A few of you may remember my post about my boyfriend James, who has been having headaches that cause his to go blind in his left eye for about 20 minutes with serious amounts of pain. Being a good little girlfriend, I went and did my research, trying to find anything to convince him that he needs to see a real doctor, and not just an idiot of an optometrist. Well it worked! Kind of.
I have Jame convinced that he needs to see a doctor. After Dad, Becky, and I throwing around words like tumor, cancer, and break-up with you if you don't see a doctor(the last was Dad's idea) he finally got it through his head that he needs to go.
But when he went home to talk to his parents about it, do you know what they told him? That he is PARANOID! Well duh people! He's only going blind in one eye with pain so bad he breaks down and cries. They fought both last night and this morning before school. He called me when he was on the bus and said he isn't going home. They refuse to help him and it's only going to hurt him.
So to my point. Does any one have ANY ideas on how to get this boy help? He's only 16, turning 17 in August, so there's not much he can legally do himself. Right now he is scared and upset and my hands are tied. Any ideas at all would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. Love and luck my friends.

~Felicia.

He could apply for legal emancipation....

True, but would that make him ineligible for medical benefits (assuming he has benefits from his parents)?

Perhaps he should try a different approach. Maybe taking the time to write a letter to his parents about his pain and how it is affecting his vision, and then asking them to get him a referral to another doctor (neuro?) as a 2nd opinion. If he spills out his heart, maybe they will "listen".  Perhaps the in person discussions get too volitile in the process and that's why he hasn't gotten anywhere.

Legal emancipation ONLY if all other avenues have been exhausted.

Felicia,

Sometimes I don't understand parents like this at all.  If my child were in this kind of pain and being blinded for 20 mins.  I'd be busting my butt to get him help.  IMMEDIATELY!!!

In my opinion he needs an advocate.  Does he have grandparents,  an Aunt or Uncle,  older sibling or a very close friend he can turn to, at the very least to talk some sense into his Mom and Dad?  and at the most..take him to see a doctor themselves? 

I really feel bad for him Felicia, but he has a very good supporter in you.   :-*

Ok updates! (Felicia using Becky's account here) He went to the school councler today and she called his parents threatening to call child services if they didn't do something. So he has an appointment first thing tomorrow morning. YAY! Almost.
Now they are throwing a fit because they still think nothing is wrong and offered to make him immancipate. That or move south so that his dad can get a job as a truck driver and his witch of a step mother doesn't have to stay home alone with him. He doesn't have a job to support himself and he doesn't want to leave.
Some times I think one step forward is also about five or eight steps back.

~Felicia.

Denial is a powerful thing. It's used by people that won't admit that they need a little help. They usually perceive it as weakness.

Good to hear the latest news though. I doubt that anything anyone says to these parents will change their position.

Charlie

the 1st thing i would do is bitch slap his parants

Honey, just hang in there with him. He needs all the support he can get right now. You can't change his parents, but you can be there for him. Sounds like your parents are there also.. that's all you can do -- just care and it sounds like you do.

Stories like this just make me want to cry. I'm with Linda - if it were my child, I'd be moving heaven and earth to get him help. I just don't understand some parents.
:-*

Updates are always lovely. He had his appointment at 9:30 this morning and hell froze over my friends. His parents are now admitting that everything is not fine in this boy's head. (No pun intended.) They are actually worried about him which is a first in the almost 10 months I've been dating him.
But on to the doctor. They don't think he has a tumor but they are continuing to search for what could be causing this. They did a drug test and when they have the results they will do a CAT scan. The only thinking I can figure for the drug test is he probably told them that he takes no pills what so ever. He is dead set against medication of any kind. One of the reasons it was so hard for me to get him to go see the doctor in the first place.
A CAT scan wasn't exactly what I was hoping for (call me far fetched when I had my fingers crossed for an MRI) but it is one step in the right direction. His parents finally getting on board is another. Hopefully the test results come in soon so I can figure out what's up once and for all. I hate seeing him like this. Thanks for all your support.

~Felicia.

I figured once he was able to see a doc that his parents would wake up.  Sometimes we need a little dose of reality to help us realize not everything is overly dramatic. ;)

Glad he's now getting some help!  You are a very caring gf Felicia.

GOOD on that school counselor.  She deserves her pay this month.

And GOOD on you Felicia.  If I ever get to meet this BF of yours, I intend to tell him how lucky he is to have you.  Dark poetry, or not.   ;D ;D ;D

Damn girl...the next time I'm in a pickle I want YOU as my advocate.  :)

Joe

Lol thanks all but once again I have news. He went back to the idiot optomitrist this morning and guess what he said? Either occular migraines or (ta-da!)cluster headaches. Just what I need; yet another of you insane clusterheads on my hands. (Just kidding you know I love y'all. :-*)
Anywho, he has another regular doctor's appointment with Dr.Khan on Monday so hopefully things will get straightened out relatively soon. He got hit again last night while we were out to dinner with my grandfather and it hurts to see him in so much pain. Trying to lead a half blind man out of a chinese resturant is not easy during dinner hour.
Thanks again for all the help and support. Powers know this hasn't been easy on either of us so let's pray that its almost over. If not I may have to write some of Linda's favorite dark poetry again. ;)

~Felicia.

Chinese restaurant = MSG. Major trigger for some.

Felicia,

I get ocular migraines.  They aren't painful, just inconvenient.  Didn't know what they were til we had a Calif. get-together and someone started talkng about them.   I don't think they have anything to do with CH....just a really bizarre occurance.  My brother has them too and he has never had CH.  Neither one of us goes blind..just hard to focus or read due to the flashing lights.  20 mins later they're gone.

Here is the closest thing I found on-line.

Ocular Migraines
(Ophthalmic or Eye Migraines)By Marilyn Haddrill; contributions and
review by Charles Slonim, MD

Ophthalmic (eye) migraines are quite common and often painless, although the solo term "migraine" usually brings to mind a severe type of headache.

But with eye-related migraines, visual disturbances with or without headache pain also can accompany migraine processes thought to be related to changes in blood flow in the brain.

These visual problems associated with migraines technically are known as ophthalmic migraines, but are much more commonly (though incorrectly) called ocular migraines. Because most laypeople understand the term better, this article refers to the condition as "ocular migraine."

Migraines can be produced by the body's neurological responses to certain triggers such as hormonal changes, flashing lights or chemicals in foods or medications. One result of these triggers may be an intense headache that, if untreated, can last for hours or even days.

During migraine processes, changes also may take place in blood flow to the area of the brain responsible for vision (visual cortex or occipital lobe). Resulting ophthalmic or ocular migraines commonly can produce visual symptoms even without a headache.

Ocular Migraine Symptoms
People with ocular migraines can have a variety of visual symptoms. Typically you will see a small, enlarging blind spot (scotoma) in your central vision with bright, flickering lights (scintillations) or a shimmering zig-zag line (metamorphopsia) inside the blind spot. The blind spot usually enlarges and may move across your field of vision. This entire migraine phenomenon may end in only a few minutes, but usually lasts as long as about 20-30 minutes.

Generally, ocular migraines are considered harmless. Usually they are painless, cause no permanent visual or brain damage and do not require treatment.

Still, always consult your eye doctor when you have unusual vision symptoms, because it's possible that you have another condition requiring treatment, such as a detached retina, which should be checked out immediately.


You've been around the block several times in your youing life with clusters.   If a doctor is telling him something that that does NOT seem right, go with him and question, question question.  Let that Doctor know that YOU know what you are talking about.  Can Becky or your Dad go with him?????

Thanks Linda. Thats useful to know. Unfortunately his parents won't let me or my parents go with him. They feel they can handle their child on their own.
Plus they are currently not one of my biggest fans because I am the one causing so much hastle for them. Before I came around James never complained about headaches or any other type of pain for that matter. So of course it's my fault. But as long as he is getting the help he needs, I can handle taking that blame.
Tomorrow he has another appointment with Dr.Khan, and hopefully he will be getting his CAT scan then. As always I will keep you updated. Thank you all so much for the help and advice. Luck and love.

~Felicia.

You might want to give James a list of questions to ask whenever he goes to the doctor.

I would LOVE to have a sit-down with his parents.

    5 mins. is all I'd need.  >:(