You know - it's been harder and harder to come back each time I've had some time away through illness or other shit in my life.

The ugliness, animosity and self righteousness here really sticks in my throat. Being here, somewhere I've considered home for so long, with people I don't just consider friends but my family.. isn't somewhere I want to be anymore. I can't tell you how that is hurting me.

There is a thread on the meds and therapies board from a newbie called Andy about how diet pepsi has helped her. Yes, she used the unforgiveable "cure" word but FFS - is that a hanging offence?

The ugliness and ignorance displayed there is just about the final straw for me after a night spent vomiting and in indescribable stomach pain... although lets face it, stomach pain doesn't count here does it?

After all, we suffer from the "worst pain" man can endure. We are survivors, we are invincible.. or are we all arseholes?

Does it matter who's pain is worse when people are hurting? Does our pain give us the right to inflict even more on others? Do we learn any humility or compassion? Do we ever give a shit about anyone else other than "us"?

Will we ever have a cure? Will we ever DESERVE a cure? I've heard it said so many times that God doesn't give us more than we can endure, well, just maybe, God gives us "lessons" If so, we sure as hell aren't learning much.

We bitch about "meegrainers", we gang up on newbies who aren't trying to sell anything, just bloody well help, we fight amongst ourselves, We drag OUCH into the ground instead of trying to work together. We hold ourselves back at every conceivable opportunity.

When was the last time any of you thought "What can I do?" instead of "What can be done for me?"

It's the absolute opposites here that are so hard to understand.. you all display such love and care for me and yet you (collective) have just treated a newbie like shit just for being enthusiastic and trying to help. Well guess what? I was new once and so were you. Did we know it all? Did we hell as like! If we did we wouldn't have been HERE now would we?

Some of us need to remember what it's like to be new, confused, scared, uneducated and afraid. Some of us need to try thinking of things from a different perspective to the usual pomous arrogance.

Like it, lump it, listen or ignore, the choice is yours.

Flame away, I couldn't care less. Actually, thats a complete LIE. If I didn't care, if I didn't care and love this place with every breath I take I wouldn't be writing this, I'd have just stopped posting and bollocks to everything.

All I know is I have enough REAL shit in my life daily, enough misery, pain and trauma to make me feel like I want to go to sleep and never wake up. I don't need to come here for a further lesson in how horrible man can be.

If you've read this far, thank you for that at least.

Helen

Helen, I am so sorry you feel like this.

I know I have not been here as much and have found few posts that I wish to contribute to.  I could not have said why, just that the whole place did not have the feel to it that it had a year ago.  I thought it was all to do with the politics turning everyone crazy.

I am sure this site turns in cirlces like life, sometimes its all good , sometimes its all bad, but mostly its a bit of everything, I am sure the balance will turn for the better.

I miss you being around, I miss Tony  I miss a lot of people who used to bring thier lives  to share with us all.  

But I am thankful for your Yorkishire pud recipe, that has never failed me and I will be making again to-day.

I hope to be able to respond to  one of your posts again but Helen take care of your self first and formost

much love and light to you

Thank you Helen dear friend

You have just pinpointed many of the thoughts and words i had i my thread "I have a dream"

This has been nagging me since day one.

Out of politeness and tremedous respect for you i will NOT say what kind of advice someone else gave me after my thread.

Yess , that person is among the leaders of OUCH but i will let those word be unsaid here

Just know i am behind you 100% on what you have said here


Your friend

Svenn

Helen, PLEASE don't leave.

You are a valued asset to this board.  I read through that thread, this morning, and was shocked and embarrassed at my part in it.  I posted a public apology in that thread.  I will do so here, too.

I am sorry for what I said in that thread.  I was VERY wrong.

I am not saying this just to keep you here, Helen.  I wrote that before I even read this thread.  I wrote it for Andy, and the whole board, and because I was wrong, and needed to publicly address that fact, and own up to my stupidity.

I am deeply sorry for your feelings, yet I fully understand.

Please don't leave.

Chuck

:'(

It would be ashame if you were to leave Helen.  You have helped many people.  I feel that many of the posts lashing out at newbies are the result of ones own pain within.  Perhaps not CH but pain and conflict none the less.  Ther is a lot of hatred and crulity in the world and unfortunatly it finds it's way here too.  I guess there is no getting around it.  Only you can decide what is best for you and if a break is the Rx for you, then people will understand.

I do know that this will be a very empty place without you!  Your laughter, humor and knowledge have given many that have sought this place a ray of hope.

L, P.

Been a dynamic of the board for a long time.

There should be a "Slamming" section where the moderator periodically posts a thread like "I found the cure" or "Narcotics - the magic bullet".  Then people could do the venting they need to do in that one area.

Such is life.

Bob, there is a big difference between venting and attacking, but you are right, it has been a dynamic since I have been here.  I once mentioned something that helped me and I got the same treatment.  I never said it was a cure or anything close to it.  People just need to grow up and be more accepting of others, but they won't until the moderators do something about it.  Until then, it just is what it is.  you get to learn who all the usual suspects are after a while and then you can use the "ignore" option if you wish...I have.

Have a nice day!  

What the hell???  where did the "ignore" buttons go?  I took a break from this place for a little while and they went and changed it.  It must just be part of the moderator's plan to clean things up...

Heaven help me! I'm glad I was out last night.........but, sheesh, you guys! The replies I read had absolutely nothing TO DO WITH HELP-and, yes, she could've benefitted from some help, by way of education.
I can also understand a Clusterhead's anger and frustration at a post like that one.......but you're not posting to Andy, you're posting to the beast.
I'll continue to say this. It makes no sense whatsoever that SOMEONE who has suffered  the  physical pain that is CH would inflict this additional pain, albeit emotional on a fellow sufferer!  

Joe, I saw your attempt, Chuck I saw your apology, Helen, I hear you. I agree, Helen, it's hurtful!

I have no 'need' to be here..well, yes I do. I gain a lot by being
involved here, but I just flipping HATE it when a newby, for whatever reason becomes 'chum', before they can even settle in...so they run.....
Just like the Crips and the Bloods. maybe we need a "jumping in" forum...if you can surivive the flaming, then the tar and feathering, then the kicking you get when you're down, THEN, you can be a Clusterhead! OOORRRr maybe we simply need to re-find our compassion....
Andy made 2 mistakes. She assumed her diet coke was a CURE......and, she waited 8 yrs to share it...... soo, rather than explain, patiently, as you might someone who needed help with a new 02 setup, you set her heels on fire..and she'll NEVER understand what happened, but she knows Clusterheads are pretty hatetful.......

Helen, you and I BOTH know, there's a lot more good going on here than there is bad. I'm planning on staying my course. I'm not going anywhere...and people like Andy are the primary reason. These newcomers need to know there are good, caring people here too.

Nuff said.....
Cathi  

wrote on Nov 16^th, 2008 at 8:14am:

What the hell???  where did the "ignore" buttons go?

They were lost, like some other things, during the last forum software upgrade.

Oliver

wrote on Nov 16^th, 2008 at 5:03am:

The ugliness, animosity and self righteousness here...

In a more detached frame, the political threads can be amusing.

Reading further, I see this wouldn't be about those.



Just want you to overcome, get well Helen, however you decide.

Helen,

I don't blame you for feeling this way. But Cathi made a point - there are plenty of us who aren't here to judge new people and make them feel like they have to justify themselves for being here in order to join the collective.

You have provided support for so many - me included! You (along with Sanna & others) made me feel SO very welcome when I first found this site. And Scott has been telling me how great you have been in supporting him. Where would we be now without your help? I dread to think.

You are loved very much here and there are so many more people finding this site who need help from people like you who are willing to listen and provide guidance.

xx

Helen I know how you feel and it is one of the reasons I don't come here that often any more. There are some mean spirited assholes here. I truly believe it is symptom of the  condition. Some people here are quick to judge and stick their noses in others lives. But there are also some mighty fine people here who care....like you....that keep me coming back. Its funny how the good ones leave and the assholes stick around for ever. Be well and know that there ARE good people here that love and respect you that will miss you.

Maffumatt

Hoped it to be a healing thread.


wrote on Nov 16^th, 2008 at 5:03am:

Some of us need to try thinking of things from a different perspective to the usual pomous arrogance.

Helen, if you give in, like others recently have, the darker voices become more the main instead of the exception.  Guiseppi was brilliant in that thread.  Almost the lone voice of reason.  

I tend to shy away from negative threads.  There is enough pain in my life right now without inviting more.  But this is one time I wish I had added one more voice of reason to a newbie thread.  I saw the word 'cure' and just knew it was going to be a ugly.

This place will be one very large part darker without you Helen.  Your voice has already been missed.  Please don't make that a permenant condition.

-Dennis-

Thank you, Helen, for saying what many of us have long felt.  I regret that I did not post when I initially read the Andy H thread.  What good is done when people with good intentions stay silent?  More people need to speak up who feel this way, rather than fear they will be outcast for their opinions.  BS SHOULD be called out.  Obstinate and rude behavior SHOULD be called out, not ignored or passively accepted, simply by not saying anything at all.

"Bad things happen when good people stay silent."

It is just as much a crime to watch something terrible and do nothing.  For that, I am sorry. :(

Please don't go.  We need more people like you - who are not afraid to speak up and call out the crap.  Who come with huge overflowing hearts full of love, DESPITE their pain.

You know I love you, Helen.  I would hate to lose you here.  You have been a kind, kind friend to MANY here.  Don't let your light go out on these threads.  I thank you for speaking up.

Much love,
Carrie :)   [smiley=hug.gif]

There is a reason that the good, smart, compassionate voices of Clusterville go silent occasionally.

It's not temperament or exhaustion or ambivalence.  It's the unmitigated ugliness that takes over from time to time.  It's damn near impossible to keep that ugliness from leaking into ones own consciousness.  

The treatment is distance and silence.  For however long it takes.

oh, helen.....................please don't leave................................i absolutely "feel" how you "feel"..........................sometimes people don't realize what they say or do..........................you are a valuable person, and one of the ones on here who helped me so much...........................pls feel free to PM me.................
hugs & kisses
deb

wrote on Nov 16^th, 2008 at 5:03am:

The ugliness, animosity and self righteousness here really sticks in my throat. Being here, somewhere I've considered home for so long, with people I don't just consider friends but my family.. isn't somewhere I want to be anymore. I can't tell you how that is hurting me.

It appears that Helen is not alone in her thoughts. All one has to do is look around, think back a few years and count those that for what ever reason aren't here any more. No goodbye posts, no deleted profiles, no nothing.......just gone.


KevinM writes:

Quote:

In a more detached frame, the political threads can be amusing.

True. But those political threads can also set the tone of what's acceptable and what's not. Those threads also tend to inflame passions that spill over to other areas.....


BobP writes:

Quote:

Been a dynamic of the board for a long time.

True. A dynamic that's been both ignored by many and exploited by a few for their own personal enjoyment or agendas.


Mosaicwench writes:

Quote:

There is a reason that the good, smart, compassionate voices of Clusterville go silent occasionally. It's not temperament or exhaustion or ambivalence.  It's the unmitigated ugliness that takes over from time to time.  It's damn near impossible to keep that ugliness from leaking into ones own consciousness.

Well said.....a good explanation of what many feel.


I wrote back in February of this year:

Quote:

Win at all costs, damn the casualties. Bludgeon the innocent along with the guilty.   No need for professionalism, class, tact, or any other civil notions. Save face at all costs. Say what you will, true or not. Insult, embarrass, and intimidate. He who shouts the loudest wins. Whatever it takes. After all, it's only the internet.....there is not a human being on the other end, it's just words on a screen. If people get mad or hurt along the way, that's their problem, right? Isn't that how we roll around here?

While full of sarcasm, I think most will get the point.


I won't beg someone to stay, that feels they need to go. I stayed one time when I should have left and it damn near drove me nuts. Why didn't I leave then? I felt an obligation to help the newbies and the good people here that keep the lights on even when they really might not feel like it. This place has saved many lives...it can save many more. It saved mine........that's why I stay.

Bill

Racer1_NC wrote on Nov 16^th, 2008 at 12:51pm:

It appears that Helen is not alone in her thoughts.

And yet, understood to be more interested in closing wounds than opening them, an imperfect compliance may seem to have been acquainted following her plea.

Andy H wrote on Nov 15^th, 2008 at 10:10pm:

I watched the beast come and go year after year like clock work for 8 years! Then when the 9th year came around I swore that I was going to find some kind of help on the internet and I discovered this site.

Andy H wrote on Nov 14^th, 2008 at 6:29pm:

low & behold I found my cure On this site 8 years ago & decided to visit back here to tell my story in hopes of helping others.

So, which is it.......was your wife here 8 years ago or did you just find this site for her?

Nuff said! ;)

You've all been had!....LOL  ;D

Jonny, please!

gizmo wrote on Nov 16^th, 2008 at 3:23pm:

Jonny, please!

Excuse me?

ClusterChuck wrote on Nov 16^th, 2008 at 7:34am:

Helen, PLEASE don't leave. You are a valued asset to this board.  I read through that thread, this morning, and was shocked and embarrassed at my part in it.  I posted a public apology in that thread.  I will do so here, too. I am sorry for what I said in that thread.  I was VERY wrong. I am not saying this just to keep you here, Helen.  I wrote that before I even read this thread.  I wrote it for Andy, and the whole board, and because I was wrong, and needed to publicly address that fact, and own up to my stupidity. I am deeply sorry for your feelings, yet I fully understand. Please don't leave. Chuck

yeah i feel the same way. it was just pepsi. she wasn't pushing sinus buster. things got escalated fast on that thread. perhaps we can learn from this. there are several members of this board that you just don't see anymore.  :-/ i would hate for ch.com to loose the compassion that it had when i first started posting.

helen, i know you and i aren't on a personal level but i do see the warmth that you bring to the board. even though we never talk if you did leave i would miss you.
                                                                     im sorry

I don't think that it helps if we repeat PMs here.

gizmo wrote on Nov 16^th, 2008 at 3:55pm:

I don't think that it helps if we repeat PMs here.

Where?....I think we should be thinking about who is a liar and who is trying to pull our chain.

My post speaks for its self....fucking lies!

Dear Helen,

There is room for all as far as I’m concerned, hell even I came back from discouragement on this site. I was mainly to blame but so be it. It is and will be just what we the members make of it.

I find myself gravitating to close to the oven and end up well done too often to count (not looking for examples ether).

I’m going to stay with the crowd that thinks (alumni) that this kind of stuff belongs on that board because the ones posting to it are almost all able to see it there and it serves no purpose for the rest of the users here. All it is doing is sending bad vibes to the newbie’s.

PF to all and to all a good night :)

Roland. :-X

wrote on Nov 16^th, 2008 at 4:02pm:

I’m going to stay with the crowd that thinks (alumni) that this kind of stuff belongs on that board because the ones posting to it are almost all able to see it there and it serves no purpose for the rest of the users here. All it is doing is sending bad vibes to the newbie’s.

I honestly don't see a reason why only the alumni should be able to read and discuss this type of post.
Besides, there are lots of posts in the general forum that could scare newbies.

Oliver

gizmo wrote on Nov 16^th, 2008 at 4:14pm:

wrote on Nov 16th, 2008 at 4:02pm: I’m going to stay with the crowd that thinks (alumni) that this kind of stuff belongs on that board because the ones posting to it are almost all able to see it there and it serves no purpose for the rest of the users here. All it is doing is sending bad vibes to the newbie’s. I honestly don't see a reason why only the alumni should be able to read and discuss this type of post. Besides, there are lots of posts in the general forum that could scare newbies. Oliver

Just my 2 cents! 8-)

Edit to add all ya got to do is drop that plastic Bro.  :-*

I was thinking more about the replies than the original post itself. ;)

It all boils down to a liar is a liar....I dont know who the fuck Steven is but he said one thing and his so called wife said just the Opposite.

Now I may be a little slow in the brain department, but that is a lie that you can not refute!

I know when I showed up here! ;)

Quote:

Now I may be a little slow in the brain department

You think? :-*

Jimi wrote on Nov 16^th, 2008 at 4:33pm:

Quote: Now I may be a little slow in the brain department You think? :-*

wrote on Nov 16^th, 2008 at 3:59pm:

gizmo wrote on Nov 16th, 2008 at 3:55pm: I don't think that it helps if we repeat PMs here. Where?....I think we should be thinking about who is a liar and who is trying to pull our chain. My post speaks for its self....fucking lies!

I think it has more to do with people reading the whole thing that was written and not jumping all over everyone's case.  There have been quite a few posts to newbies that have been downright mean for no reason, and posts to non-newbies that have been downright mean.  

There's been a general lack of compassion from a lot of people here.  I myself have had multiple, numerous times that I've wanted to not come here anymore.  The only reason I've stayed is because there are a few great friends I've come to know here.  I find myself not wanting to read or post anything because it does seem there is that attack mode and rudeness all the time.  

As to Andy lying....why does it have to be about her lying?  Why does it have to be such a big deal that Pepsi helped her when we all know how energy drinks help tons here.  If you actually read what was written, you'd have seen that her husband said in 1990 he met her, 9 years later (making it 1999), he found this site and she tried the Pepsi.  Another 8 years later (making it 2007 [so they were a year off!]) she has been having success with it still and decided to post.  

I understand people have things going on in their lives so they get a little pissy at times, but I think we all need to step back and turn off the attack buttons and be a lot more considerate.  What is that saying?  "You attract more bees with honey".  

Audre wrote on Nov 16^th, 2008 at 4:43pm:

wrote on Nov 16th, 2008 at 3:59pm: gizmo wrote on Nov 16th, 2008 at 3:55pm: I don't think that it helps if we repeat PMs here. Where?....I think we should be thinking about who is a liar and who is trying to pull our chain. My post speaks for its self....fucking lies! 9 years later (making it 1999), he found this site and she tried the Pepsi.  Another 8 years later (making it 2007 [so they were a year off!]) she has been having success with it still and decided to post.

Show me where it says that!

"I have been with Andy since 1990 and YES she had the beast! When I first met her she had told me about these killer headaches and how they last about a month or so with multiple attacks daily!

At first I thought it was just a headache…but when I witnessed the extreme agony she was going through!… I felt helpless and could only hold her and rub her temples…she would scream and cry and bang her head against the wall virtually on the brink of suicide!

We went to doctors to specialist’s etc…just as she said and NOTHING WORKED!…not even slightly subsiding the pain! I watched the beast come and go year after year like clock work for 8 years! Then when the 9th year came around I swore that I was going to find some kind of help on the internet and I discovered this site."

How many times do I need to post this?


Andy H wrote on Nov 15^th, 2008 at 10:10pm:

I watched the beast come and go year after year like clock work for 8 years! Then when the 9th year came around I swore that I was going to find some kind of help on the internet and I discovered this site.

Andy H wrote on Nov 14^th, 2008 at 6:29pm:

low & behold I found my cure On this site 8 years ago & decided to visit back here to tell my story in hopes of helping others.

So, which is it.......was your wife here 8 years ago or did you just find this site for her?

Im bored with this bullshit.....see ya!

My darling Mum, what ever it is that you decide to do, know that I am here for you. Life has been hard on both of us lately and I know you personally are some one I have countless times come to lean on. Both Brother and I are always here for you and will support you in whatever you do. As for the other issues that were brought up in this post, I will not comment on because it's really not my place. I hope to see you and my sweet little sister soon. Strength be given to you, my mother. I love you and I will miss you if you go. :-* [smiley=heart.gif] [smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=sad.gif]

Broken

Though I didn't read the post you write about... I haven't had much time for that.  I know what you mean... Off and on there is an element of snappyness that rears its head due to the pain and suffering of our family here.  

I love you Helen... if you leave come back, you are family, everyone needs time away once in a while.

Ree ( who just came back and has something important to share)

wrote on Nov 16^th, 2008 at 4:58pm:

How many times do I need to post this? Andy H wrote on Nov 15th, 2008 at 10:10pm: I watched the beast come and go year after year like clock work for 8 years! Then when the 9th year came around I swore that I was going to find some kind of help on the internet and I discovered this site. Andy H wrote on Nov 14th, 2008 at 6:29pm: low & behold I found my cure On this site 8 years ago & decided to visit back here to tell my story in hopes of helping others. So, which is it.......was your wife here 8 years ago or did you just find this site for her? Im bored with this bullshit.....see ya!

You leaving us permanently? Aw Gee.


I've tried calling someone out for their rudeness and downright cruelty, and got chastised for it by one of the mods! And got told that I shouldn't have done that to this person especially!

Good luck folks, it's every person for themselves. I too miss the members who no longer post, and since I've been here there have been many "regulars' that no longer post, or have deleted their profiles. I miss the friendly threads, with the banter between family, but we can't have that anymore without some people butting in, and being rude and despicable.

The CH specific and Meds boards AND the newby board have NEW people on there, trying to COMMUNICATE with US!! And a few end up beating these people up, when they need us most! When they need our help, and we actually have a chance to make a difference in someone's life, and they are driven away.

Geez, I guess that is too hard to do, it's much easier to slam someone and the treatment they use for themselves, if it works for them, then halle-fucking-lulla! Our pain is ours and ours alone. No one has pain like us, so why not get into the "my pain is worse than yours" game?

Let's treat anyone who has any other pain like outcasts. Lets do the same to anyone having a different kind of headache. Hell, let's just do it because we are superior.

I haven't been around that much lately, not that it matters, because of the meanness and hate that is expressed here. This placed has changed over the last several years, and especially over the last several months.

Pretty soon, there will only be a select few here. The ones who think they own the place (and you know who you are), and new people needing help. And they will be ridiculed and chased off the board.

I agree with you Helen, and you too Bill. Too bad, I think we are in the minority.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. If you can't say something nice about someone, then STFU. I can't believe anyone was raised to speak to people the way they do here. Have a little respect.

Hi Helen!!

purpleydog wrote on Nov 16^th, 2008 at 5:59pm:

wrote on Nov 16th, 2008 at 4:58pm: How many times do I need to post this? Andy H wrote on Nov 15th, 2008 at 10:10pm: I watched the beast come and go year after year like clock work for 8 years! Then when the 9th year came around I swore that I was going to find some kind of help on the internet and I discovered this site. Andy H wrote on Nov 14th, 2008 at 6:29pm: low & behold I found my cure On this site 8 years ago & decided to visit back here to tell my story in hopes of helping others. So, which is it.......was your wife here 8 years ago or did you just find this site for her? Im bored with this bullshit.....see ya! You leaving us permanently? Aw Gee. I've tried calling someone out for their rudeness and downright cruelty, and got chastised for it by one of the mods! And got told that I shouldn't have done that to this person especially! Good luck folks, it's every person for themselves. I too miss the members who no longer post, and since I've been here there have been many "regulars' that no longer post, or have deleted their profiles. I miss the friendly threads, with the banter between family, but we can't have that anymore without some people butting in, and being rude and despicable. The CH specific and Meds boards AND the newby board have NEW people on there, trying to COMMUNICATE with US!! And a few end up beating these people up, when they need us most! When they need our help, and we actually have a chance to make a difference in someone's life, and they are driven away. Geez, I guess that is too hard to do, it's much easier to slam someone and the treatment they use for themselves, if it works for them, then halle-fucking-lulla! Our pain is ours and ours alone. No one has pain like us, so why not get into the "my pain is worse than yours" game? Let's treat anyone who has any other pain like outcasts. Lets do the same to anyone having a different kind of headache. Hell, let's just do it because we are superior. I haven't been around that much lately, not that it matters, because of the meanness and hate that is expressed here. This placed has changed over the last several years, and especially over the last several months. Pretty soon, there will only be a select few here. The ones who think they own the place (and you know who you are), and new people needing help. And they will be ridiculed and chased off the board. I agree with you Helen, and you too Bill. Too bad, I think we are in the minority. I've said it before and I'll say it again. If you can't say something nice about someone, then STFU. I can't believe anyone was raised to speak to people the way they do here. Have a little respect.

Man, if you aint full of your self.....LMMFAO  ;D

Damn Helen don't hold back just tell it like it is. I like that about you.
Your post is so true.
We love you and hope you don't leave, you brighten the days and nights for a lot of us. When the post get ugly and life sucks I come here and look for your post.  When I find it I always seem to find a smile and before I leave I am laughing. You are a ray of sunshine here.

H e L L e n nn...........we need you!

Just straighten this board out and stay right here for all of us.  What would we do without your messages?

We love you and want you right here.

Helen,

Please don't leave.  I for one need you around to help me when I get out of line.  I jumped right in there teasing Andy.  I had been feeling down and I guess I was trying to fit in at someone else's expense.

Thanks for reminding me of the kind of person I want to be.

Jeannie

Helen, please check your pm's.

 Helen dont leave, I wasn't even going to post here but I felt I had to You are one of the few that help the newbies and you are great at it screw the rest of us,  you have saved lives in the UK that we couldn't have without you.   You having every thing going on in your life still find a way to help others so dont stop.
 Phil

Stick around Helen. Without you, this place would fill up with boring old farts like the two Chucks.  ::)

Say it isn't so.

Charlie

As I posted awhile ago on the other site; people use the word "cure" a lot without meaning it as a medical breakthrough. It's a little sloppy perhaps but I've done it many times over the years.

Give this guy a break.

This whole thing pisses me off.

Charlie

Helen, I hope you don't go (maybe a little break would do a lot of good and then come back).

As to the other stuff. I've said my say on some other threads, but...

New people come here every day asking for help. Some have CH and some don't - but think they might. Some don't know the difference between CH and migraines because doctors don't know the difference a lot of times. But we still should be polite and not bash them.

If they use the wrong terminology so what? That's no reason to go off on them. As Charlie said, we've all had our cycle "cured" at one time or another.

My words have been turned around by people over the years and I've been blasted for things that were written, taken out of context and weren't what I meant at all.

We need to remember that none of us own this board (DJ does). DJ has shut it down a couple of times because of shit like the stuff that's going on right now - we DO remember that don't we?

So, I'd just like for everyone to think about (the next time you start to post a bash to someone) what would it be like for all of us without this place to come to every day? Maybe we all need to start showing a little more compassion and giving people the benefit of the doubt rather than picking their words apart and looking for things wrong.

Hugs BD

Dear Helen,

I do hope that you won't leave, but do what's best for YOU. Your warmth and kindness and sense of humor shine in your posts and have brought so much to this site over the years. I'm lucky and grateful that I can call you a friend as well.

I've been here long enough to notice that things have changed and people, too. Still, I do come here as often as possible and promise, on my behalf, to share the same kind of kindness, love and caring that I have received right here.

I do believe that we all have a challenge in front of us and we can change things together. So let's be more kind, more caring, more understanding, more lighter. So many of us in here recall how great this site has been - and can be again.

I'm eternal optimist... ;) and I have faith in us, in the ch.com community.

Sanna

Check your pms.

love,
me

If our paths do not cross again know that I will miss you and remember you fondly. You need to do whatever is right for you.

I can relate to your post and I agree 100%.

I have come to the conclusion that this place will never change. For me to stay as long as I have I had to change. It was a concious choice. There is good here, and there is bad here. It seems the good just take so much more effort. As long as there are board sponsored trolls here and the high school cliques run the rumor mill in the background, the good will ALWAYS take tons of effort. I decided to make the effort but I certainly can see why somone, even someone as giving and sharing as you, might not.

If you leave and then come back I will welcome you with open arms!

Y'know... I've described (and even shown) my boyfriend some of the threads here... After the latest thing, he basically said "I think you need to find a new cluster board."

I told him "There isn't another one."

You can look around online, I haven't seen another one. This means we have a responsibility I think to be as welcoming as possible to anyone who comes here. Sure, they may turn out to be a troll, but you know what? That's a risk we need to take, so that people who REALLY need help feel comfortable. No, I'm not saying that we need to suppress our opinions, or change our views on things... But we do need to bare in mind, this is the only place someone may have to turn.

Before you post anything, I would think twice and remember that. If you're having a hard few days, maybe add that on, in case you realize later that you're being overly harsh due to having a rough time. We've all been there, we'll all understand.

Just my opinion, though...

Mystina

Oh Helen sweetie, I would be very sad if you chose to leave. Those who have yet to find this site would never experience the joy of knowing you and that would make their very miserable existence all the less tolerable.

stick around.

with warm regards,
Tony

please don't go any where. You are an admired member here.  There are morons everywhere, including here.  I too get sick of seeing newbies attacked here from time to time.  To me there is no excuse.  I don't care what kind of bad day you just had.  Common decency should prevail.  
When people find this place for the first time, they have alot of emotions, and they are hoping to find some answers.  They do not come here to be attacked for  maybe a poor choice of words.  

Bottom line....Helen....I hate to see long time, supportive, and vital members of this community leave because of others.  I hope you stick around to offer all that you have to offer.  You represent what this board was created to be.  It wouldn't be the same without you.  

Helen, i hope that you stick around long enough to read this! i apologize profusely for letting our relationship lapse. I am very guilty of backing away and disappearing from this community. i am especially ashamed of my lack of stepping up to the plate in support of the "busters" on this board. I have not yet found an answer to our shared demon and i have selfishly let other concerns take me away.

I don't even know what posts led up to this declaration by you and i am sorry for my lack of attention.

know this ....i love and cherish every word that we have shared, i miss feeling that we are connected, the sufferers (new and old) need you and, i need to know that you are here.

You are always in my thoughts and prayers whether i am on this board or not.

hugz and love to you and the kids from me and if she was awake bigger love from Lin!!!

Hi Helen. I have been on the board for just over two years now and you were one of the first one's to greet me. You made me feel very welcome. Angie and I came very close to meeting you in person this past year but we could not hook up with you. We hope someday we will be able to meet up with you.

I would be very sad if you were to leave, but that has to be your decision.

  Barry [smiley=hug.gif]

Note: Someday I want to give you a real hug. :)

Dear Helen:

It's plain that you are loved and would be missed.

Dear Clusterville:

It's plain to me that one should err on the side of civility rather than to go on the attack.  I try to let irritations and abrasive posts roll off like water on a duck's back.  When I cannot, I go silent for a while and leave the thread unread from then on.

I didn't come here to fight, I came here to commiserate with others who know what we go through.  I came here to share advice with "newbies".  I also came here for some fun distraction that I can focus on when I'm having a tough time.

May you find peace,

Ray

Now all that is necessary for evil to prevail ,is that good people do nothing.
My vote is Helen sticks around.
the bb

While there is certainly no value in overreacting to “questionable” people visiting this board, I think that it is fueled by a fierce protective stance taken by some members. This is a special place, and sometimes it’s easy to not realize that in going overboard -we are peeing in our own sandbox.

I’ve gotten my feathers ruffled a couple of times since I joined in 1999. I just got frustrated and quietly left without fanfare. I doubt that anyone noticed and the place continued to function very nicely without me. Then, over time, I remembered the value of this group and quietly wandered back in.

Over the years, I've also seen many "bad" threads get turned around quickly by a few folks adding positive, helpful comments to the thread.

Respectfully,
Marc

Hello Helen,
    I'm fairly new to this group, but it seems to me that you are badly needed here.  It would be a shame to let a few assholes chase you off.
    We all have to deal with total dickheads every day.  Here and elsewhere.  Don't let em run your life.

     Just remember, if we didn't have assholes, you couldn't tell who the good people are.

                                               JPC

Oh hell, Sweetie.....you might as well stick around.  Besides if you weren't here I'd cry and then I'd be pissed..... :P  You see, I'm selfish and I want the people I love to be around.

I'm with you though....it's pitiful at times.  I'm proud of us most of the time but then, at other times, so terribly ashamed.

Love you my friend,
Jackie

Helen, you have a yorkshire pudding recipe???  Ooooh, may I have it please?   When I make them, they resemble hockey pucks. :(

Rise above the bullshit, darlin - it ain't worth it.  Come play scrabble with me on Facebook.   :-*

forgot to add this quote from Marc's post and say, ME TOO!!!

"I just got frustrated and quietly left without fanfare. I doubt that anyone noticed and the place continued to function very nicely without me. Then, over time, I remembered the value of this group and quietly wandered back in

Hey Margi... burned Barley lately??? ::) ::)

Good to see you.... How's Ms. Prissy and where's the latest pics -- know you've taken one or two lately.... I for one MISS you when you forget to 'wander' in  --

C Helen - you are missed too...

Hugs BD

nope, Barb -  haven't set the dog on fire in a number of years now.  He's getting close to 90 now, though, so we have to be a little more careful with him.  ;)

oh yeah, I got pictures of the Princess.  zillions of 'em.  i'll try to pick my top favorite hundred or so and load up your mailbox....howzat?  

When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer.
--Corrie Ten Boom--

Just a thought. I can understand you wanting to jump off.  

We'll see you later....yes?

Steve G

stevegeebe wrote on Nov 20^th, 2008 at 7:35pm:

When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer. --Corrie Ten Boom-- Just a thought. I can understand you wanting to jump off.   We'll see you later....yes? Steve G

What engineer? :-?

The value of this place but its Achilles' heel is that it is mostly unregulated and DJ wants it that way for good reasons.

To me that means you can have whacky but sometimes ground breaking stuff but you also have some of the most pointlessly nasty posts and pms I have ever seen (and I should know, have received many myself [smiley=hiya.gif] Potter and others)

Sometimes the shit is just too much if you are emotionally involved with the site and the people on it and you SHOULD get the hell out for a while and gain perspective for your own mental health, there is unlikely to be a cure while you are gone.

I'm not involved, some of you sadly killed that for me long ago, but Helen patently still is.

You already know what I think about victims, persecutors and rescuers Helen, but if you need this place, stay. If they need you but you need a break, ignore them, stop posting or even reading. Break the habit for a while at least and gain perspective again.



W

Tunnel=Life   Engineer=My Maker

Perhaps the quote too general.  Like you I take some long breaks from posting.  I stop by and peep in now and then, say silent prayers, laugh and am sometimes saddened.

I remember those times you've recalled.  It wasn't pleasant.

Then I get the urge to chime in and like you are posting again.
The best part of this site is why I return and the reason I can't seem to stay away.

Good to see you again.

Steve G