank is big fun and they fight over who gets to switch it. And they get ice out of the freezer because they can reach it.

I've asked lots of professionals about this because like you i was very worried...they said that it is a part of our lives so you can't expect the loving child to ignore a hurting parent. Compassion is okay.

When my head doesn't hurt we talk about it(not in medical detail). Ever since they were very small. Sort of puts it in perspective. That I'm okay and they are super for helping and I love them very much. And I answer their questions if they have any. Sometimes it is "did it hurt?" and sometmes it's, "mommy, how big is a snapping turtle?" :) Then I spend non-HA time with them....and hugs..lots of hugs.

PF's for you!
-lionsound

P.S. I know that you mentioned that your daughter is copying you....I'm not tryig to alarm you and I trust your judgement as i am not at your house and you know your daugher... but I am going to err on the side of caution here ... my 6 year old was complaining of HA's and grandpatents and relatieves thougt he was mimicking me. I knew he wasn't..and carefully waited and watched and documented. turns out he has migraines like me.

Title: Re: For my fam...
Post by phydeaux on Sep 26^th, 2005, 5:12pm

on 09/26/05 at 08:14:41, lionsound wrote:

<SNIP>

P.S. I know that you mentioned that your daughter is copying you....I'm not tryig to alarm you and I trust your judgement as i am not at your house and you know your daugher... but I am going to err on the side of caution here ... my 6 year old was complaining of HA's and grandpatents and relatieves thougt he was mimicking me. I knew he wasn't..and carefully waited and watched and documented. turns out he has migraines like me.

Oh my god, I wouldn't wish THIS kind of pain and suffering on my mother-in-law.Or anyone on the planet, for that matter. I can't even imagine my little princess going through this agony.

But, ok. Let's assume the worst. How does one get a reasonable diagnosis of migraine or CH out of a three year old? Since she doesn't wake up screaming at night (I'm chronic, so this is normal for me) or any other time, where do we start?

Title: Re: For my fam...
Post by lionsound on Sep 26^th, 2005, 7:05pm

I don't want that for your beautiful daughter either.

I'm not a doc, but I would guess that she does not have clusters. If she did, like you said, she'd be screaming. (helen's toddler son Jasper has clusters and he screams)

She probably does not have migraines, However, if she's complaining remain calm about it just write it down on a calendar. date time and what she said and did. When I did this it became clear after a very short while that my son was not copying because of his sudden change in demeanor ....he would put himself in bed and he's normally made of springs. Then he had one HA where he puked all over me.

The other possibility is that her ears, or something else may hurt and copying what she sees and hears.... that may be how she can communicate it.

Before I did any of this I called our doctor and made a game plan on how to figure out if he was copying me. I didn't think so, but we had to be sure. I also had her check my son's ears. So please call your pediatrician and talk about it. Sometimes they have really good suggestions about such things.

As I said I'm not trying to alarm you. I went a long time undiagnosed from a very young age and maybe that's why my ears perk up when I hear little ones complain.

Title: [i]Re: For my fam...[/i]
Post by phydeaux on Sep 26^th, 2005, 10:02pm

I'm pretty sure there's nothing wrong with her (of course, I'll check with her doc to make sure) but the sudden PANIC at the mere thought of hjer having to suffer with this...

:shudder:

It's OK, I took a deep breath, I'm OK...