I’ve always tried to steer clear of political and religious threads but in the past couple of weeks I’ve found myself in the middle of a couple threads that got me posting. I plan to redouble my efforts to remain silent on such topics in the future as it’s my personal belief that stating my opinion to those that would disagree is futile and the time spent would be better placed in other areas.

However, working in the yard this afternoon gave me time to question myself about WHY I believe the things I do. The narrative that follows is an illustration of what I believe qualifies as unfair….

Some of you know I work an off shift by choice. My work day ends at midnight. I enjoy the hours as they suit my body’s natural rhythm. Not long after I awakened last Thursday morning I received a phone call from a coworker and friend informing me that one of the many people that work in the building didn’t make it home the night before. I didn’t know the guy well, he wasn’t a work buddy or close friend. When I worked on the production floor he was part of the technical team charged with repair and maintenance of our machinery, so I guess you could say I knew who he was and he knew who I was, that’s about it. I do know the man was a stand up individual, an asset to the company, a dedicated family man, active in the church of his chosen faith and easy to work with.

In rural North Carolina, like many places we have an overpopulation of deer. Bambi is everywhere.  After our shift ended Wednesday night he was driving home on a 2 lane road at the posted speed limit, 55 mph. He wasn’t drunk, he wasn’t speeding, and he wasn’t talking on cell phone. About 10 minutes from his home a large deer jumped from the woods onto the road directly in the path of an oncoming truck. With no time for the driver to react, the truck hit the deer dead center launching it into the air and straight through the windshield of my coworker’s vehicle killing him instantly. I seriously doubt he even knew what hit him.

The fact that tomorrow his wife and 16 year old daughter will bury a husband and a father who had done nothing more than attempt to drive home from an honest day’s work, to me is unfair.

The fact a neighbor up the street works less and makes more money than I do is just the result of choices made and the luck of the draw. When I drive by his home in my 6 year old pickup and see a 09 S class Mercedes in his driveway I don’t think it unfair. I consider it something to aspire to, not envy. And I might add, completely fair.

That folks is my version of fair and unfair.

Words of wisdom Bill.

 
Quote:

working in the yard

   Can I come work in your yard?   I'd like to have some clarifying thoughts like that too.   ;)

Good analogy Bill.


I usually have my analogies when I'm in the shower.  I think of the most profound things in there...

Very wise...

Melissa wrote on Nov 1^st, 2008 at 8:01pm:

I usually have my analogies when I'm in the shower.  I think of the most profound things in there...

Mel, you do what YOU do in the shower ... and I will do what I do in the shower ...

Something tells me, I have more fun ...

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GREAT post, Bill!

My prayers go out to that family ...

Chuck

filed under 'visuals I don't need in my brain'   ;)

LOL.....after what Mel said I was going to say..."I don't want to work in your shower Mel"    (coming from a woman who spent 16 yrs. cleaning other peoples showers)  but YOURS tops it all Chuck.   ::)

Nice post Bill.  

Sorry about your coworker.

-P.

I'd wager Mel  meant "epiphany".  Mine come during quiet meditative moments.

I'm sorry about your co-worker and my heart hurts for the family.

Redd wrote on Nov 1^st, 2008 at 8:16pm:

I'd wager Mel  meant "epiphany".

Yeah THAT. [smiley=grin2.gif]

Well said, Bill - well said.

Bill.....the others seem to get your point, but I'm still confused.

Do you feel lucky, blessed, special because you didn't hit a deer? Yet.

Man, what a whirlwind of danger we all go through every day. Is it luck, or a plan, or happenstance that we make it through. I don't know.

Bottom line....I am so sorry for your coworker. I hope he is at peace.

KJ

Well said, Bill.  I'm saddened for his family.

What's fair?  What's not fair?  I certainly don't know.  Maybe it's not a matter of "fair" at all.  Some things are within our control, and some things are not.  But even those things beyond our control may be measured by how we react to them.  

The story of your co-worker reminds me of an incident that occurred here a couple of years ago.  A fellow was driving along State Street with his tiny son in the car, when a truck in front of him threw a rock through his windshield, killing him (as near as anyone can tell) almost instantly.  An unavoidable tragedy.

Somehow, he managed to pull his car to the side of the road and put in "park" before he died.  How?  No one knows.

I often think of this man (who I never knew) who, even in death, managed to do one last thing that saved his son's life.

I believe that "fairness" had little do with this terrible incident.  Some things just are.  But somewhere, there is a little boy who is alive because his father loved him.  That much, I believe.

All the best,

George  

Life isn't fair.  I learned that long before we lost our twins.  I've been around long enough to see people have their lives snuffed out in an instant, and even Sandy suffered 10 years of wasting away before she basically suffocated.  A coworker of mine was unloading a big computer (I mean big, a Sun E10000) and it fell off the fork lift and crushed him to death.  I witnessed a car wreck a few months ago where a guy was ejected from his brother's pickup truck and he was hit by a semi.  You cannot make through this life expecting 'fair' from the universe.  Some things are just not for us to understand in this life.

Bill,

Great post. I think you hit the nail on the head -- You're CONTENT being YOU. Most people spend their lives trying to get there. Congratulations.

Sorry about your co-worker.

Hugs BD

Very profound and reflective, Bill.
Truth is....life just doesn't always seem fair.  Certain happenings don't make any sense and leave us wondering why.

Such a shame about your coworker.  I'm sorry.

Love ya,
Jackie

Great post.  Thanks for sharing.

Sorry to hear about your co-worker.

Hugs,

Jen

I think that question is what causes bitterness in people.

You have some people that take risks every day, such as drinking&driving or causing harm to others, and they life a long, easy life.
You have other people like this coworker that was paying attention to the road and not speeding, and a deer winds up killing him.

Fair?  I think fairness is about as real as the tooth fairy.  Hard work and the dedication to be a good person only matters if a deer doesn't jump out in the middle of the road.  

BMoneeTheMoneeMan wrote on Nov 2^nd, 2008 at 11:56am:

Hard work and the dedication to be a good person only matters if a deer doesn't jump out in the middle of the road.

I couldn't disagree more.

Dedication to being a good peron is the ONLY thing that matters because IMO, it's the legacy one leaves behind.  You as a person may cease to be, but the lessons taught by your life and your dedication to being a good person live on forever in those you loved and who love you.  That dedication gets passed down to countless generations.

***********************
On to Racer . . . I knew there was a reason I love you so much!  You and I do a lot of thinking out in our yards.  As I age I find more and more that I enjoy my own company and the thoughts and "epiphanies" that come my way when I'm alone in the garden.


In my world, "fair" is whether the ball lands on the right side or left side of the white line on a baseball field. "Fair" has nothing to do with life in general, to my way of thinking.  Some of us will die young, some of us will live to a ripe old age - fairness has nothing to do with it.

Death at any age is not fair or unfair, it is inevitable.  Disconnecting from inevitability is dangerous to one's emotional health in that it leads to unrealistic expectations in many things.

I can empathize and sympathize and grieve with people who lose loved ones before they are done with them.  But without adversity, triumph and success mean nothing.

Thus endeth my sermon of the day ;)

Just got done watching a program on the history channel.

The earth is gonna be dead in 250 billion years anyway, so all the day to day crap really doesn't matter in the big scheme of things. :P

That should cheer everybody up! [smiley=grin2.gif]


MMMMMMUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! :-*

Melissa wrote on Nov 2^nd, 2008 at 3:16pm:

The earth is gonna be dead in 250 billion years anyway, so all the day to day crap really doesn't matter in the big scheme of things. :P

I always knew there was a reason I liked you  :)


Nice post Bill, and thanks for sharing.  I'm sorry about your co-worker. Prayers for his family.

Good post Bill. I find nothing not to agree with.

Here in Western NY, this kind of thing happens too often. Last year one of my friends had the same experience of getting clobbered by a deer but lived through it. His car didn't.

Fair? Life? Surely you jest.

Charlie

Bill, I'm sorry about your co-worker.

My understanding of life is this:  God doesn't work according to time as we do because he is immortal.  He has given each of us an appointment with death, and we will meet it at the time appointed, whether because of our own stupidity and actions, or because He has spared us of our stupidity and actions for His purposes.  We don't know any of this ahead of time.

With God, it is not how long we live that matters, but what we do with the time he has given us, and what we do in relation to Him.

Glad this was posted on Sunday.  My sermon is now over. :)

Jerry

Thank you Beeyul

All I can say is that "when the deer hits me" - I hope I've made a difference to someone, not so I'm missed but so that it was a good thing I was here.

Fair and not fair doesn't come into it - as you have told me many times - it is what it is.

All I can be is all I can be. Those are my words I try to live by

lots of love
Helen xxx

Since I'm not much of a Sci-Fi junkie, I'm not too cool on the source of this quote but I like it:


I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe.
~Said by the character of Marcus, Babylon 5

Hugs to you, Bill and my sympathies to your co-worker's family.  What a damn shame.