Daniel passed away 18/06/2008.

The suboccipital and GLOA combined injections were a success. His CH cycle stopped completely 2 weeks after 2 injections. Total length of last cycle was only 5 weeks, compared to 8 months 2 years ago.

However, he plunged into a very dark deep depression cycle of his bipolar and could not come out, despite a week stay in hospital last week. On 18/06/08 he left the house at night while I was sleeping, took an overdose of his antidepressant. The alarm was raised within an hour of him leaving the house but he did not want to be found. He went into hiding. The police found him the next morning, passed away.

I am hurting like hell now but its time to say goodbye.

Take care all, thank you for everything and God bless.

If you can, please pray for all of us.


Annette

Oh Annette, I am sooo very sorry. I just can't come up with the words to comfort you and your children. You are in my prayers. Please do not lose touch with us.

Charlotte

Don't know what to say...
I'm praying for you.

OMG, I am so sorry, Annette!  :'( :'( :'(

Please dont lose touch with us.  :'(

[smiley=hug.gif], awful shcoking news annett,  :'(. andrew.

OH Annette my dear dear friend

I am speachless by this terrible news. :'( :'(

I just dont know what to say my friend :'( :'(

You and your family have my deepest sympathy and condolences. :'( :'(

Please contact me when you feel you are ready for it,but please do not leave us here alone.Now its the time for us to show you your true and real friends.

i just dont know what more to say Annette

I will be praying for you and your family

The very best from Svenn

From the bottom of my heart, I am so sorry.  I wish you were closer ad there were something we could do.  I don't have the words for you, but my prayers have centerd round you and your children.

May God be with you in your mind and soul.

We love you so much!

:-/   :'(

Oh Annette, I am heartbroken for your loss. Pleas know that from the depths of my being I am reaching in and sending you all of my love and condolences.

Daniel suffered so very much on so many levels. It is so tragic that his life has ended but now he has found some peace. You were and are a wonderful person and a tremendous friend and supporter. Your children are especially in my prayers during this very sad time.

with warm regards,
Tony

My deepest condolences and sympathies to your family :(
Mast

Annette, I don't know what to say. I am so very sorry to hear about Daniel. Please accept my deepest condolences. I cannot imagine what you are going through right now. You and your family are in my thoughts.  [smiley=hug.gif]

We don't have the words :'( :'( :'(

Jim and Barb

OMG Annette! We are so deeply sorry. Please, PLEASE stay here with us. Our deepest condolences to you and the children.
:'( :'(

 Barry&Angie

Thank you everyone for your kind words, they mean a lot to me.

Daniel is at peace now and is with God. No more pain, no more struggle. I am happy for him that way. But I cant help missing him so much. Today is the first morning waking up without him in my world. The pain is indescribable.

I am struggling to pick up the pieces left behind and I am so scared of the lonely days and nights ahead. I really dont know how I am going to live without him.

Please pray for me to have the strength to carry on for our two boys.

Thank you .

Oh Annette,

I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss.   :'( :'( :'(  The only condolence is that Daniel is finally at peace from his suffering, however it still doesn't make it easier for those who remain behind.  You and your children are in my prayers, and will be for a long time - but especially so in these next days and weeks as you mourn the loss of Daniel and have to live on your life without him.

I wish there was more we could do.  But definitely don't disappear now - I'm sure you will find much support here.

Hang in there.

Much love and hugs,
Carrie

I'm so sorry Annette.  I can't imagine what you are going through right now.   :'( :'( :'(

-Dennis-

wrote on Jun 19^th, 2008 at 6:25pm:

I am struggling to pick up the pieces left behind and I am so scared of the lonely days and nights ahead. I really dont know how I am going to live without him.

Annette,  You are not living without him. He is and always will be with you and the boys.  He does not want you to be in pain.  Try to understand that the choice that he made was because he thought it was his last option.  I know that logically you know this, but emotionally it is going to be harder then anything to feel like you are doing anything more then going thru the motions.  This family is not here just for those of us who get CH.  We are here for everyone who is effected by those HA, and you are a prime example of that.   If you feel that you need to step away from the board, I understand, but I hope that you know that at any time, you can come here to talk, cry, laugh or scream.   You and the boys are all part of clusterville, and I know from experience that everyone here will give you whatever it is that you need. A shoulder, a hug, a sounding board, whatever.  They have saved my life, and my marriage a few times as well.

Love and Light. May the Winds of Fate carry you with Gentler Breezes.
Tiannia  [smiley=hug.gif]

Annette, I am so sorry.  

Charlotte

wrote on Jun 19^th, 2008 at 6:25pm:

Please pray for me to have the strength to carry on for our two boys.

Praying with all my heart. You are one of the strongest people I know, anyway....keep the faith.  

Love you,

KJ

Annette, I am so sorry for your loss.  May the comforter give you peace beyond all comprehension.  Your in our prayers.

:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

Shocking and sad, I'm so sorry for you and your children. Depression is a terrible disease.  It is like an infection or cancer - sometimes, people recover, other times, nothing helps.  Time to grieve, and time to treasure and celebrate the times you had with Daniel.  I know that the amount of help you have provided to us was great, and that you gave even more support to Daniel.  

Annette - I have no words other than I'm so very sorry for you and the children :'(

Please stay here with us - you need the support right now.

Hugs
Carol

Oh dear god, Annette! My thoughts are with you. and my sincerest condolences.

My heart aches for your loss Annette.  I'm so sorry.

I am very sorry to here of this happening to you and yours' Annette. May the tide rise with you, as you begin your trip through the rest of your life. Farewell.

[smiley=smokin.gif]

Annette,

I'm so sorry to hear you've been bravely dealing with private turmoil in your family with Daniel this past week.  I know you were desperately trying to win this battle with him.  This terribly touching resolve is deeply, deeply saddening.  
 Tears flow unstoppable for loved ones beyond, take your time with your boys together in weakness of heart.  

Dear Annette:

There are no words to express how sorry I am to hear this.  I can only barely imagine your sorrow.

May God provide you and your children with the strength to mourn and reconstruct your lives without Daniel.

We all care deeply about you and wish to continue our friendship, and help in anyway that we can.  

Please write frequently....we want to walk with you and hold your hand through your time of sorrow.

Your friend,
Donna H

Sincere condolences to you and your family.

Jackie

Please accept our sincere condolences, Annette. How tragic. :'(

Goodbye Daniel -- Although we'd never met, I'm sure you were greatly loved by your wife and kids.

Annette:  I have few words of solice, other than to say that you have friends here and we mourn your loss.  Please feel free to PM any prayer requests to me and I'll be glad to be here for you.  Rest assured that I'll pray for you and your family.

Ray  

Dear Annette,

So sorry for your loss. Have followed Daniel's battle and your "angel" support for a long while now. You couldn't have done a better job and I frequently thought of you both. Saddened that it ended this way.

My prayers are with you and your children. Yes, goodbye, but not forgotten...

Jon

A terrible thing to learn Annette. I don't know what to say. My 42 year old cousin in 1997, took her life as well from a long battle with bi-polar. It is a horror.

I am so sorry.

Charlie

Lifting you and your family up during this horrible ordeal you are going thru.

Dear Annette:
                      My deepest condolences and sympathies to your family
Terry & Family

My deepest condolences, Annette.  May God grant you peace.

Annette,

Words are totally escaping me now, I'm shocked and really feel for you and your loss--My deepest condolences.

Your friend,

John  :'(

Annette.

So sorry.

Steve G

Annette,
I am so sorry. My husband and I are praying for all of you.

You are a valuable member of this family. Please stay active here. You would be deeply missed.

Annette, if you're still here I'd like to ask you something.

   Many people here have asked me for your address so they could send you a condolence card.  I told them I didn't have it.  Can you PM me your address?  I would only give it out to people I know are trustworthy.

Annette,

I am so sorry.  I wish I could reach out and hug you and let you know just what a great supporter you were to Daniel.  

Be well
Ree

Oh, Annette...

I'm terribly, terribly sorry to hear about this, my friend.  We've talked so many times, discussing everything under the sun--good times and bad, families and kids...it's hard to believe that Daniel is gone.  

I know how much you all loved him.  I'm shocked by this, and very saddened.

You have my number, my contacts, and my address--please--if there's anything at all that I can do, or if you ever wish to talk, get ahold of me.  

This, of all times, makes me wish that I were not half a world away.   :'(

George

You and your family are in my prayers.              Tuck

Annette,

my thoughts and my prayers are with you and your boys. I'm deeply sorry for your loss. My deepest condolences. I wish you all strength as you face this sad, difficult time. [smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=hug.gif]

Sanna :'(

Annette, I'm so sorry that words fail me.  How absolutely awful this must be...and your boys  :'(.   Be assured that you have a family here that will hold you up when you can't stand anymore.

You're all in my heart and prayers.

With condolences,
Langa

Annette,

I am so very very sorry that you and the boys have to go through this sorrow.  My heart and soul weeps for you all.  May there be light at the end of the journey for you . My deepest condolences to you all.

Please stay in touch I have missed you being around.

Daniel may you be at peace now.

:'( :'( :'(

I'm so at a loss to know what to say, there is nothing I can say that will help but I'm praying for all of you. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Helen

Thank you so much everyone, your messages deeply moved me. Thank you for having love and care for Daniel and me and the children.

If you all allow me to, I would like to share some of my thoughts and feelings here in the next few days. We dont have any relatives here in Sydney apart from my sister who flew up from Melbourne. For me to be able to share my feelings would greatly relieve some of my pain.

It has been harder than I imagined. Yesterday I had to go identify the body and to see him lying there motionless hit me harder than anything I had been through. I kept thinking that he was going to open his eyes and smile at me any minute.  :'(  All through today I kept hoping that this is all a dream, that I will wake up seeing him lying next to me looking at me with those big beautiful hazel eyes.

It hurts !

Annette my dear friend,

Nothing we can say or do at a time like this will stop the pain or fill the terrible loss you and the boys must be feeling.  All we can do is send our deepest love, caring thoughts, and prayers that God brings you comfort and the strength to go on.

Jonny and Svenn said it best.  When you're ready to come back to us please do so.  We need you.

Love, Peter and Joyce

I am so sorry.  How are the boys doing?

'darlin

:'(

Know that you are loved and we're here for you my friend... Prayers and thoughts are coming your way from us here in Texas.

Hugs BD

I can't begin to fathom your pain Annette;


Quote:

WHEN I MUST LEAVE YOU When I must leave you for a little while, Please go on bravely with a gallant smile And for my sake and in my name, Live on and do all things the same - Spend not your life in empty days, But fill each waking hour in useful ways - Reach out your hand in comfort and in cheer, And I in turn will comfort you and hold you near Helen Steiner Rice

Quote:

Native American Prayer I give you this one thought to keep -- I am with you still - I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the diamond glints on snow, I am the sunlight on ripened grain, I am the gentle autumn rain. When you awaken in the morning's hush, I am the swift, uplifting rush, of quiet birds in circled flight, I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not think of me as gone -- I am with you still -- in each new dawn. Anonymous

You have my sincerest sympathy.
No goodbye's Annette, just until you meet again.

Cat

Annett - My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.  :'(

Wow.  I am shocked!  I just got back and saw this.  I'm sorry for your loss.  Please accept my sympathies!!

:(

I am so sorry for your loss and pain.  I pray that God will hold you and your children in the palm of His hand.

Peace and heartfelt condolences,

Jeannie and Family

Annette,
I am so sorry, you are in our thoughts and prayers
Dorothy & Mike

I'm very sorry for your loss.  My condolences to you and your family.


Mike

Annette,

I am so sorry to hear this news about your Daniel. My prayers at Mass this Sunday will be for you and your family. I am just so, so sorry to hear this Annette.

Please be strong.

With condolences,

Scott

Yes Annette, please do share your thoughts and feelings with us.

We love you and want to talk with you regularly.  We would like to share all the stages with you and be here for you.

Daniel was very loved and he knows that.  You are a wonderful person and you were blessed to share your lives with each other.

There are not enough words to express................all these feelings.

Love you,
Donna H

Annette and boys,

I am sitting here in tears wishing I had some way of taking some of your grief and pain.  I don't have anything profound to say other than you are loved far more than you can understand by many of us.  Annette, you have been such an encouragement and help to so many of us that we selfishly don't want to see you leave, but I understand the constant reminder of Daniel by your presence here might be to much to bear.  You are in my family's prayers, and I just requested prayer from the church as well.  I know the words sound empty, but I pray for God's peace for you and the boys.

Jerry

With deepest condolences to you and your family, sending hugs and prayers from Canada


Andrea

I continue to pray for you and your boys, Annette.

Annette, I am so sorry for your loss  :'( :'(

You are family here. Know that we love you and will be here for you just as you have always been for us.

My deepest sympathies,
Jen

Second night after he has gone, I rolled over in bed and reached out to touch him like I always do and realised that his side of the bed was empty, I woke up, cried my eyes out and could not sleep anymore.

During the day people come and go and I ride through the pain of time passing on their combined energy. Right now I feel so utterly and profoundly alone. I miss his touch and I miss being to able to just reach out and touch him.

I have been through many challenges in my life but so far this is the hardest yet. It hurts deeply walking through life with this big cold emptiness inside of me and with half of me missing.

Please pray for me and the children. My 8 years old has not fully understood it yet but Edwyn at 12 years old was much closer to Daniel and it has hit him really hard to.

Please pray for peace for all of us and please pray for Daniel in Heaven.

Thank you

Annette,

my heart goes out to you and your boys - I promise I will remember you and Daniel in my prayers.

May God bless and love you all and may the spirit of the Holy Ghost give you the strength and courage you need.

Regards & love,

Melvyn

No words.
Our condolences and sympathy's
thebbz

Annette,

I wish that there was some way to take the heaviness of the pain that you  and the boys will face.  Try and make sure that you take some time for you.  Yes I know and understand wanting to be strong for the kids, but you need to make sure that you have some time for you.

We are all here, and love you.  

Love and Light
Tia :'(

Warmest wishes in your time of need.

Oh Annette, my heart breaks for you. I got a call today that told me about this thread. There are no words to express my sympathy. I can only state that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. You have done so much for my family, I only wish I could do something for you.....

Maffumatt

wrote on Jun 20^th, 2008 at 2:45pm:

During the day people come and go and I ride through the pain of time passing on their combined energy.

Annette:
I went through a period of extreme stress about 4 years ago - absolutely nothing close to what you're going through - and found that as long as I completely exhausted myself, I could sleep. That meant actively doing things until I knew I would sleep. Then, when I went to bed, I had the television on (and set the "sleep" to 30 minutes). It worked for me. My mind didn't continue to race when I went to bed, and I rarely woke up.
Maybe this will help you.
Lizzie

I am so sorry, I without words here. Just know you and family are in my prayers.

You and your family have our deepest sympathy and condolences.

Barry & Nina

Annette-

I'll be thinking of you and your family in this sad time.  I'm very sorry for your loss- please stay connected here

Kelly

you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers  :'(

We just don't have the words...........

Marta & Michael

Annette

I just saw this thread and am totally shocked.  I have no words to express how sorry I am to hear this terrible news.

Please know my prayers are on the way for you and the boys.

Sandy

His family , especially his mother, who had all but totally abandoned Daniel in the last 2 years upon hearing of his illnesses, who totally denied he had CH, is trying to upstage me regarding his funeral service.

His mother is threatening to contest for his body and to have him buried in Melbourne. She didnt want him to be cremated ( as per his wishes ) and for me to keep his ashes.

I hope things will not get ugly but since Daniel did not leave a will, I might have to fight it out in the Supreme Court.

Please pray for extra strength for me. Thank you so much.

I don't know how it is in Australia, but in the US a legal spouse is the next of kin. No one else could dispute such an issue. Do you have an attorney?

Annette, is there a link to a guestbook we could sign? It would be nice for us to be able to wish a brother a safe journey.

I am so very sorry!  May we all pray that God blesses you and your children with the extra strength and also faith you need now
during this difficult time.  :'(
Never be afraid to give into to your pain, I believe it may be the only way for you or your children to begin the process of healing.
You are in my prayers.  May God bless you and your family.   [smiley=hug.gif]

Thank you Nani for your kind thoughts. I am not sure about link to a guestbook but I will find out.

I am going to print out this thread and have it displayed at the funeral and I will put a copy of it in his casket to be cremated with him so that he can read everything that his CH family here has written. Daniel has always been very thankful for the support here even when he didnt post much. He used to read the forum every day.

I will have to go to a solicitor on monday to find out more. I am legally his next of kin. However, the police told me that since he didnt leave a will, his family could contest for his body but they would have to go to the Supreme Court. His body has been "tagged" so that it will not be automatically released after the autopsy, awaiting legal order. I am prepared to fight all the way if needs be. His wishes had always been to be with me and the children forever.

Please pray for us as we need extra strength in the weeks to come to pull through this.

Thank you so much everyone.

Parents and spouses fight it out over funerals every day sadly. I know of plenty of cases both in the US and here in the UK. Then there are cases like the Terry Shiavo (sp?) one. Sadly, being a spouse doesn't automatically mean anything.

Annette, if it helps, every memorial book I've ever signed was set up by the funeral home or a newspaper when you put in memoriam or funeral notices in. They should both be able to advise you. I know knowing where to start with stuff is so very daunting at a time like this.

Helen [smiley=hug.gif]

 Annette, thank you for your grace and your reply.

Linda and I will pray to lift you up and protect you and the boys as you make your way through this tragic time

Daniel we will see again when God decides it is time.

Prayers and hugz.....Tim and Linda

Prayers are on their way from Finland. [smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=hug.gif]

Sanna

So very sorry for your loss.  Prayers from the midwest.

Stay with it Annette. Things will get better.
thebbz

May God in Heaven Bless You and your Children. That is what Daniel most certainly wants. He may have left you but not without thoughts of you and the little ones.

My own thoughts of escape have been, that I need to end this punishment to my family, the guilt has become more than I can stand. It is not my wifes fault nor yours. She and you have done everything possible. The Lord knows these things. Please know them yourself.

I know from reading your posts for the last two years that you were not only helping Daniel but the majority of us on this site. I understand why you may not be here in the future, but I for one will miss you and Daniel dearly. I don't post much but I am here lots.

"Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I shall fear no evil" P23.
Skyhawk5 (Don)

Dearest Annette,
My deepest of condolences during this difficult time.

I think the trouble is not knowing what to say, but how to say it. To verbalise the deepest of emotions is indeed a difficult thing.
Just know that you and your family will be in all of our hearts, thoughts and prayers.  

Unlike everybody else, we have had the the opportunity to meet and havent taken advantage of it. ( we are only kms away), and not having taken that time to meet with you and Daniel, I will forever be regretful.

If there is anything that i can do, you know where to find me.

psalm 31:24

Be brave. Be strong. Don't give up.
     Expect God to get here soon.

:'( :'(
Turts

My deepest condolences.....thinking of you and your family.

I am so sorry to hear the news Annette. I am praying for you and sending my condolences.

With Love,
Bob

Wow. That is tough.

May he alway have the wind at his back, may his sails always be full, may he have a perpetual sunset before him
Fair winds and following seas, my brother.

TomM

The autopsy was done today. What a hard day to go through.

The funeral will be on Monday, Daniel will be cremated and his ashes will sit on my desk so that he can always be with me and this way he can still read the forum whenever he wants.

For now, I have won the battle with the ashes but it looks like his mother and half sister will launch the next fight for his superannuation and insurance money. I dont seem to be able to rest!

Its 2 am now and I cant sleep.  :'(



Please allow me to share this song with Daniel and with all of you.


Un-break My Heart

Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Come back and bring back my smile
Come and take these tears away
I need your arms to hold me now
The night are so unkind
Bring back those nights when I held you beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked out of my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart

Take back that sad word good-bye
Bring back the joy to my life
Don't leave me here with these tears
Come and kiss that pain away
I can't forget the day you left
Time is so unkind
And life is so cruel without you here beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked out of my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart

Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Bring back the nights when I held you beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked out of my life
Un-cry that tears
I cried so many, many nights
Un-break my

Un-break my heart
Come back and say you love me
Un-break my heart
Sweet darlin'
Without you I just can't go on
Can't go on....


START PRINTPAGEMultimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to or END PRINTPAGE

Annette,

I'm still not finding any death announcement in the on-line obituaries of the Sydney Morning Herald - a place where we, as cluster-brothers-and-sisters can wish Daniel a safe journey and express our condolences to his entire family.

wrote on Jun 25^th, 2008 at 12:31pm:

Annette, I'm still not finding any death announcement in the on-line obituaries of the Sydney Morning Herald - a place where we, as cluster-brothers-and-sisters can wish Daniel a safe journey and express our condolences to his entire family.

Been doing the same myself also looked in the Melbourne papers; but from memory under Aust law death notices & funeral announcements can't be aired until the autopsy has been carried out & released.

Regards
Barry

Here in my state if nobody PAYS for a death notice to be put in the newspaper....its not, put in the newspaper!

In California death notices are a service provided by the funeral home and are added in as a part of the cost..as well as  any on-line condolence book that people who cannot attend  the funeral can sign.  They are automatically added and dispensed as soon as permission is granted.  Iit is always a part of the details one must go through when talking to a funeral director.  

When my dad died we had to pay a good bit of money for it to be put in the paper.
Buddy and I decided not to have ours put in the paper. We are not even having a funeral. Just cremation and the ashes picked up. Deveny is to keep the ashes of who ever dies first till the other dies then we want to be spread together where ever Deveny lives, in her yard.
It keeps things simple for the love ones left behind. They won't have all the hassle. The money will be better used for things they need.

*Here*, you can get a free notice, but it's small and has just the basic information.  Anything more elaborate.  YOu have to pay for.  Does the funeral home have a registry where people can leave on-line condolence?

'darlin

It seems to me that Annette is going through enough without having to answer everyones fucking questions!

Am I wrong on this?......Please tell me if I am! >:(

You may mean well, but how well do you mean?

wrote on Jun 25^th, 2008 at 9:03pm:

It seems to me that Annette is going through enough without having to answer everyones fucking questions! Am I wrong on this?......Please tell me if I am! >:( You may mean well, but how well do you mean?

Im getting some PM's about this post.

Com'on big mouths.....please post here!

Ass-holes!!!!!

Theres alot of back stabbing motherfuckers in this family!

Too bad they like to hide in the shadows....COWARDS!!!!!!!

 
Quote:

I guess some people here are saying that I made this up for attention.

   HUH?    My take is that people here were trying to figure out how they could leave a condolence message and were trying to help you with what we know from how the US does things.

  :(

Linda_Howell wrote on Jun 25^th, 2008 at 10:36pm:

Quote: I guess some people here are saying that I made this up for attention.    HUH?    My take is that people here were trying to figure out how they could leave a condolence message and were trying to help you with what we know from how the US does things.   :(

Com'on, Linda.....folks here have been hunting for Annettes head for years.......dont be an ass, you know it! >:(

Edit to add: Her husband dies and you people still question her.....WHY?

Are you fucked in the head?

Wait until someone you love dies!

Oh, my dear Annette!  I have no idea what others may have said, or meant, or thought.

I *do* know how very much it meant to me to read what was written in my dad's online guestbook.  That seems to be the standard here in the US - to be able to send our condolences online, all in once place, where you can print them out and keep them.

My heart is with you, Annette.

Lizzie

Quote:

Are you fucked in the head? Wait until someone you love dies!

  Uncalled for,  and I am now officially out of this thread.

alienspacebabe wrote on Jun 25^th, 2008 at 10:42pm:

I *do* know how very much it meant to me to read what was written in my dad's online guestbook.  That seems to be the standard here in the US - to be able to send our condolences online, all in once place, where you can print them out and keep them.

I agree, Lizzie.  I enjoyed seeing various members of the  cluster-family post to my dad's online guestbook.

I do not know the norm, but I have never seen a condolance book except for when Princess Dianna Died.  It is not the norm here where I live.

We also have to pay to have any thing put in the papers, not everyone does, its a personal thing.

Many different places have different ways of doing things.

Annette I am so sorry if you feel in any way harassed, I am sure everyone was doing things they thought would help, just a little different to your ways thats all.

Please be at peace, you have enough to deal with at this time, vibes being sent to help you through.  :-[

Back in here, if you want to see an add in a newspaper, you need to pay a lot of money for it. When my father passed away, my mother considered it for a long time, but eventually paid for a small add at two papers; our local and the local paper at dad's home city. Mom felt that it was easier way to let the rest of the people know.

I don't know how things are done today, but I don't recall seeing online condolence book link mentioned in here - what comes to the funerals I have attended or what comes to the people I know who have passed away. Aguess it's not - at least not commonly - done in here. The idea is very nice, though.

Annette, it's been 11 years since the day my father passed away, but I recall very well how much strength it took from both of us to arrange all the things related to his funeral. [smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=hug.gif][smiley=hug.gif]

Sanna

wrote on Jun 25^th, 2008 at 9:03pm:

It seems to me that Annette is going through enough without having to answer everyones fucking questions! Am I wrong on this?......Please tell me if I am! >:( You may mean well, but how well do you mean?

I think there are two separate things going on here Jonny.

Yes without a doubt, Annette has way too much on her plate to be answering questions. I wouldn't refute that for a single minute.

While I can't speak for everyone's motives, I do know people who are genuinely heartsick over this. They are hurting for Annette and they want to provide some small words of comfort.

We had a memorial page for Kip ourselves remember? People like to be able to say "Bon Voyage" and to give love and support to the family left behind.

We've all signed guestbooks or memorials or whatever you want to call them for many many people and in itself, people asking for one is "normal".

It isn't the custom in every country. For me myself, the first time I ever saw one was here on ch.com (barring Princess Diana) Its a new thing as far as Brits are concerned but I think it's wonderful and a lovely thing to have for ever more.

Peoples questions are absolutely too much now, comments - whatever you want to call it but remember, this has come as a big shock to everyone. No one is thinking straight and I am certain that the majority of people want to comfort not accuse. A sudden death is a terrible thing for everyone.

If I die and there isn't a memorial page set up anywhere - I hope someone here would set one up for me.

I hope this helps, where ever and who ever needs it.

Helen

3 thoughts:
Annette, please don't think that without Daniel you have no reason to be here. I am neither sufferer nor direct supporter...........I'm..I'mm, well, I'm here, nonetheless. You can be too. Itseems there are many here who care about you-why would you leave your friends?

Additionally, it is an automatic reaction, here in the states, to ask if there is a condolence site at the loss of a loved one. Please don't read anymore than that into it..........and, remember, not everyone has to love you....it's enough if some do.

Finally, let's not turn this into a pissing match, please. If something has been said to you in private............THEN LEAVE IT PRIVATE! Now, let's all regroup and remember why we are here.

Cathi-who hates it when the pot is stirred...........

Annette,
Greive, mourne and do what ever else you need to do to begin the healing process. Forget about CH.com, it is completely irrelevant to what is happening in your life now.
When you are ready CH.com will welcome you back with open arms.
Be Well
Robbie

This is a sad post,

Turned in the SADDEST POST I have ever read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is sad to me because if what I am reading is true, about a few PM's to someone in need in our CH Family in their time of need and they were truly written by someone in this CH Family questioning things about the validity of the situation in that persons life, you can go to hell and you need to get a life of your own and I am ashamed to know you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really don't friggen believe this. Sad indeed :'(

wrote on Jun 25^th, 2008 at 9:33pm:

wrote on Jun 25th, 2008 at 9:03pm: It seems to me that Annette is going through enough without having to answer everyones fucking questions! Am I wrong on this?......Please tell me if I am! >:( You may mean well, but how well do you mean? Im getting some PM's about this post. Com'on big mouths.....please post here! Ass-holes!!!!!

wrote on Jun 25^th, 2008 at 10:15pm:

Theres alot of back stabbing motherfuckers in this family! Too bad they like to hide in the shadows....COWARDS!!!!!!!

wrote on Jun 25^th, 2008 at 10:41pm:

Linda_Howell wrote on Jun 25th, 2008 at 10:36pm: Com'on, Linda.....folks here have been hunting for Annettes head for years.......dont be an ass, you know it! >:( Edit to add: Her husband dies and you people still question her.....WHY? Are you fucked in the head? Wait until someone you love dies! [quote author=4664716D6C5A556C60776660050 link=1213910869/100#107 date=1214488906] ... it is an automatic reaction, here in the states, to ask if there is a condolence site at the loss of a loved one. Finally, let's not turn this into a pissing match, please. If something has been said to you in private............THEN LEAVE IT PRIVATE!

Why are you so upset jonny?  These words you've posted are downright mean, hurtful, rude, derogatory, inflammatory, insinuating,  accusatory and an insult to every person here at CH.com.

There are many, many people here who have lost loved ones. There is nothing wrong with wanting to leave sympathies and condolences, and asking if there is a place to do it online. Is this not an internet message board? Plenty of people have posted that they had an online guest book so people could leave personal messages.

In fact, it's something that the bereaved can look back on later, with a smile, and fond memories, and appreciate the posts, and the people who left them.

You have managed to degrade the thread, and cast a pall over it. Calling people names, especially Linda, is totally uncalled for, and immature at best.

I hope you accomplished whatever it was you wanted to accomplish. Trying to make others look bad, so you look good. Sorry, but it has just the opposite effect.

Enjoy your day.

Cathi, good words.

I have modified this post because I cant believe some of you fucking people.

You finally have ran Annette off in her worst time of need, I hope you are happy now!

If you did this to me I would find you and kill you!....thats a given.

How about this...let it go and take it behind closed doors.  Chris I'm shocked that you would actually continue something in this thread, especially towards Jonny.  Jonny, bringing up bullshit from the PM's, shouldn't have been brought out in the first place.  If it really happened, that disgusts me even more.

It sadens me that this has been put into a thread about someones death, have a little respect for God's sake.  

>:(