Hi folk. You may know me from previous posts. I do hope so.
I am in a quandry. So is my wife without saying.

We ae not yet sure. But does anybody here know of any source like this one for support?

I love this woman. We have been maried 25 years. I cannot imagine

I was always supposed to go first.

Christ, I wanted to go first. She is my life.

I am so sorry your wife and you have to go through this.  I pray everything turns out ok.

I found this... START PRINTPAGEMultimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to or END PRINTPAGE The list of cancer support groups is listed down the center of the page.  You may also find this link useful START PRINTPAGEMultimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to or END PRINTPAGE

You both are in my thoughts and prayers.

I echo Ginger's prayers and thoughts. I do not know of a support group like this for cancer, although I'm certain there must be one. I do know this: your time with the Beast has been good training for what lies ahead. You and your wife will be challenged, tested, pushed and pulled-but you are strong enough for whatever comes your way. I know, easy for someone to say, but I've battled a lot, too, and you will be up for this because you have to be. God bless! lance

Will add you and your wife to our prayer intentions.  [smiley=hug.gif]

Joe

My thoughts are with you.

Just like with CH, get a diagnosis and then learn all you can about it and what needs to be done. Then work with your doctors to get the best treatment in place.

Dear Bob,
I am going to take this very carefully, because, as a survivor myself- STILL going through treatment, I have some VERY strong feelings on this subject.
First off, Cancer is no longer an automatic death sentence. That being said, the SOONER you get a diagnosis, the better off you are!
PLEASE, do not play ostrich! The first step is to find out if you're correct...then, take time to hold each other tight, one way or the other....then, move on to enjoying every day together either without the inconvenience of Dr's and treatments, or with those interferences.
Find good Drs, if you have cancer. Preferably a group which will work together in concert on her particular disease. Trust these professionals enough to follow their recommendations to the letter after getting every question answered.
All of the above cannot happen until you get the DX, and, again, the sooner, the better.
Meanwhile, remember, each day, with a cancer dx or not, is a gift.
Now, please, grab her hand, and the two of you, go together and fight this with all the strength you have.

Please keep us posted...and, pm me if you'd like to speak to a survivor.
Huge hugs and love to you both, along with fervent prayers "you" are benign.

Cathi

Bob...please listen to Cathi.   She has not only supported me with Family Services, with MY CH she has been a rock in her own treatment of Cancer.

Just like this site right here is a blessing to all newcomers who don't know what to do about the pain of CH...Cathi can help you with the other pain because she's going through it right now.  PM her.  Talk to her on the phone or in an e-mail.   This lady is one of the best.  You don't know me but I am asking you to trust me on this one.    O.K.?

Linda

Hi Bob

What Cathi says is right; I have been supporting my wife with breast cancer now for just over a year with the future looking bright, like Cathi, Nina is a survivor.

If you want a supporters point of view or just a talk by PM or Email please feel free.

I’m not a praying man but my heart goes with you, you will win.

Kindest
Barry

Linda, thank you for the soo kind words- they touch me. I will try never to let you down, girl!

Barry, first, I am sorry you and Nina must fight this too...my husband, Gil has been my biggest source of strength as well as tenderness through this. I'm glad it looks like you have the same relationship with your wife!

Tom, we are all here to help where we can- PLEASE let us!

My love to both of you.........HUSBANDS ROCK!

Ca ;)thi

Thank you everybody.

We have a meeting Friday morning with a team of doctors at the hospital. I will keep you posted.

Bob

I will be awaiting the results with all my fingers and toes crossed, a lucky rabbit's foot in my hand, and fervent prayers for good results, Bob!
Now, till Fri, remember to inhale and exhale, repeating as necessary-and it might help if you two go out for a bit of an escape-sometimes the fear can become palpable, but, today, there is NOTHING to fear!
Keep us posted!(and pm one of us, or ask for a phone number-or send yours in a pm, if you wish to talk!)
Cathi
Cathi

It just goes to show how sensitive folks here are. After re-reading my initial post, I thought that folks would wonder what the heck I was talking about. I did not realize I omitted the word Cancer from the post altogether. You all are spot on.

Thanks again.

Edit: I see the title now. My mind is gone :)

Bob,
there's one thing I meant to mention.  There are a TON of cancer support groups out there- all you have to do is google, but, after about 2 days, I found my fears growing, my attitude fading and I told my husband I wasn't sure I wanted to do anything, and I regretted ever mentioning my fears to my Dr........

Sometimes, those sites can be scary-furthermore, cancer, much like CH, is unique to each person, site, involvement, genetics-soo many variables! Please be careful about digging into these sites, there are many people who will share the worst-case scenarios without even knowing what YOU are dealing with.

That  said, I do hope you will post soon to let us know what is happening-and I promise to think good thoughts for you while we wait!
NOW, I'm done!
Cathi ;)

This is Marian, Bob's wife.

I want to thank everyone for their kind words and encouragement. It has really helped me and Bob.

My doctor was worst than useless and I did not find out my diagnosis until 5 days after my second mammogram. He left a voice mail and told me to call his office and schedule a meeting with a surgeon. I won't waste your time on all of the excuses that were offered about the his lack of professionalism and/or sensitivity. He will be gotten rid of in due time.

A wonderful doctor at the hospital put me in touch with their Breast cancer clinic and I had my first meeting with my team (medical oncologist, radiation oncologist and surgeon) last friday. I also had my MRI and I am waiting for the results.

Your voices were with me and helped us to stay strong and focused. It has been very uplifting to know that there are so many good kind people in the world and we are not alone.

chbob04 wrote on Oct 24^th, 2010 at 8:07pm:

This is Marian, Bob's wife. I want to thank everyone for their kind words and encouragement. It has really helped me and Bob. Your voices were with me and helped us to stay strong and focused. It has been very uplifting to know that there are so many good kind people in the world and we are not alone.

No one is ever alone unless the want to be. Kinda restores your faith in the human race, huh? You are in my prayers now and always, as are all who suffer in this life. Keep us informed, and God bless! lance

Expecting to read your success story soon on this board! [smiley=hug.gif]

Joe

Dear Marian & Bob,
In the world of cancer, that is good news! Surgery, radiation and the next generation of hormone therapy(at least this was MY experience).and I am almost done with my radiation.
Huge props to you for early detection!
If you are wondering about what is involved with the treatment, while it is fresh in my mind, I'd gladly tell you- none of it is unsurmountable.....and, by spring, it'll just be a memory.
Please call on me anytime you need support-especially if I don't see a post.
Be strong, be healthy and be happy- your story is nowhere near the end!
Best,
Cathi :-*

Marc wrote on Oct 25^th, 2010 at 8:04pm:

There you go again, offering support and inspiration while in the midst of your own battle......... That says a lot about what kind of person you are. (aside from just being really wise  ;))

We second (and third) this motion.

Cathi, you are indeed an inspiration.

  Thanks.

Bob

I learned well from a certain Clusterhead..........he's quite wise, too...... :P

Well folks, sorry to take so long to post an update.

The MRI last week showed that there were no other cancers, and the one instance was only 9 mm, not the 12 mm they originally thought.

Today was the surgery. No indication was found that there was any spread to any lymph nodes, and the Surgeon said "the margin looks good". There will be tests on what was removed, and we should know more in a week or two.

I was sort of in shock when I first came here to start this thread, but the CH support I have experienced made me feel comfortable in doing so. I was not disappointed.

Many thanks to all of you, and especially Cathi.

I will keep you posted.

Bob

I'm really happy that the outlook is on the bright side.

Me too. Thanks for the update. :)

Bob, that news is wonderful & I am so glad you are keeping us updated.  Please don't stop now.

Besides Cathi, there are others right here on this board who are Cancer survivors as well.  All of them were scared as hell at the beginning, but dealt with the fear and are now living more productive lives than ever before. 

I agree with Cathi about being careful with support groups you may look into and for the reasons she mentioned.   This site here, for CH is, in my opinion unique and very special. With other groups, that isn't always the case.

Big hugs to Marian and to you.   [smiley=hug.gif]

Terrific News!!!  Time to Celebrate [smiley=me&mb.gif]!!

Great news, I'm happy for you both.  The waiting is unbearable but worth it, wouldn't you say?

My thoughts and prayers go out to Cathi, Nina and anyone else on the site in their battle as well.   May Cathi's positive attitude be an inspiration to us all.

Great news to hear!

I wish I could have placed a parental block on Marian's PC. She hit some site which scared her very much. She read some information describing a case of metastasis leading to the brain and elsewhere. I really did not respond, except to kid her about applying parental controls on her web searches.

We are really kind of cool right now about all this. We just spent a bit of money on one of our cats' teeth cleaning.

I really do not know how I feel. I am afraid, and when Marian asks me, I do not lie. Sure I am afraid. I wish I could take her fear and toss it away.

Sorry folks. As I said, the operation was last Thursday, and it could take a week or two to get results.

I am glad you are here. I had to express myself.


Thanks

   Bob

Glad you and your wife are both here, Bob. Take care of her, and yourself. Praying for the best news possible! lance

Good news. We have a voicemail from the surgeon who performed the lumpectomy.

"The margins are good and the lymph nodes are clean"

Let me tell you, Marian has not been this high in a long time. I played the .wav file to her over the phone. Twice.

I don't think either of us were really aware of just how tense we were.

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Great news!  Glad to hear it..

Well can I get an alleluia!!!!! That's great news! [smiley=shore.gif]

Joe

Alleluia!!!!!  Congrats!

That is awsome news indeed.

YAY!!!!!

Can I get an AMEN?





Quote:

She hit some site which scared her very much.

   I believe that is what Cathi was talking about. 

Good onya.

          Potter

I am happy for you guys.

Linda_Howell wrote on Nov 10^th, 2010 at 5:49pm:

Quote: She hit some site which scared her very much.    I believe that is what Cathi was talking about.

AMEN. That is exactly what we said to each other. First thing, Marian un-subscribed to that site.

  Bob

Bob & Marian
That really is great news; it looks like you got to it quick enough & that's the value of being vigilant, had Nina missed the mammogram early last year she may not have been here today.

We are off to Perth in just over a week for Nina's 6 monthly check with the specialist & if that's clear she can then proceed with the reconstruction.

She hasnt lost her sense of humor through this, she reckons that one breast look like a rose bud & the other a dried flower arrangement.

Cheers
Barry

Well, Wednesday is Marian's first chemotherapy session. She is a bit concerned about the hair loss. I keep telling her how beautiful she is. She really is.

I know this site really is about CH. Lord, I remember last August wondering if death would not be preferable to the pain I was feeling.

I thank you all.

[smiley=hug.gif]  Keeping you in my thoughts and sending prayers for a quick recovery.

Bob, So ,it's Chemo they recommended? Well, okay then. We count on our medical professionals to be on top of their game- and, if they're right, chemo is the best course of treatment!
Please encourage Marian to plan a special day, with a daughter/best friend/you, have A MARVELOUS LUNCH OUT, then go to a good wig shop. Your Oncologist can help you with this. If she has the wig waiting, it will be easier to make the transition.
We had the same fears and feelings of despair that you described, Bob, and we determind that some hurling and hair loss were a small price to pay compared to " not being round".........Gil didn't allow me that option.
He's a smart man, coz all went well.
As for the 'scary sites", I liken it to going to a baby shower. All the moms want to share their horrid birthing stories-"OMG! I was in HARRRD labor for 7 days and 14 hrs"...worst-case scenarios. Fact is, nobody wants to have surgery, noone wants to begin taking handfulls of pills, or regular treatments, some of it is fine, some hurts a bit, but the benefits FAR outweigh the bad. As I explained to someone recently, It wasn't a trip to Disneyland, but it also was nowhere near as bad as I feared!
Bob, you're a wonderful support system!
You and Marian hang on tight- you'll both be fine- together.
Still watching!
Cathi ;)

Yes, it seems that the chemo was our only option. Theoretically, the lumpectomy got the entire tumor, and there is no sign of any others. The treatment now is one series of chemo every other week for 8 weeks, followed by another series every week for 12 weeks, followed by radiation treatment.

Due to the fact that tests were triple negative for the hormone receptors, other treatment options were not open to us. This treatment is statistically supposed to reduce chances of recurrence from 20% to 10% within the next 5 years. Or 10 years. I am still confused about too many details.

My sister-in-law took Marian to her hair-dresser who has had cancer patients in the past. We have a script for a “cranial prosthesis”. What a scary name for a wig?

I will keep you posted when I have more. Thank you.

Bob

Keep us posted Bob.  We're all interested and we all care deeply. 

As a husband. you are doing exactly the right thing.   It's NOT gonna be as dark as you think.   It will get better. My prayers are going up to her daily. Just keep strong Bob.

We'll keep the prayers and love coming. You keep her propped up through all this! [smiley=heart.gif] [smiley=hug.gif]

Joe

OMG! I have been soo remiss! Barry! Nina has been through a full mastectomy, chemo and now is healed..she is ready for reconstructive.........THAT IS WONDERFUL! And I very much support her attitude.... HUMOR and determination take you far! Again, I am humbled! I had a lumpectomy, rather than a full mastectomy, I had it easy! Nina,barry, please know, I'm standing behind you both right now, just as I am Bob and Marian.
I used to say The Beast can nEVER win- now, it's amended..... Neither the BEAST nor cancer can ever win!
WE will be the winners- and life is a little bit sweeter when you know you've beaten the odds!
Cathi ;)

chbob04 wrote on Nov 4^th, 2010 at 5:46pm:

Today was the surgery. No indication was found that there was any spread to any lymph nodes, and the Surgeon said "the margin looks good". There will be tests on what was removed, and we should know more in a week or two. Bob

Hi Bob
That really is good news & is as good as verbatim as Nina experienced; we are back in Perth again so that Nina could complete the reconstruction surgery but unfortunately they have found signs of very very early cancer in the other breast so we will be back again in Feb to remove the other breast & complete the reconstruction, the one good thing of this is that in both cases it has been found early & those we love will be around to give orders for some time to come ;).

You & Marian are in our thoughts.

Cheers
Barry

Happy news.

Yesterday Marian had a haircut. First one in almost a year. She was absolutely exstatic.

Yup. We went through the Chemo and radiation. All subsequent tests look good. There has yet to be another mamogram (?sp), so we are hopefull.

I know that this is a nutshell of the past year, and I appologize for that. You can be assured that you were a great benefit for her, she read all your posts and e-mail.

We are as strong as we ever have been.

Thanks for being here.


Bob

That's fantastic news! Sending positive vibes your way to keep the good news coming! [smiley=shore.gif]

Joe