... that I'm a clusterhead, because this afternoon I got hit once again. Not that I've forgotten that fact, not for a day.

I woke up with a weird feeling and it continued. I was tired (lack of sleep, just returned from a cruise to Sweden with mom) and that means a higher risk for a hit for me. In the afternoon it hit and I found out, once again, that ch can make my happy mood sink much quicker than I had anticipated. In fact, it was scary to understand that simply one single hit can made me feel dark thoughts and go back to that bad place I once was during a long, dreadful cycle. What a reminder on a sunny day!

I know that I've been lucky in many, many ways. I'm healthier than I've been in years, my degree is almost done (finally!), I'm finally getting a chance to do what I love (trainee in a magazine) and there's a new man I'm in love with in my life. Aguess ch wanted to remind me that it's still there, that I should take it easy and take care of myself... that it can return any day, any moment and change things in my life. I don't know.

All I do know is that I'm grateful that I've been pf for these few months. I'm grateful that there are people right here who know exactly what I've been through with ch, no matter what it is. And I'm grateful that I have absolutely no idea what the future holds, so I can sit back and enjoy these precious moments which come after the pain when the world looks happier again. Pain made me feel humble again.

Thank you for being there and reading this.
DJ, your site is a life-saver once again, thank you! :)

PF wishes for all,
Sanna

[smiley=hug.gif].
Hang on Sanna, it will pass. Andrew.

sandie99 wrote on Aug 23^rd, 2009 at 2:30pm:

I know that I've been lucky in many, many ways. I'm healthier than I've been in years, my degree is almost done (finally!), I'm finally getting a chance to do what I love (trainee in a magazine) and there's a new man I'm in love with in my life.

Too many of these good things and more to forget or let Ch try to nullify, in case you need another kind of reminder.  :)   You are resilient, defend your life's gains.  Difficult past experiences aren't written in the stars again, don't face it in fear but with preparedness, and all the total support available here offered you.  Take time to attend to what's important to you, dealing with the undesirable is a strengthing part too, emerging to navigate your desires.


   

I would definitely agree with Kevin. Sanna you have a lot of good things going on your life at the moment, don't let a little CH hold you back..!


Lefty..!

Hang tough!

From your post, I'm sure the beast hasn't a chance.  Hang on kid. 8-)

Charlie

Always here for you, Sanna.   :-*

Best wishes,

George

Sanna, you have no idea how sad it made me feel waking up this morning and reading this. I am so sorry the beast has once again found your address.
You know what you need to do battle and you also have all of us right at your side 24/7.
Hang in there Sanna, you are a CH and the strongest of the strong out there!

   Barry [smiley=hug.gif]

I'm very sorry Sanna. :(

Thank you all for your posts. :)

I do know what to do should the devil return to my head, I have my energy drinks and guarana tablets ready. I just wasn't ready to face my happy mood to vanish, so I'll need to work on that part next! Your posts are a great help with that. :)

I'm aware that some new things in my life come with stress, which means a higher risk for more hits, but that will happen or won't, I'll cross that bridge then. I made it through the day without hits today and that matters a lot to me. Shadows, yes, but no hits.

Well, fall is almost here and traditionally that has meant a new cycle for me. Let's see what will happen during the next few days and weeks, ch usually can surprise me with its new tricks - this time a fall "off" would be nice change! ;D

I certainly wish, hope and pray for PF time for all of my ch sisters and brothers right here. Thank you all for being there for me, once again. :)

Lots of PF time for all,
Sanna

Keep your chin up Sanna.....

You've got a great basis for happiness and the knowledge to keep the beast from taking that away from you....

[smiley=hug.gif]

with warm regards,
Tony

Thank you, Tony. :)

Hugs,
Sanna

Sanna, fall is just around the corner here also. This is usually my time to be in cycle and I notice I have been waking up feeling a little blue and can get agitated easily. I wonder if there is a connection with starting a cycle and feeling depression? 
I have all the signs of a cycle starting but no hits yet! I dosed a couple of times this summer so maybe that will alter my cycle, time will tell.
I am sending you all the PF wishes I have, hope this is the shortest cycle ever for you! Hang in there!!

Barry,

I do hope that hits won't arrive to your house anytime soon! And I haven't begun my guarana treatment just yet, I'm going to check and see what happends during the next few days. But it's good to be prepared for everything and anything! :)

Lots of PF wishes,
Sanna