Ok I had another brain cell commit suicide, let me know if it did it right ok.

Family and Fire

The walk into the middle of hell,
So many of us know this quite well.
Stay together the fire swells,
Keep your head down we always tell.

Bright turns black if done right,
Even when fast stay in the fight.
It turns on you the air relights,
Hold your ground dig in real tight.

Controlled chaos some will say,
Some one watching thinks all is ok.
Panic comes while deep they must stay,
Breathing gets hard it is not time to play.

A bell rings out you’re lost in time,
You stayed to long the bell’s a chime.
Time to move runs through your mind,
Been in to long is there really time.

Another bell your partners air,
Look in his eyes shows you are there.
No time to think for the door you stare,
The line you brought in shows you where.

This time you got out will your luck always hold,
The fire inside is some how so cold.
You can’t tell your family you may not grow old,
Some how they know without being told.

This life is not easy it is truly a calling,
You family the heroes their lives ever stalling.
You bring them inside in your heart every time,
Did you tell them you love them runs through your mind.


Michael R. Macomber
06/29/2010

An affecting capture of thought rendered, Michael.   


Quote:

the middle of hell, it is not time to play.

So much risk.


Quote:

is there really time. You can’t tell your family you may not grow old, Some how they know without being told.

to be called a job.


Quote:

it is truly a calling,

Quote:

Did you tell them you love them

Quote:

Family and Fire

:)

Thanks Kevin, glad you understand where my last cell went.
I was also hoping to hear from someone else of whom I value their opinion.
I guess since i have been awol for a while i dont get the smack down they love to give.

Kevin, as I said to someone else on another thread, whenever you're brave enough to put a poem out there, you deserve something in response. The best elements of your poem reflect the use of evocative imagery, and the emotional content is clear, if not somewhat vague. So while we get the emotion those of us who don't know you might not "get" the personal meaning you intend. I also liked your use of compression but watch out for the forced rhymes and syntax. Keep it conversational, use alliteration and slant rhyme more, and hold one image a little longer before moving on to the next. All in all, effective.

BTW, I prefer the rendering: nolite illegitimos conterere vos. Just kiddin'. Thanks for the poem. lance

wimsey1 wrote on Jul 28^th, 2010 at 2:14pm:

Kevin, as I ...

It was Ghostwritten.    ;)

Yeah, sorry Kevin, and Ghost. Ghost, please accept my comments as directed to your poem and not to Kevin's reply. But all ya'll probably knew to do that anyway.  :-[ lance

One of the last times I saw my Dad alive he was being transferred to the hospital from the home.

I followed the ambulance. His emergency room was filled with the staff personnel hooking all the necessary wires to him and finally I was able to sit with him alone.

He wasn't even aware of my presence. His pain was ever present.

It wasn't until I placed my palm on his forehead that he finally looked up at me with eyes that were no longer brown...but blue...but only around the edges. 

After a while I sat down in the chair in the room and decided to play a game that my daughter and I played when she was little.  It was called, "what do you hear?".

I heard the staff talking in the hallway, I could hear the monitors, I could hear the air coming through the diffusers and finally, I could hear the clock on the wall...ticking away...loudly and incessantly.

Once I heard it, all of the other sounds in the room vanished. As this hit me I remembered a friend saying that the reason your dad is hanging on is to teach you one more lesson. Well there it is.

Be 100% alive as much as you can stand. The journey is quick and there is a lot to experience. Get to it.

I pray that this post does not steel the thunder of your work. In fact it prompted the things I recall of the past two weeks.  Your words are well crafted. I hope that my understanding is as you intended. But know it evoked my recent memories anyway.


When I look around I'm hard pressed to find someone as lucky as me. My siblings were all I expected and that's how it's always been. It's been quite the journey watching my dad reach the finish line. Through it all I've come to realize that I have the best brothers and sister of anyone I know.

Good work. Thanks,

Steve "The Black Sheep" G

Hey Steve, super great post! You should consider turning such good words into a poem as well. Thanks for the heartfelt sharing. Blessings. lance

Mike, Ghost, Goatie, you poem is beautiful. 

Thank you

Sandy

Sorry I havent benn back for a while thnks for the comments and suggestions I will take them to heart and see what happens.

Again I thank everyone here and all those who was able to read this even if they dont comment maybe it helped someone. and Steve that was truely beautiful.

Goat