I have a brother aged 53, 5'
9", 340lbs., diagnosed with congestive heart failure and several mental conditions, he's on Social Security. He has been living with my Father, aged 77, 5'8" 135lbs, has had 2 surgeries for colon cancer, currently treating prostate cancer.

This past Friday I picked up a new microwave for them, when I got home after a visit with a friend, my brother was at my house and asked me to carry the microwave to the car for him. I told him to carry it himself, he refused so I gave him some crap.

He told me he paid his neighbor to bring things into the house for him. Yeah right, his neighbor is our Father, who will also lie about things like this just so I won't yell at my brother.

Forgive me for posting this, I just know I have to do something and had to vent a little. And to me this is uglier than CH.

Don

No need to apologize for posting, Don.  I can hear your frustration.  We pick our friends, but our relatives are something else again.  It can be a real pisser sometimes. 

On a better note, I've been meaning to send my respects, and thank you for talking to our mutual friend, Karl, about stuff he's been dealing with.  He speaks very highly of you.

Best,

George

Thank you kindly George, I needed that. Karl is quite the guy, and I'm very happy for him and his lovely girlfriend Kelly.

Ask him about the deal of the century on a demand valve at the OUCH convention, he paid almost half of what I did. Smart guy.

Don

Don,

I understand your frustration but keep this in mind.

No one can be taken advantage of without their permission. 

Linda_Howell wrote on Nov 1^st, 2010 at 11:54am:

Don, I understand your frustration but keep this in mind. No one can be taken advantage of without their permission.

That's true Linda... but some parents don't see it that way... no matter how old they get, they feel an obligation to take care of their child(ren).. and some children take advantage of that (I know I've seen it in my own family)..

They tend to put a quilt trip on the parent(s); you loved him/her more than me, you didn't treat me right, I wish I was dead and on, and on, and on...

Also some elderly people (especially when they have medical problems) don't like living alone, so in order to keep the person residing with them happy, they go over and beyond...

Skyhawk, I feel you..  Just hang in there...

LadyLuv

Codependancy can be an ugly thing.  I'm dealing with some of that with my own Mom.  My heart goes out to you Don. 

Listen to your heart, count to 10, then decide what to do.

-Dennis-