Okay guys.  I totally flipped out on Phil today for no good reason expect that I was in a bitchy mood and took it out on him.  Not to soon after he got a really bad hit.  Then while he's dealing with that I start crying like a big baby because I blame myself for bringing it on by being such a bitch.  Not really what he needed when he's dealing with a kip 8.  I feel like I let him down because I broke down so bad during his attack.  This isn't the first time that I have blamed myself.
Has this ever happened to anyone else?  I just really feel like a big shit right now.

BTW - I was pissed about the vacuum cleaner, how effen stupid is that?

Love, Hugs and Kisses  :-*

Jen

OK, Toots....listen here.  First of all you didn't make Phil have a headache....anymore than you can keep him from having one.

I'm thinking you probably just had a meltdown when he was getting hit....all from the stress, helpless feeling and probably blaming yourself too.  Don't beat yourself up for being human.....there ain't nuttin' you can do about that either.... ;)

Fussing some and being pissed about a vacuum or whatever is normal......it's just being human again.  You can't walk around on eggshells and live in fear that your every move is gonna cause a hit.  You don't want Phil to live like that either.  Remember how thrilled you were when he went to the golf course. :)

It's just tough, Sweetie.....you all get tired and tired people get cranky sometimes.

Now.....dry your eyes and go give Phil a hug....Ok.  It'll all be fine...

Much Love to you both,
Jackie

oh dear Jen you didn't cause that hit, it was just circumstance.
i sent you a pm.
your allowed to have feelings, just make sure Phil doesn't feel like he needs to hide the pain cause i can tell you personally that it hurts us more.
your the best thing in Phil's life. just wait till phil and i are together then you can baby both of us ;D

Jen,
when the beast settles in, he always brings his own brand of stress. He WANTS to break you down, he ENJOYS ruining your life.......and it's soo easy to play into his hands!
Please don't allow him to interfere! you and Phil have a strong relationship-and, Jen, an outburst is understandable, don't blame yourself! OK?
Besides, if you kick Phil, it'll hurt...... if you kick the vacuum, you'll have to get it fixed.....take a deep breath, take a nice soakey bath and resume your life! Don't allow the beast to wreck that!
BTW- how's Phil doing with the 02?
Hugs for both of you! :D
Cathi

You're a classy lady, he's a damned lucky man to have a supporter like you. If an occasional outburst is the worst you have to offer he's a doubly lucky man! [smiley=hug.gif]

Guiseppi

(Who is blessed with a supporter much like you!)

Thanks guys.  You sure know how to make a girl feel better!!!!!  You guys are the best.  I don't know how I survived before coming here.  I know it's not my fault, but like Jackie said I'm human.  I want to blame something or someone and at that moment it was blaming myself.  I just wish that damned beast would go away and leave everyone alone.  Dirty little bastard.

I need to take me a bubble bath vacation  [smiley=bath.gif]  Right after I make my man some supper.

I love you guys and thanking for taking us into this wonderful family with open arms.  I can't wait to meet you in person.

Love, Hugs and Kisses  :-*

Jen

Quote:

I just wish that damned beast would go away and leave everyone alone.  Dirty little bastard.

Took the words right out of my mouth.
Demon $%^er#^^&(**)sombit#$&#*^*er.!!!
Well there's alway's making up. [smiley=girlflash.gif]
Dont be too hard on yourself.
thebb

OOOOOHHHHHHH!!!!!  Flashing my man might just make him forget about that demon.  Maybe we're onto something here  ;)  If only it were that simple, huh?  LMAO ;)  ;D

Jen

Quote:

Flashing my man might just make him forget about that demon.

Life is short, live it like ya stole it.  :D
all the best
thebb

Thanks for the tips to my wife Thebbz, I am willing to try this in the name of science :o [smiley=sayyes.gif]   Phil

Lightem up and good luck with the science project.[smiley=smokin.gif] [smiley=inlove.gif] [smiley=inlove.gif] [smiley=inlove.gif] [smiley=inlove.gif] [smiley=inlove.gif] [smiley=inlove.gif] [smiley=inlove.gif] [smiley=thumbsup.gif] [smiley=thumbsup.gif]

Hee.he..he.he
;)

I am completly speechless.  That's very unusual for me.   ;D  LMAO

Love, Hugs and Flashing  [smiley=girlflash.gif] [smiley=ops.gif] I meant Kisses  :-*

Jen

Hmm, I wonder if being on the end of having the cluster headaches, if flashing people might relieve them?!

If nothing else, the amusement might be distracting.

On a serious note, my boyfriend had been in a bad mood one day of his visit, then got upset and kept apologizing when a cluster hit me a little while later... He assumed it was the stress. I had to point out
"Honey, look at the TIME. It's 4, I've been having them every day at 4. You've saw me have them every day at 4, this is not your fault."

He calmed down when he realized I was right. I've never had stress or someone upsetting me trigger one, at all. So try to keep that worry out of your head. If you need to blame something...blame your shirt! It's in the way of helping the flashing relief. XD

Hi Jen

I know it is hard to deal with. But you did not cause the hit. We are human and sometimes we have bad days too.

Don't beat yourself up about it and move on, tell him you love him no matter what.

Hugs to you

Hi Pixie and Angie!!!!!!

Oh if it could only be so simple to whip my shirt up for my man.  He does get quite a kick out of me.  I'm a total nutjob.  LMAO  :D  Not certifiable, but close.  HEHEHE!!!!!

I know that I didn't acutally cause it, but sometimes it's hard not to blame yourself.  You know what I mean?  Pixie, your right about the time, that damned beast shows up like clockwork.  It was in the time frame, plus he had been outside working and it was warm and he was getting dehydrated.  

I try not to beat myself up over it.  Sometimes it's hard to watch the one you love suffer so much.  You just want to blame something or someone.  You want to be able to take on their pain, just to give them some PF time.  

I certainly do love my man no matter what.  He's the greatest!!!!

Love, Hugs and Kisses  :-*

Jen