I want to thank Ghost for giving me this idea, with his Hospital Charts Joke...(he may regret this later)

I was thinking while reading it that many of us have seen dr's nurses and been in Hospitals at one time or another for various reasons.  So... Along those lines I figured it might be fun to start a topic on the Dumbest things My Doctor or Nurse has said to me as a patient.  The only problem is ... since I'm starting it I guess I'll have to go 1st (UHOH   :-?  )

I wasn't sure if this should go in general or jokes area...I'll leave that up to the pro's to decide.   Here goes....

The Dumbest thing a Doctor or Nurse said to me was...

Nurse: "I SAID HOLD IT AS LONG AS POSSIBLE!!!"

Me: "Well Obviously, I couldn't hold it anymore!!" (after nurse inserted about a pints worth of enema juice before a surgery, didn't quite make it to the ladies room)    :o   :-[

;D ;D

I'll go next.......I suffered a head injury when I was 16. Dad took me to the hospital to get checked out as I was not in real good shape. Part of the exam was having x rays done...a skull series. The nurse charged with shooting radioactive waves through my head insisted I sit up. I related that I was unable to do so because I became nauseated unless I was laying down. "It's all in your head." I was told. "Sit up.". So sit up I did.....but....before I did I told her that if I became sick I was aiming for her. I did. On both counts. She was not pleased. I will bet she never told another patient with a head injury it was all in their heads either.  ;)

That explains a lot  ;D

While waiting for surgery on my knee, and all dressed in a gown and in the surgery waiting room, the nurse asks me, "What are you here for again?"

You can imagine my concern; right? I mean what if I was wheeled into the wrong operating room? If she hadn't asked, I might have had an arm removed and still had a torn-up knee.

sheeesh

I think it's protocol for each "station" along the way to the operating room to ask you those kinds of questions - so they know they have the right patient for the right procedure.

;D   Racer1_NC  &  Perediablo

Who's Next ? ...

The dumbest thing I can think of, actually had to do with cluster headaches.

It was when I first started having them.  I was rushed to the hospital, and then life flighted to the closest big teaching hospital.  After being there for over a week, and the staff witnessing MANY hits, and going through all the tests available, at the time, the lead Neuro came to my room, and told me:  "No one can have the pain, that you are pretending to have, without something showing up on one of the tests we have given you ..."

I was then transferred to the psych ward for treatment ... For three months ... Until they "cured" me ... We now know the cycle had ended ...

I wonder where that effin idiot is now?

ClusterChuck wrote on Jul 31^st, 2009 at 6:01pm:

I wonder where that effin idiot is now?

It's Wendy's...."ketchup or mustard?"

Gone please skip your football game this Saturday, I want to go to Ikea.

By, my wife the psychiatric nurse... :D



Lefty...!

Sex??  :-?

It was actually a therapist I know.

"Your head pain is part of you, you should try to embrace it"

OMG  ;D  Did you switch therapists after that one?  

Time to kick that dumb azz to the curb  :D

after crushing the end of my finger off at work i arrived at the ER with large bandage on finger and glove with the rest still in it. the old woman at the ER reception "can i help you?" "yes ive just cut my finger off" while holding finger with bandage in the air and glove waving infront of her "are you joking" she asks.

i feel sorry for ER as apparantly many people go there to play practicle jokes on them.

Mark (nine and two thirds)

I have two pearls last weekend actually. These were both during a KIP 10 attack when I was in hosiptal.

Nurse: Cluster Headache? Isn't that like a Migraine? Don't you just need to have a lie down in a dark room?

Another nurse later: We are going to give you Oral Paracetomol. If that doesn't work we can give you some Oral Codine in an hour.

If I haven't been in agony I would have wet myself laughing  ;D

Quote:

"Your head pain is part of you, you should try to embrace it"

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Charlie

JustNotRight wrote on Aug 1^st, 2009 at 9:09am:

OMG  ;D  Did you switch therapists after that one?   Time to kick that dumb azz to the curb  :D

First and last time I saw her. I wanted to embrace her throat.

Quote:

Seaworthy First and last time I saw her. I wanted to embrace her throat.

;D


OOOOOOOOOOOOhh

I forgot about this one...my daughter reminded me of it...

Nurse: I need to take your blood pressure.

Me:  Ok

Pump pump pump...tic toc tic toc  and then...

Nurse:(turns very pale, looks at me and asks...) ARE YOU ALIVE???

Me: [smiley=crackup.gif]  Yes you are talking to me  [smiley=crackup.gif] by the way sorry I forgot to warn you my bp has a tendency to run low.