Hey everyone,

Today it's been a full year since my headaches began. They have gone on and on, with 2-6 hits per day, of fluctuating intensity and symptoms. I'm writing this too while a yet another nightly hit is slowly going away.

When I think of the year back, it's been a hell of a ride. I didn't really understand people with chronic pain before, was in a hurry to get my own life forward, study, work, etc. The CH has really changed a lot of that. I sincerely think that my view of life is much wider now. If I ever make it to the med school, that's something I'm going to be very thankful for.

At first I used to get these nonstop shadows which slowly built up to CH hits. I was bewildered, depressed and very scared. What if I have a brain tumour? Am I going to die? Will I be in pain for the rest of my life? Why can't or won't the doctors help me? After a while I got connected with this very sympathetic doctor with whom we tried a lot of medications, including oxygen, to no effect. The hits kept on coming, relentless, merciless and nothing short of Prednisolon would change it. Lately, though, I've got 2 hits per day instead of the 4-5 I got in the beginning of the year and the shadows have been much easier to deal with. Personally I think a lot of the positive change has to do with my changed attitude about life.

To the people who fear of going chronic I have something to say: It's definitely NOT the end of the world.  You can still laugh, cry, go on with life between the hits. I absolutely live for that time and can't wait for the hits to be over when they come. Give yourself time to deal with things and don't rush with life. Not everything has to be done here and now - stress is a CH trigger for many of us. The anxiety and depression will come and finding solace in the little things of life is something that will be of huge help to you. Another such thing is this community :)

Anyways, as I have to go to work in 5 or so hours, I think I'm going back to bed ;) ...my best regards to all of you and may you have as much pain-free time as possible!

- Rosa

Rosa,
With your attitude and your committment to live between the hits,you will certainly be a victor over CH. By victor I do not mean "having cured CH."  I mean being able to get up every morning and take everyday, every hour, every minute as it comes.  Not living in fear or anxiety about when the next CH is going to hit.  Sounds to me like you will do just fine. :)
I am sorry though-I remember when I hit the year mark and I was freaked out enough to be in denial until it had been 18 months of daily CH.

PFHAM (PFhours and minutes) y'all
kathy

Rosa,

that was a wonderful post! :)

I'm sorry that you're officially chronic now... [smiley=hug.gif]

But I do hope that many will read your post, because they will get important tools to deal with ch - attitude makes a difference, venting is okay, there is always hope and most of all - there is a life between the hits!

And reading about your experiences brought back many memories from these few years I've lived with ch. It was actually great to look back on the good, the bad and the painful and understand how much this illness has brought with it. The hits make it hell, but the people make it heaven.

Wishing everyone PF time,
Sanna

Hi Rosa,

Thank you for sharing your in-sight!  I wish for you many pain free times!  

Love and hugs,

Jeannie

Hi Rosa!!!

What a well written beautiful post.  You stay positive.

Sorry that your now chronic  [smiley=hug.gif]

Hugs and Kisses and PFDAN,

Jen

Keep that attitude kiddo.... It'll get ya thru the bad times and let you laugh thru the fun times....

Hugs BD

Rosa,

You inspire me.  Thank you for your wonderful post...

-Dennis-

Thank you so much everyone :)

- Best of everything to you,
Rosa

Keep up the good attitude.  Its been three years chronic for me,  I just keep thinking its a really long cycle and every time I have a pfd I still get excited thinking maybe the cycle is done.  Being chronic makes evey minute pf that much better.  Hang in there.       Phil