/Vent on

I want to rip my husband head off but I know it will do no good, and I Need to vent somewhere, so bear with me, please.

The end of June my son had a 103.5 fever for 2 days.  I called his pediatrician on day 2, his doc was out but the other ped doc was in. The nurse said that Cameron needed to be seen right away. Si Shaun took him to the office.  The doc refused to see him and told Shaun to make an appointment.  The earliest appointment available was a week later.  Shaun snapped.  Stared yelling at the Doctor and office staff telling them that they where completely incompetent and un-professional, etc...  The same medical group has a ped clinic across town and Shaun took him there.  It was a double ear infection and got him on meds, and it cleared up.  Then I get letters from the medical group on the 25th that my entire family are no longer patients of the Medical Group.  

To give you an idea of what my life was like right then. We had our entire house packed up with movers coming on the 27th at 9am.  I got the old apt cleaned Sunday, we turned in keys on the 30th and left on the 2nd for 10 days for AZ.  I got back in town the 12th and got to unpack my house.  I find the letters on the 13th.  And have been trying all week to find another doctor.  

Oh and on top of it. the doctor  called Family Services because she "feared for the safety of Cameron". So we got to have an appointment with them at the house to make sure that they and I where not being abused.  So I got to take a half day off work, this week, so that I could meet this gal at the house and she could talk to me ad the kids without Shaun there.  -  If she only realized that if my husband was the type of guy to do that, I would have killed his ass long ago.  ::)

Well needless to say I can't get an appointment anytime soon.  I have meds that need to get refilled and my old doctor will not even fill them one last time just so that I have enough to last me until I get a new doctor.  

And what is killing me is that 2 of the meds that have no refills on them are my Imitrex and my preventative.  The last time I ran out was because the pharmacy could not get their order in on time and I was slammed with k9's.   :'(

It's just Fricken annoying that my kids and I get punished because he lost his temper and now I feel like I'm starting to have a panic attack just thinking about running out.  >:(  

I will find a doctor.... I just have to 10 days worth of preventatives...

/vent off

Thanks all.  At least I got it out.  Now I can focus and get this done.

PF wishes to you all.
Tia

Regular doctors use appointments. Sometimes they're hard to get right away.

Has he never heard of an urgent care clinic?

Sorry, he was out of line.

Oh I totally agree with you, Brew.  

He and I have had this discussion multiple times. When he called me to tell me what happened, I asked him what the F did he think he was going to accomplish by acting like an ignorant a$$hole.  That as soon as he raised his voice no one was listening to him anymore and the fact that he cussed, only proves that there opinion is accurate.  And I am so god damn tired or cleaning up his messes because he acts like a spoiled child throwing a fit because he did not get his way.

I love him dearly, but his temper is the one thing that has almost split us up.  His family (Irish Dad and Sicilian Mother) had huge screaming matches and I am not one to deal with that shit.   I told him that this is it. I am tired of this shit and that if he can not control himself, then there is no reason for him to be involved in any aspect of the kids and my life that is outside the house.  

Tiannia wrote on Jul 17^th, 2008 at 7:17pm:

The nurse said that Cameron needed to be seen right away. Si Shaun took him to the office.  The doc refused to see him and told Shaun to make an appointment.

Unless im reading this wrong, Shaun was told to bring the kid in and when he did he was turned away.

If thats the case he had every right to freak, I would have!

Funny you should mention this Tia but I've had a (IMHO) somewhat bloody brilliant idea for how to off recalcitrant hubbies!

As far as I can tell it's foolproof and has a get out of jail free card attached.

Retroactive abortion.

Doing what (my) ex's mother SHOULD have done!

I've decided if I murder him and call it a retroactive abortion I can't be prosecuted as (rightly or wrongly) abortion is legal  :D

Paul say's I have too much time on my hands but I am rather partial to this little gem - whaddya think?!  ;)

wrote on Jul 17^th, 2008 at 7:55pm:

Tiannia wrote on Jul 17th, 2008 at 7:17pm: The nurse said that Cameron needed to be seen right away. Si Shaun took him to the office.  The doc refused to see him and told Shaun to make an appointment.   Unless im reading this wrong, Shaun was told to bring the kid in and when he did he was turned away. If thats the case he had every right to freak, I would have!

Be seen, yes. But be seen by whom, it doesn't say.

Tia, Shawn needs to learn that more can be accomplished in personal interaction by lowering one's voice than by raising it.

Innuendo and sarcasm can be extremely effective tools. So can over-the-top kindness.

The thing is Jonny is that the nurse said "You need to get him in right away." So I called Shaun and told him to take him into the office.  

When Shaun got there, the nurse said "I did not tell your wife to have him come here, just that he needed to be seen somewhere."  

So I can understand him getting pissed. But there are so many other ways that he could have handled this better and not left the entire family with out a PCP.  And when he has calmly and intelligently responded to situations like that he has even told me that I was ight, that he was able to get a workaround to happen and that he was happy with the end result, even if it was not exactly what he wanted.

Helen...  I love you.   :-*

Tiannia wrote on Jul 17^th, 2008 at 8:04pm:

The thing is Jonny is that the nurse said "You need to get him in right away." So I called Shaun and told him to take him into the office.   When Shaun got there, the nurse said "I did not tell your wife to have him come here, just that he needed to be seen somewhere."

The nurse was totally incompetent and unprofessional, saying your son needed to be seen right away, then changing her tune, saying not to have your son brought in, just that he needed to be seen right away somewhere.

What does she think you'd think? And then she doesn't suggest somewhere to take him? I'd be pissed off too, but I agree yelling at the staff was unproductive.

After that incident, it's probably best you don't go see them anymore, if their nurses are going to treat your family that way, and mis-inform you. What if your son had a more serious problem?

I hope you can find a new doc soon. Check your pm's.

The end of June my son had a 103.5 fever for 2 days.  I called his pediatrician on day 2, his doc was out but the other ped doc was in. The nurse said that Cameron needed to be seen right away. Si Shaun took him to the office.

You called the pediatrician....the nurse told you he needed to be seen right away....what did you then tell Shaun? To take him in?

The man sounds like he followed directions and cares about his child.

KJ wrote on Jul 17^th, 2008 at 8:22pm:

The man sounds like he followed directions and cares about his child.

BINGO!

I have had the occasion to take my children to the doctor now and then.

When I encounter situations like that, I get discussed too. I let my wife do the calling.
She can rip them in an antagonizing manor for far longer than a few choice words from me could ever do!

Roland.

Jonny has a good point...

On the other hand, this is the kind of fecal material we are stuck with so far in the 21st century. No one is allowed to deviate from specific procedure or use a little initiative when dealing with paitents, customers and more. They've become like recorded telephone messages. Everything is the same and any variant or special consideration is verboten.

I have to say thing I've lost it a couple times myself.

Charlie

I don't know. I've always been able to catch more flies with honey than I have with vinegar. And I've tried both. It's not about health care or insurance or clinics or doctors or nurses or secretaries. It's about relating to human beings.

wrote on Jul 17^th, 2008 at 9:29pm:

I don't know. I've always been able to catch more flies with honey than I have with vinegar. And I've tried both. It's not about health care or insurance or clinics or doctors or nurses or secretaries. It's about relating to human beings.

If my wife TOLD me to bring my kid to OUR doctor and I was turned away I would fucking freak!

Looks to me like husband bashing here.....LOL  ;D

KJ wrote on Jul 17^th, 2008 at 8:22pm:

The man sounds like he cares about his child.

Oh that goes without saying.  He was more pissed about the fact that not having him "seen right away" was endangering Cameron.  

Goddess help anyone who ever hurts the kids or I.  He is a very intense person, and it does not help that he is 6 foot and weighs 230.  Most people are intimidated by him before he ever says a word.  And as soon as his voice raises, then anyone that was on the borderline of feeling intimidates goes right off the edge to thinking that he is threatening to kill people.  it just amazes me when I have seen it.  That is why I tell him that he needs to surprise people by acting calm and intelligent.  Then they will typically bend over backwards to help him out.

What honestly frustrated me at the time was that Shaun did not understand or realize that by acting like he did Cameron was still not getting seen.  Where if he just would have asked where Cameron could be seen right away and got the address to the ped clinic, then 2 hours would not have passed, we would have have a Family Services file on my husband and then we could have changed doctors at our leisure.

wrote on Jul 17^th, 2008 at 9:40pm:

Looks to me like husband bashing here.....LOL  ;D

Well he likes it rough, but I dont think that is what you were referring to.  ;D

wrote on Jul 17^th, 2008 at 8:41pm:

I have had the occasion to take my children to the doctor now and then. When I encounter situations like that, I get discussed too. I let my wife do the calling. She can rip them in an antagonizing manor for far longer than a few choice words from me could ever do! Roland.

;)  The power of a woman.  [smiley=smartass.gif]

Tiannia wrote on Jul 17^th, 2008 at 9:42pm:

wrote on Jul 17th, 2008 at 9:40pm: Looks to me like husband bashing here.....LOL  ;D Well he likes it rough, but I dont think that is what you were referring to.  ;D

TMI... TMI   ;D

The way I'm reading this - the child DID need medical attention - he had an infection that did need treating IMMEDIATELY.

The Clinic (IMO) was dead WRONG (the child needed to be SEEN NOW NOT LATER) and I don't blame Shaun for getting upset. Maybe there was a better way to handle it, but when your child is hurting and sick sometimes you're just not as "reasonable" as you are when it's something else.

They should HAVE SEEN the child!!!!! (I can sit here and get mad about that just thinking about it.)

And I know about the flies and honey (my mother told me often enough :)) but when it comes to a sick child and a snotty nurse.... sorry I'm with Shaun... take care of my child and do it NOW!

Sorry, but my attorney would probably have written them a letter explaining the error of their ways and THEN I would have found a new doc.....

Hope everything works out...

Hugs BD

Quote:

They should HAVE SEEN the child!!!!! (I can sit here and get mad about that just thinking about it.) And I know about the flies and honey (my mother told me often enough ) but when it comes to a sick child and a snotty nurse.... sorry I'm with Shaun... take care of my child and do it NOW!

Nope. That's what Urgent Care is for. How many of us would walk into our Primary Care Physician's office and demand to be seen immediately.

There are certain protocols that need to be followed in the medical community, and that's one of them. If the child's need for care was that immediate, they should have been at an Urgent Care clinic or a hospital emergency room.

when our pediatrician says to bring one of the kids over to be seen right away, we bring the child over and they are seen by the doctor.  Now there was apparently some misinterpretation but if i am the doctor and a child comes in with a high fever, I'll say take a seat and we'll get to you when we can.  THe sad part here is you are with out your meds and you should be pissed off.  But I have to agree with Johnny.  Now I may be a hot head myself so I may have reacted the same way.  I would be even more pissed about about THEIR reaction  with notifying family services.  Are you kidding me???  For some reason I have come across alot of attitude from people in the medical profession.  ITo answer your question, I don't think this is the situation where you would be justifed in harming your husband.  Sorry about this ordeal you are going through.

How's the child doing now?

I would never harm my husband.  ;) He just frustrates me, because I do have a different temperament and would have handled it differently. But I think that every couple has those situations. Shaun thinks that I let people walk all over me, because I do not pin people ears when they pull crap like that.  But I dont yell, when I get pissed.  I get very very quiet.  Shaun tells the kids that when I get like that to head to shelter because hurricane mom is going to blow.

And it is not even him I am mad at at this time, it is the damn doctor, because I saw my PCP 3 days before this happened and he knew that my CH meds did not have refills on them. I watched him write that into the notes from my office visit. So to tell me that he will not ok one months worth ....  [smiley=bash.gif]  I'm still trying to figure out the best way to address that.  But first things first I have to get my records out of them and get a new doc.

Cameron is fine after 5 days on the meds his fever stopped coming back at all.  It made the plane ride down to Tucson hard on him, but he did great.

Thanks for letting me vent. I was up till about 1 last night digging thru the Pref providers. We'll see how quickly they can get a new patient in.

I Love you Clusterville.   :-*

Guess my attitude comes from a "small" town. Everyone knows everyone and if we need to see the doc we walk in and say "I need to see the doc" and "no problem". A couple of times I have called him at home and told him to meet me at the ER (emergency only and he knew it was a definite emergency cause I don't take advantage and I don't panic).

But having a doc refuse to refill a script he knows you need is unacceptable.  Even for a big city....

Hope things work out and soon....

Hugs BD

Child/family services was notified that your child might be being abused because he has an ear infection !?!?!?!?

Did I read that right???

Dave :-?

Yes, I did read that right...other than it was a "double" ear infection...whatever that is.

Your doctors who ratted you out to the incompetent wankers at family services sounds like he was just pissed and trying to punish you.

I would call his medical board and report him for bearing false witness.

Surely that type of behavior is not acceptable in the medical community no matter how angry he was at your husband.

 I personally wouldn't have made a scene in the office. I would have voiced my displeasure in private with the responsible staff member(s)

But turning you in for something you didnt do was completely unprofessional.  I would do something about that.

Cheers, Dave

Dave,

Family Services said that the doctor reported us because she "feared" for my son safety.  But after talking to each of the kids individually in the bedroom and alone with me as well, she determined that no one was in danger or abused in our home. She stated that my husbands behavior is not appropriate and that he needs to learn what is appropriate."  

I asked the gal and she said that she has to contact the family within 48 hours of the complaint. So this meant that the doctor did not even call them for 2 weeks.  So you are totally right that it was just them being a dick and not because they honestly "feared for Cameron's safety."

It is just crap...............