I'm not sure what to make of it.  I am not worried about suicide but I found it interesting.  Any thoughts?  


Depth of Infliction

There is a pain in my head
It does not listen to reason
there is a pain in my head
my brain is committing treason

this pain is not there
to visit for the weekend
this awful pain is there
to break not to bend

but sometimes I think
that pain is too much
but sometimes I think
it would only take a simple touch

to make me
to take me
to send me over that edge

there is a pain in my heart
it resides deep inside
there is a pain in my heart
from which I cannot hide

that pain is there
to wreak havoc on me
that pain is there
to force me to flee

all that I love
all that I have
it wants to take me away

there is a pain in my soul
it pokes it prods and it punches
there is a pain in my soul
it strikes fear in bunches

that pain will not flee
that pain is me
that pain will not snooze
that pain will not lose

there will be a time
when this pain will no longer be mine
I do however fear
that the end is too near
or that the end is not near
for that is the real fear.

Would make good lyrics for a CH song....

I read this a couple of hours ago just before taking the wife out on a date.  All through dinner it kept going through my head.  I can identify!  My question upon reading it was this:  Is the writer making a cry for help, or is the writer just venting?  

If it is an exercise in venting it is a good thing, and expresses the thoughts that I think all of us have at one time or another.  I know I am not suicidal, although I would be lying if I said I had not considered it more than once.  I will however welcome death when the time comes.  Part of that is because of my belief, and that I am confident of eternity, but the release from CH would be so welcome.  That does not mean though that I do not enjoy life to the fullest extent that I can, and I by no means want to leave my family.

The thing that concerns me though, is whether there is an underlying cry and despair that is not being fully expressed.  I hope I'm reading to much into that idea, but if not I hope the writer will reach out to someone for help.  My prayers will definitely be with him/her either way.

Jerry

Callico wrote on Jan 2^nd, 2009 at 11:23pm:

I read this a couple of hours ago just before taking the wife out on a date.  All through dinner it kept going through my head.  I can identify!  My question upon reading it was this:  Is the writer making a cry for help, or is the writer just venting?   If it is an exercise in venting it is a good thing, and expresses the thoughts that I think all of us have at one time or another.  I know I am not suicidal, although I would be lying if I said I had not considered it more than once.  I will however welcome death when the time comes.  Part of that is because of my belief, and that I am confident of eternity, but the release from CH would be so welcome.  That does not mean though that I do not enjoy life to the fullest extent that I can, and I by no means want to leave my family. The thing that concerns me though, is whether there is an underlying cry and despair that is not being fully expressed.  I hope I'm reading to much into that idea, but if not I hope the writer will reach out to someone for help.  My prayers will definitely be with him/her either way. Jerry

Thanks for the input.  I read it the same way.  I know my friend at least says there is no chance of suicide, but I do know CH and depression are both there.  Since I have both Ch and depression, I guess the thought was that i could relate, and  I do.

I am not all that worried but it hit me hard when I first read it.  Maybe I could relate too much.   I am glad my friend has a strong support system and has an outlet for these feelings (and the willingness to share).  I have to believe support system and outlet are so important in dealing with both Ch and depression.

I guess that's why I like it here.

I'm glad we are reading it alike.  You mentioned a strong support system.  That is vital in my estimation.  That is why I hate to see people leave here.  We need a good support system outside of here, but at least here we have people who can empathize with us as well as sympathize.  

Jerry