I was talking to Svenn, a short while ago, and he told me that I HAVE to post this latest episode in “The Life and Times of ClusterChuck”.  The whole time that I was telling him about this, he was laughing his ass off!  HOW DARE HE? (I guess it was actually the right response from him, as it got me from being pissed off, to seeing the humor in the story.  Just never tell him that I said he was right!)

Anyhow, I was scheduled to get admitted (as outpatient) in the cardio unit, for a “tilt table” test.  This is a test, where they strap you to a table, hook up all sorts of wires and hoses, and then tilt the table up and back to see if you get dizzy or pass out (a problem that I have had for the past few months).

As usual, as soon as I got in there, I told them of my need for oxygen, at 15LPM, with a non-rebreathing mask, etc., etc., etc …  The normal stuff that I ALWAYS tell them, as soon as I get into a medical facility.  They said, no problem, and that they had everything right there, if the need arises.

OK, so I get into the room, get up on the table, and they hook up all the wires, IV, blood pressure cuff (an automatic one) and start the test.  I get half way through the test, and then they tell me that they will now give me some nitroglycerin for the next part of the test.

RED FLAG !!!!!

I proceed to explain why I can’t take nitro.  They tell me that the test cannot be completed, without doing this step, and besides, this is a new type, a spray, that does not cause headaches.  I try to explain that these are not “just headaches” and are of a whole different breed.

Well, long story, short: They convinced me to take the nitro.  (How STUPID can I get?  I KNOW better!)

Well, we finish the test, and they take me back into my room, where they hook me back up to all the wires and automatic blood pressure cuff, again (no IV).  I guess you know who came to visit, within a few minutes of getting back to the room ... the BEAST!  And he is PISSED OFF at being called into play by means of the nitro!  After mashing the shit out of the call button, over and over, they came rushing in to get me on oxygen.  Naturally, they come at me with the nose canula … I THOUGHT I was being polite, in telling them what I needed, but from the looks on their faces, I guess I wasn’t too polite.  Well they get me the non-rebreather, and I start sucking it down, and realize that there are no flapper valves on the sides of the mask!  No problem, I rip the mask off, and stuff the valve (with the bag attached) into my mouth and start sucking away.  They then proceed to start telling me that I am doing it all wrong.  By this time, I am at about a KIP 7/8, and still building.  

Well, I guess I failed this part of schooling in “Miss Manner’s Class of Charm and Etiquette”.  I said something very similar to: “After 29 FUCKING years of dealing with this SHIT, I think I know how to take some FUCKING oxygen!  Now get the FUCK out of here, before I rip your arm off, and shove it up your ASS!”

I don’t think Miss Manners would have approved.

They somehow got the message and left (most likely to put the SWAT team on standby readiness).

I soon realized, at a KIP9+, that the oxygen was not doing the trick, so I pulled out my trex (that, as you know, with my heart, I am not suppose to take) and shot up some GOOD drugs!  I even took a full shot, because at that stage there was no way I would have been able to give a partial shot.

I then realized that my arm (with the automatic blood pressure cuff) was feeling strange.  I looked at it, and it was puffy and PURPLE in color!  I guess, with these auto cuffs, if it does not read what it wants to, it keeps pumping up, and waiting, and then pumping up more and more, and what with my thrashing, I guess it wasn’t seeing what it liked.  I ripped the cuff off, which, of course, set off an alarm, and then the goon squad came rushing back in.  They wanted to know why I took the cuff off, and when I showed them my arm, and gave them a few “choice” words, they decided that it wasn’t QUITE the right time to re-attach the cuff, and left the room.  (One sweet young gal almost passed out when she saw the sharp line, where the cuff ended, and the look of my arm.)

Well, after fifteen or so minutes (I guess) the beast, grudgingly, left.

The medical staff decided that I might be in a slightly better mood, so they came back in, and hooked me back up again. (I had also ripped some of the wire leads loose, in my thrashing.)

A short time later, the doctor came in and told me that the test results came back negative, but they could not discharge me, as my blood pressure was way too high.  I tried to explain that when I came in, my BP was 125 over 82, and that I had just gone through a bad hit, that THEY caused, and I was forced to take ‘trex, and it was no wonder that my BP was high.

Well, they would not let me out, which got me more and more pissed off, which of course kept my BP in the sky rocket range.  After three hours of keeping me there, I don’t know if my silver tongue convinced them, or they were just afraid for their safety if they kept me any longer, they discharged me.

Isn’t being a clusterhead a lot of fun?  Just look at all the unique experiences that you get to have!

I guess Svenn was right.  There ARE some funny portions of the story, in a demented sort of way.

So, how was YOUR day?

Chuck

Actually, really boring after reading this. Chuck, one of these days Alice, one of these days.

ClusterChuck wrote on Oct 6^th, 2008 at 6:18pm:

So, how was YOUR day?

I saved 15% with Geico today....LOL ;D

Note to self:  Just say "no" to nitroglycerin.   [smiley=yikes.gif]

Chances are, they won't forget your visit to their little facility anytime soon, Chuck.

Best,

George

Mantra:
It's not like my life is similar to Chuck's
It's not like my life is similar to Chuck's
repeat.....

Actually, I punctured my eardrum once, and when I realized the sucking, screaming wind-tunneling didn't recede in what I considered to be an appropriate time, I went to the ER. 3 Hrs later as I walked to my car, I realized they NEVER even looked at my ear! The ER did their trige protocol, and BP was part of that. MY BP was skyrocketing and so they gave me meds immediately, and made me rest in a dark quiet room......I cried, coz of the pain in my ear, but, short of doing this, they were going to admit me.....now WHY was my BP so high? CoZ  I wAS FRIGHTENED AS ALL GETOUT i WAS GOING TO GO DEAF IN THAT DAMAGED EAR!
I still get postcards from that damn ER reminding me to get my BP checked, since I 'have a tendency to" life threatening hypertension".........well, yeah-howdy! You would too, if your ear was screaming at you, and you feared deafness!
MY body, MY rules!
Cathi

I thought my day sucked but some how I feel better now,  Thanks Chuck.  Hopfully your night will go better.    Phil

A lot better than yours Chuck, sorry man! :'(

Chuck,

You don't know me, but I thought I had a bad day at work today, someone cut into a Fiber Optic Cable and we had computer outage most of the day, (computer is 90% of my job), but your post puts this into perspective, wasn't a bad day at all.

Sorry to hear about your troubles!

Diane

You're one scary guy Chuck.

You are overdue by several decades for a break too.

Hold on Chuck.

Charlie

lashultzwfe wrote on Oct 6^th, 2008 at 8:41pm:

someone cut into a Fiber Optic Cable and we had computer outage

we call that 'backhoe fade'.  :)  

no, seriously, that's what it's called.

Dear Chuck:

I'm so sorry for your day.  Somehow it does make ours pale by comparison!

Ray

Mine was awesome compared to yours...so sorry you had to go through that Chucky.

Langa

Mine was one hell of a lot better than yours Chuck.  Sorry you had to go through that.

Hey, pee-poles!!!  This thread is not looking for sympathy or well wishes! (But thanks for those that I got)

I was told many years ago, all the sympathy I will ever get will be found in the dictionary, some where between shit and syphilis ...

This was meant to be a comical day in the life ... It is just more shit that happens to us clusterheads!  I just take it in stride, and see where I can laugh about it, or learn from it.

Now, if you want to hear about a shitty day, let me tell you about ... ... ... NAH!  Never mind!  We all have enough shitty days, without hearing about any of mine ...

Besides: Life is BEAUTIFUL!!!   (Yes, I AM between hits!)

Right?

Chuck

Chuck,
        Sounds like you need to come and take my bike out for a spin on the road that was in Cat's video, only one condition though!   NO Oxygen bottles onboard!  I hear your dangerous with Oxygen bottles!   HeHe!   John

Good God Chuck, that had to suck, but it must have at least been a bit amusing later on.

I've cussed nurses and doctors out plenty of times, usually only under anesthesia or under deep distress, but apparantly my family thought the times I did were great fun.

I think the worst I did was at 16, started cussing at a doctor during a lumbar puncture and didn't remember it. Later on I found out I'd told them to "Get that fucking needle out of my back" and to "get the fuck out of my room." which my Mom was horrified at since even under anesthesia I was normally polite, and had so many by that point it was routine... XD

Oh well Chuckles -- you could always been an inspector in a rectal themother factory.... :-* :-*

Hugs BD

Every day that we are alive, life is BEAUTIFUL - but mine and your life are now coming far to close in comparison with too many similarities, now make the military move me to another state....I didn't bring enough 2x4's....


Cat

Your stories always amuse me Chuck.  Thanks for making me laugh.

Hugs,

Jen

ClusterChuck wrote on Oct 8^th, 2008 at 12:24am:

Besides: Life is BEAUTIFUL!!!   (Yes, I AM between hits!)

You got it, Chuck!!!!!  [smiley=headbanger.gif]

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Rock on Chuck! Rock on!

kinda makes the hemorrhoidal flare up not so devastating! lol!