Hey All........... I thought I'd seek your advice once again.

I have done in home child care for the last 16 years.  One of the children I used to have is now best friends with my daughter and her mom and I are best friends as well.  This little girl is bright, beautiful, athletic and out going.  Until lately.  

About a month ago, she began being afraid to go anywhere.  She doesn't want to play sports, go outside, play with friends, go swimming, have sleepovers at her house or away.  Nothing.  She would just like to be at her home alone.  Her mom forces her to have friends over and to go to her basketball games.  There is always a big scene at home before the activity but once she is there or playing with friend she is ok.  Yesterday though, she had a panic attack at her game in front of all of her team mates.

My heart breaks for this little girl and her mom.  They went to a counselor and were given relaxation exercises but they have not helped.  Has anyone heard of a child having problems like this?  I just wish so badly that I could help her.

Jeannie

Yikes!!!... That doesn't sound good. Has she been sexually abused?


with warm regards, Tony

That was our first thought.  As far as we can tell........ no.   Her mom even came out and asked her.  She swears that nothing has happened to her.  May she wouldn't admit it though.  She and her mom are very close.

Jeannie

My son is also 10 and had panic attacks.  He sees a psychiatrist and takes a low dose of Celexa at bedtime (citalopram).  This seems to have eliminated the problem for him.  Your milage may vary, of course.

The psychiatrist that Sam sees is also a board certified neurologist and is associated with the Children's Hospital in Columbus, OH.

Wishing you well,

Ray

Trauma will cause a sudden onset of anxiety disorders, or it's possible it's congenital.

In addition to a therapist, I think I'd take my kid to a psychiatrist to look at meds. I don't advocate throwing lots of meds at any kid, but this seems to be having a major negative impact on her life.

Poor thing. I suffered from anxiety issues from an early age (mine were a result of trauma) ... it's awful.

I have my students for several years so I see any changes good or bad. We had one little boy a few years ago, totally well adjusted, who start doing this in 4th grade. By 5th grade everythig was good like nothing had ever happenend. The family worked hard on it all year long and it wasn't an easy 4th grade. What Ray said was what they did. A low dose anxiety medication and consitant work with the psychologist and school counselor. If any trauma happened it may not come out until several sessions. She will have to trust the counselor. But like my student it may not be any trauma. The counseling also helped the parents cope.

Charlotte

Unfortunately, at that age it can be a case of chemical changes.  She is starting puberty, and it might not be anything physical that happened, but just that she is going thru a big change and that it is effecting her personality. My daughter had this and we had some really rough times.  She did not want to do anything just stay in her bed and hide from the world.  She would go to school without changing clothes or brushing her hair if I let her. Thus some pretty big arguments.  But about 2 months after her 11th birthday you would never know that she was having that as an issue.  We are having the pre-teen arguments now.  ::)  

Anyway my suggestion, is if she is comfortable with her doctor / pediatrician, then set up an appointment and make sure that she is a part of the talk.  Mom talks about what she is concerned about and ask if the doctor knows a counselor who they like and trust. Hearing that they are someone that her doctor trusts, will make a huge difference in how fast she will start to talk to the counselor.  I don't like meds, for kids but I do know that sometimes they are needed.  But I did make sure that she was getting the best vitamins and such to help her body transition easier.

It sucks to not be able to help. As a mom, I find myself just wanting to make it all better. And my daughter is getting to the age where I have to let her fall on her ass because of her own choices and be there to help her sort it out, so that she learns this stuff before she is out on her own.

Jeannie, you are a good friend.
Tia

My daughter started having some anxiety issues a couple years ago.  She is an advanced gymnast and had started doing some of the more difficult stunts.  She also felt a tremondous amount of pressure to perform and please her coach and teamates.  She started having anxiety attacks at practice.  After many tearful rides home, I made an appointment with her Dr.  He put her on a mild sedative for her to take about an hour before practice.  It worked and I did not need to refill the Rx because her anxiety stopped.

During that time, I did notice a change in her personality.  She seemed depressed and I believe now it was due to all the changes her body was going through in addition to all the pressure she was putting on herself.  It is a hard age for a girl to go through. There are so many changes going on and some have a rougher time than others.  

Taking her to a Pediatrician that she is comfortable talking to would be the first step that I would take.  Poor girl, my heart goes out to her....

Beth