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Message started by Tiannia on Jul 27th, 2008 at 3:17am

Title: Damn head
Post by Tiannia on Jul 27th, 2008 at 3:17am
I have not had a hit over a K6 in months.  My preventative keeps them to tolerable, when I do get breakthrough's

But all damn day I've been fighting this bastard. Fucking heavy hard shadows all damn day, my eye swelling, sweats, the whole damn dance and I just did not know when he was going to really start playing and was just trying to have a day outside with my kids.  >:(

At 5 I cooked them dinner and I ended up letting them watch a movie while I paced and rocked in my room.  I forgot how crapping trex makes me feel.  It took a K8 to tolerable and then about 8pm I got slammed again.  Hard enough that i took me to my knees and I had to call my daughter to get my trex.   :-/

Took another trex shot...  And am on the down side of it now but fuck... I feel like I just went 3 rounds in the UFC.  And what makes it worse is to see my kids tip toeing around me asking if they can help.  I always hat that part of this.  :'(  When I put my son to bed and said blessing with him. He put his hand on my head, asking the God and Goddess to make my head better...

Fuck I hate this bastard. I hate what it does to me but what it does to my entire family.  There are times...  

ok there is tomorrow (hopefully will take the kids for a bike ride)  and I'm going to try and sleep and hopefully wont get hit tonight.  

Blessed Be, Clusterville.  
Maybe hi, deciding that he wanted to get re-acquainted tonight allowed someone else some peace.

PF Wishes.
Tia

Title: Re: Damn head
Post by DennisM1045 on Jul 27th, 2008 at 9:56am
I hate it for you Tia.  Seeing your pain reflected in the eyes of a child is hard to take.  Sounds like you have some great kids though.

I hope the bastard leaves you alone so you can enjoy the bike ride.

[smiley=hug.gif]

-Dennis-

Title: Re: Damn head
Post by artonio7 on Jul 28th, 2008 at 12:01pm
Hang in there Tia...

You're in my thoughts and prayers.

with warm regards,
Tony

Title: Re: Damn head
Post by thebbz on Jul 28th, 2008 at 12:17pm
Hoping today is better. Go away you bastard demon. >:(
all the best
thebb

Title: Re: Damn head
Post by barry_sword on Jul 28th, 2008 at 12:32pm
Sorry Tia. Vibes and prayers going out to you.

Title: Re: Damn head
Post by echo on Jul 28th, 2008 at 1:17pm
Sorry you're getting nailed Tia.  Hang tough, kick the SOBs arz.

Hope you're PF soon.

Title: Re: Damn head
Post by Tiannia on Jul 28th, 2008 at 1:19pm
Hi guys.

Sunday I was just wiped, just heavy shadows all day. Might have been rebounds from the Trex. Its like a catch 22. Take the trex and chance getting arebound or dont take it, and go crazy.  I just did not want to move.

I love my kids.We sat inside and played play station.    They are great. About 7:30 Shaun got home, we ate dinner and I took the kids outside to play.  

I do have great kids.  Shara can look at me and see that I am getting a headache.  Cameron says that my hugs feel weird when I get one.  That I'm hard.  But he still gives me hugs over and over to "make it better".  I think that is what hurts worse then anything CH does to me.  

It makes me hate it more, and make me fight it harder.  Bastard might take a day from  me, but I make sure to enjoy everyday that it is not with me, just to prove that I am the one that wins.

Was able to sleep last night without any unwanted visitors.  And woke up without even a shadow.  

I love you guys. May we all find peace, rest and  happiness against everything that this Bastard throws at us.

PF Wishes Cluster Family
Tia

Title: Re: Damn head
Post by mummymac on Jul 28th, 2008 at 1:36pm
Tia hoping today was better for you :)

Title: Re: Damn head
Post by Cathi_Pierce on Jul 28th, 2008 at 2:08pm
Tia, Your kids are giving you exactly what you would give them.....love during a particularly difficult time. I feel sorry for ALL of you-that the Beast shares your home, but, it is what it is........hey, I'd take a Sat or  Sun for you, give you the day to enjoy life and family, but, sadly, that  won't happen, coz the Beast doesn't share that way.damn.........
Please, though, look at another die of  this......you are raising very compassionate children, who have SEEN extreme pain, and KNOW that you need love and understanding. They will take this with them all their lives............so, yes, I am sorry YOU get hit, I am sorry the CHILDREN are a part of it..........but, girl, you've done something VERY right ......I think your children are something very special!
I sure hope today is PF for you, and the beast has moved on........
HUgs for you and your lovely lil ones!
Cathi

Title: Re: Damn head
Post by Tiannia on Jul 28th, 2008 at 5:48pm
Thank you everyone.  It is amazing how much it helps to come somewhere where people understand.

Today has been good.  

What CH has taught me is to not worry about tomorrow.  Take each day as it comes, with or without the Beast.  Either way I'm going to do everything I can with my kids, hell, with my life.  If I give up, the daemon wins, and as my husband so eloquently puts it, "he can suck my hairy left butt cheek." ok well mines not hairy, but you get the idea.  ;)

My kids are extremely intelligent and sympathetic.  And are a blessing that I would never give up.  Some days are rough.. but in the end, I know that we are stronger because of it.

Love and Light Tia

Title: Re: Damn head
Post by Sophia on Jul 29th, 2008 at 2:00pm
I hope your family and you are better. I dont have kids but I know my boyfriend sure gets upset when I have a CH attack. I have begged the God and Goddess myself and have had my prayers answered in a good neurologist, Imitrex, O2 and a boyfriend who is smart enough to leave me alone during an attack unless he has to come and sit on my out of fear I may take a flying lesson with no wings down to the driveway. That happens during a Kip 8 or higher. I keep saying over and over 'Demon, demon go away and play with someone else today--- like a convicted ax murderer or something' and it still shows up. Wishing you and yours a pain free fun time. Sophia 8-)

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