It is a beautiful rainy day here in norfolk, va. 63 outside. 63 inside. my rottie is trying to steal my lunch. does anyonelse get a bad series of HA before it rains? i'm gonna guess yes? maybe? because I had four this morning. 1,3,5,7 am, you could set a clock by them they were so pesice waking me up. then the rain moved in and now i feel great. except for the drag ass feeling from the morphine. but its all i got til i can get out and get an O2 tank. ill get my girlfriend to do that on monday since she holds all the money right now. i dont/cant work when im in a cycle.
i find myself infront of the computer alot more now.typing and reading, this is like a place a can live while im at home. i can hang out here all day and whatever. i just wish there were somemore interaction. before i found yall id sit and watch tv, have a visit from.... watch tv another visit and so on. now im doing alot of reading. and for those of you that are so quick to say i dont know about addiction. refering to a svenn (i think thats his name). i had a doc that had me so convinced that i was gonna live on oxycontin for the rest of my life, he had me taking 240 mg of that shit a day and Actiq lollypops for breakthrough pain (rebounds) i was up to 1000 micro grams of that. so ive been there and done that. MHNI detoxed me off of that shit. so ive been an addict before, i know where opiates can lead all i do is look at the respect that people lost for me when i was a medicated junkie. thats why i only take this stuff when im at my wits end and i cant visit the ER anymore. but now i hopefully have O2. we will see, i am gonna try it. look at me i cant even keep a thought together, ill be happy when im off these meds. i can be "normal" again and go to school. for those of you that are ok wth me cool, and for those of you who are not, youll grow to like me over time. im a good guy, i might have started off the best. ill work on it.

As I told you in a PM, it just scares most of us when we see some one taking opiates.  Svenn is enormously respected and loved here, and it breaks our hearts to see the pain and suffering he is going through to break his addiction.  We don't want ANY of our family to go through what he is going through.

Many of us have started off on the wrong foot, here, but get to be accepted for the freak ... ummm ... whacko .. (no that's not right either) .. INDIVIDUAL that we all are.  Mainly, what we ask is that you be receptive to the thoughts and ideas that we have, and try to be supportive of your fellow clusterhead.

Gee, I just realized you are only up there in Norfolk (must have had a senior moment, not to realize how close you are) ... 876 years ago, when I was in the Navy, I went to a school there.  I just may take a run up there, and let you meet a fellow nut case sufferer.  It is something that most of us treasure.  The bind is instantaneous, and life long.

So, PLEASE, read READ READ all the information that is available to you, on this site, and the OUCH site.  The more you learn, the better equipped you will be in battling the beast!  We don't know everything about this, but most of the time, we end up knowing more than our doctors do.  You say you have all this time on your hands, then use it well and read through the archives.  There is fantastic information available, now, right at your fingertips!

Good luck
Chuck

great reply freak I mean whacko I mean  Chuck.

One thing I wanted to point out to you Chris, and I noticed it in another thread too- that you say you can't work while in cycle.

I can sort of understand that because I had to take leave during an especially aggressive cycle, and that sucked.  BUT... its not always your life sentence.  Once I started on the o2, I now have a tank at work and yep I still have ch, and yep still I work, and yep, life still goes on.

To reiterate what Chuck said, use this time you have at home to educate yourself - knowledge is your most powerful weapon against the beast!

pfdan to you

Jennifer wrote on Nov 8^th, 2008 at 1:58pm:

great reply freak I mean whacko I mean  Chuck.

WATCH it, Jenn!!  Remember, I have been to your house!  I KNOW where you life (I think)  It should only take me another seven and a half years for me to find it again, but when I DO ... WATCH OUT!!!

<harrumph!>

Chuck

I followed some of your earlier threads but stayed away as I avoid the Jerry Springer looking threads!!! ;) Glad they've calmed a bit. Not much to add to what that freak.....I mean that gentle soul Chuck said.  ;D I will repeat what he said about how important it is to educate yourself. We have a rare malady that few doctors see in their career so it is through no fault of their own they aren't up to date on all the treatments. This board is a HUGE advocate of educating yourself, then forming a working partnership with your doctor to treat these things.

Hoping all the yelling and screaming is behind us all and we can get down to the serious business of easing your pain. When the dust settles, it's what most of us here are all about. Pain free wishes for you soon brother.

Guiseppi

the "jerry springer" threads were when i was dosed on alot of morphine and wasn't feeling myself. i was very tired and irritated with life in general. docs haven't helped me at all. yall have helped me more in 3 days than hundreds of thousands of dollars and 20 years of docs. so i thank all of you. its nice to be someplace where you are accepted and people TRULEY understand what is going on. none of them have a fucking clue.