Hello, everyone, I'm new to the website, but not new to clusterheadaches. I first got diagnosed 8 years ago, but there are serious indications that I've been suffering from them for a bit longer than that. I'm now 30 years old, and I've just entered the second cluster since diagnosis, after almost 7,5 years of remission. I realise from reading some of the stories on this board that I am one of the lucky ones, with long remission times and a relatively short episode. My first episode since diagnosis was roughly 8 weeks long, with about two attacks per week of about 45 minutes per attack. Each attack was about an 8 or 9 Kip attack, and I found a small measure of relief from the subcutaneous injections of Imitrex I got.

Last saturday another cluster started, but the attack was exceptionally short, about twenty minutes. Since saturday I've had two more attacks, and have since gotten the Imagren nasal spray, but that stuff just doesn't work fast enough and isn't giving me any relief. The attacks are again in the 8/9 Kip range.

One of the irregularities of my attacks seems to be the lack of tearing of my eye (though they do tear due to crying) and the lack of a running nose. Also, I sometimes vomit from pain, and on occassion, usually when in a public place or when it's otherwise inconvenient, I get panic attacks that lead me to blacking out from the pain. When I panic I can't seem to keep myself under control, and I can't calm myself down enough to keep from blacking out.

I know that a lot of you might read this and know several dozens of examples much worse than mine, and perhaps think that I should praise myself lucky to have such long remission times, such short attacks, and such short episodes, but as can be expected, it doesn't quite feel that way, even though I have intellectually come to the same conclusions.

I don't have many of the social problems that accompany this affliction; everyone is very understanding and willing to help out. Today I had an attack at work for the first time and my colleagues were all very respectful, helpful and understanding, even though it freaked them out to hear my cry out the way I did. In the end, even when they say they understand, I can see they don't truly understand, which frustrates me sometimes. My girlfriend, my family, my friends, they all just don't quite get it. I think that this lack of understanding is what forced me to sign up and say hello, at least most of you will understand.

In the meantime, I try to lead a normal life and battle my way through this episode. If the previous episode is anything to go by, I think it might take about six weeks, give or take a week, in which my mantra seems to be; "Pain is temporary. Pain is temporary. Pain is temporary." Although I realise that for some of you it isn't, forgive me, it's the way I deal with it in order to keep my sanity.

The relationships I have had with the two doctors that examined me, first 8 years ago, and now several days back, has been very pleasant. They were both knowledgable on the subject and while the first took a while to diagnose me as a clusterhead, manage to get there within a week or two, after the mandatory MRI, etc. It didn't help that I had been in his office before and since then quite a bit for shock-trauma due to the contact sports I do (MMA, mostly). He initially figured it must've been a result of whiplash from a punch, kick or slam, but finally, after having collated all the information, settled on CH's.

So yeah...eh...hi! How are you guys and gals doing?

If you take this approach seriously and practice you can do mucho about the anxiety!
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Are you satisfied with your headache doc and the treatments you are using? If not, get back with specific questions.
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Re. your third para: little variations in the experience of CH is common. The  diagnostic model you read is an ideal; most folks have some differences--it's the overall pattern which makes for the correct Dx.

I want to thank you for linking (and perhaps even writing) that, Bob. It's giving me some food for thought and a different point of view on suffering. I have developed my own methods of dealing with the pain, but a lot of the suffering, disconnected from the actual pain, is something I haven't been able to give a place, yet. Not just my own suffering, but the suffering of others around me who have to deal with the frustration of not being able to do anything.

I am of the opinion that head pain sucks, no matter how often ... I don't think you should be worried that people here think you're "lucky."  Lucky would be not having any headaches of any kind.

Welcome to the boards.   :)

Thanks for saying that, because perusing this messageboard has made me felt a bit...inadequate due to the relatively "mild" nature of my CHs than many others here, and the validation is very welcome, because there's nobody that really understands it but you guys.

Nice to meet you. im Coach Bill 40m in Ohio, sorry to welcome you back. CH is CH.. you should never have to say sorry for how bad your CH didnt hurt. Your one of us, and your feedback is welcome at all times, i've been in remission for about 6 months, and i come here everyday!! Sometimes i only read, other times i respond to posts. Although lately i have not posted, if i were i know i would be treated kindly and get the best advise from people who REALLY DO KNOW what im dealing with. Please keep posting and stay involved with the site, and help those who need help. Thanks and i hope the beast leaves ya soon. Coach Bill

hi DV8, and welcome.

I don't have the runny nose and major tearing either, just stuffy nose and a bit watery eye ( the snot and tears came when I started to cry from the pain). Whatever, we're all uniquely the same: clusterheads.

Im sure many here fully understand that initial "oh gawd here it comes again!!" panic at each new attack, but you will find ways to overcome that feeling. Knowing how to fight back and having a good arsenal of abortives on hand is POWER. And power gives you back the control.

Please read the medical info page, as well as Chuck's o2 information on the Medications, Treatments, and Therapies page. Print out the info and together with your dr, you can find a good plan of action to deal with the cycle.

Again, welcome to the site  [smiley=wave.gif]

Welcome, DV8. I like your handle.

Do not feel the least bit guilty about possibly having it easy. We're all humans, we all feel pain, and we're all going to die. None of us have it easy. There are a few around here who belittle migraine sufferers because they think they're in some kind of warped pain contest. I have told each of them to take a flying fuck at the moon. Pain is pain, and it is very real for each of us. I would never denigrate anyone who is suffering, and I don't think you would either.

I only get the teary eye/runny nose during my most intense hits, so don't feel like you're some kind of freak. It's either that or I am some kind of freak, and while there are a few around here who would attempt to confirm that, I would maintain that I'm not.

Anywhoo, sorry you're here, but glad that you found us. You are now amongst bretheren.

Bill