Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant
like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?   ;)

Jonny my love -- you've got waaay too much time on your hands today... :-* :-*

Hugs BD

BarbaraD wrote on Jul 26^th, 2008 at 3:16pm:

Jonny my love -- you've got waaay too much time on your hands today... :-* :-* Hugs BD

This one is for you, Mom.  :-*

At income tax time, did you ever notice: When
you put the two words   'The' and 'IRS' together it spells...
                                           'THEIRS'?

And most of the time it is.... :) You're just full of vinegar today aren't you?

BarbaraD wrote on Jul 26^th, 2008 at 3:20pm:

You're just full of vinegar today aren't you?

You bet I am....LMAO!!!  :D

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does
that mean that one enjoys it?

LMAO

And did YOU know that 95% of all statistics are made up on the spot?

I like this....LOL

If people from Poland are called Poles, why
aren't people from Holland called Holes?  ;D

And how come you DRIVE on the Parkway and PARK in the DRIVEway

BarbaraD wrote on Jul 26^th, 2008 at 3:33pm:

And how come you DRIVE on the Parkway and PARK in the DRIVEway

I blame the libs for that one.....LOL  ;)

Why do croutons come in airtight packages?
Aren't they  just stale bread to begin with?  :D

Why is it called a pair of pants and it's only a bra?   ;D

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they
call it Fed UP?  :D

Has there been a serving of some type of crazy juice here today because I missed out on mine!!

Gimme some too!

:D

Em wrote on Jul 26^th, 2008 at 4:39pm:

Has there been a serving of some type of crazy juice here today because I missed out on mine!! Gimme some too! :D

Yeah, wacko jacko stopped by with some Jesus juice.  ;)

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?  :D

Quote:

Yeah, wacko jacko stopped by with some Jesus juice.

You really are on fire today!!

::)

You have to wonder why it takes 4 hours of serious work to open a CD while you have to search shelves in the store to make sure you get a lightbulb that might work if you treat it like nitro glycerin?

Charlie

How many MEN does it take to put a roll of toliet paper on a roller?

Who knows - it's never been tried....

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00
apiece on those little bottles of Evian water?
                           Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE  :D

2 wrongs don't make a right. 3 rights make a left. :D

This is like a bad Steven Wright set at the Comedy connection.

Hi, I'm Bucky Goldstein!

Isnt it strange how the US major political parties are represented by the elephant and donkey.... I think if it was my choice, I would have gone for a Lion or an owl.

BarbaraD wrote on Jul 26^th, 2008 at 5:38pm:

How many MEN does it take to put a roll of toliet paper on a roller? Who knows - it's never been tried....

whats the point. it's just going to end up in the toilet anyways.

FramCire wrote on Jul 26^th, 2008 at 9:37pm:

This is like a bad Steven Wright set at the Comedy connection. Hi, I'm Bucky Goldstein! Isnt it strange how the US major political parties are represented by the elephant and donkey.... I think if it was my choice, I would have gone for a Lion or an owl.

ben franklin wanted the turkey instead of a bald eagle to be our national bird . then aaron tippon (or who ever that was) would have wrote a song called "stars and stripes, where the turkey flies" :D

So - if the plural of tooth is teeth

How come the plural of booth isn't beeth?

Just askin' is all! ;)

Apparently I have too much time on my hands as well.

Carol

Why would you need a plural for tooth?  (Sorry, I live in the Ozarks where the average person has a tattoo to tooth ratio well over 10 tatts for each tooth)

I once bought powdered water but I didn't know what to add.  Then I bought batteries but they weren't included.  At least my apartment lets us have pets, I got a pony.

Thank you very much, Ill be here all week.  ;D ;D  :D  :D

OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known
as the 'Jags' and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known  as the 'Bucs,' what does
that make the Tennessee Titans?  :D

Know why I didn't become a doctor?

I didn't have any patience!

There are three religious truths:
                                 a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
                                 b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as
the leader of the Christian faith.
                                 c. Baptists do not recognize each other in
the liquor store or Hooters.  :D

I love this thread... ;D

And maybe people from Germany should be called Germs.  ;D

maalstroom wrote on Jul 28^th, 2008 at 6:27am:

And maybe people from Germany should be called Germs.  ;D

Du Limburger Kase fresser du! [smiley=yikes.gif] [smiley=yikes.gif]

Why are they called hemorrhoids?

Shouldn't they be called asteroids?

jimmers

I thought about how mothers feed their babies
with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use?  toothpicks?  :D

Us folks from the South have noticed that Yankees are a lot like hemmorids - when they come down and go back up they're tolerable...

But when they come down and stay they're just a pain in the a$$...

What happens to a man beaten half to death..... twice?

maalstroom wrote on Jul 29^th, 2008 at 5:10pm:

What happens to a man beaten half to death..... twice?

He's three-quarters dead?

I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'....

Two vultures board an airplane; each is carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."   :D

with warm regards,
Tony

<a href="START PRINTPAGEMultimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to or END PRINTPAGE" target="_blank"><img src="START PRINTPAGEMultimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to or END PRINTPAGE" border="0" alt="learn chinese"></a>




Oh I'm sorry, thought the pick would show up here..... anyway, click the learnchinese link, it made me laugh out loud.

folks, I have been laughing all morning!! thanks for the giggles. what a great way to start my first day off in a week.    Tuck