My wedding and the wedding reception went very well. There was just one thing I could have lived without, one comment that I still do not know what I should have said...

As you have noticed from the wedding pictures, I'm short. I've always been short, and I didn't have a problem with it.

Until I was bullied in school because of it.

Believe me, over the years I've heard pretty much every word one can use about it. And it did hurt, for years, because I'm normal, just short. I know that there are people who are short because of illness, people who have a medical reason to be short. I'm just short, end of the story.

So, I've used to hearing about it from kids, drunks and mom's former neighbor. Yes, she had the guts to ask if I can drive a normal car... ::) But I didn't expect to hear a rude comment about my height - at all places - at my very own home during my wedding reception. Yet it happened.

My new relative, Esa's aunt from his father's side, said her congratulations, then asked if I changed my name, that normal stuff. She was given a glass of pommac (the non-alcoholic soft drink we used instead of champagne) and guided to the living room. On her way there she managed to say:
I hope your children will not be that short.

I don't recall what I said to her, because I'm still a bit shocked that she said that. Out of the blue. I did feel like this: [smiley=yikes.gif] [smiley=confused.gif] [smiley=huh.gif] [smiley=JAW_DROP.gif]
And to be honest, I still do.

I did talk about the matter with Esa. I wanted to know if - for some reason - his relatives had a problem with my height. The aunt is tall herself, so clearly it is an issue for her, but why? My other godmother is my height and she and her husband have four tall boys. My mother, my aunts and my new mother-in-law are all just a bit taller than I am.

I also told my husband that if we're blessed with children, I will not tolerate any remarks like that about them. >:( There goes my limit. It's not wise to mess with a short clusterhead. ;)

Sanna

Belated congratulations Sanna   :-[ :-*

There are people out there that can never be totally happy when they are not the center of attention and always have to make comments (in my case mainly relatives LoL)
One of the things you could have said is that you hope any children you have are small otherwise giving birth is going to be a very painful experience  ;D

Don't let her get to you as you are a truly wonderful person  :-*

My response would have been to look at her with the nicest/sweetest expression that I could muster and say, "well, I hope when we do, they are not as rude as you!".

Wow. Unbelievable!

I would have probably been caught off guard as well. But maybe I would have said, "but it's so fun to shop in the petite stores, the clothes are so much cuter!"

I probably would have said, "What business is it of yours??".  I've said this to judgemental in-laws in the past and will continue to do so in the future.

Don't let her comment get to you Sanna, it's SO not worth your energy!

Hugs,
:)mel

Unbelievably rude!!  As the mother of two very petite girls, I'm offended.  Despite their petiteness, they are both happy, healthy and well adjusted.....go figure!  The only problem they both have had recently is that people (strangers) think it is ok to walk up to them and pick them up!  Both of them had this problem when they attended an outdoor concert.  Luckily they had very large guy friends there to rescue them.  Yes, they are cute and tiny, but that is never cool.

Sorry to hear your wedding day was tarnished by this ignorant twit comment, Sanna.  Some people are completely clueless.  Size does not make a person, what's inside does. 

I agree with everyone else...RUDE!!!

I would've smiled sweetly and said well you know what they say...sometimes the best things come in small packages  :)

isn't it funny?  i've always wished i was petite.

i would say that rude comments come from those who are jealous. 

you are beautiful, sanna... inside and out!

jeannie

There is no response to that sort of rudeness.  Nothing you say will change her mind or her heart.

I'm short too, and the best advice I ever got was "be a duck" - as in let the rudeness roll off your back.  People are stupid in general and clueless for the most part.  Let it roll off your back.

I had a former friend/jerk comment at my wedding "so how long do you expect this fiasco to last (referring to my marriage)?"  I really wanted to send him a card on every one of our anniversaries with the amount of time this "fiasco" has lasted . . . 29 years this year!  But instead I let it roll off my back.

Be happy in your marriage - that's all that matters.

I've a friend who is 6'8 and he is constantly getting all these kind of comments too. For some crazy reason people think they are being witty (or something) to joke about it.

Sanna, I am so sorry you were at the receiving end of this rude remark by "Auntie"  :(
You do not want to know what I would have said to her! >:(
I grew up and still to this day get called "skinny" and usually by people who should look at themselves first before passing judgement to another..
You sure were a beautiful bride and Esa is quite handsome!  8-)

Maybe you should have just looked her in the face and said “well I sure would rather them be short than ugly” “no offence” lol
It amazes me when you hear about how rude people can be at a wedding, my own was no different. My father for some reason and to this day I do not know why and do not want to know especially since I divorced her, but he grabbed my wife’s butt not once but twice once in the church and once at the reception but my x-wife told him after the second time that she would knock him down the stairs if he did it again and no I did not see it happen and did not find out until after when we were gone. Some people just have to put others down to make themselves feel better I guess. I know a family like this, I don’t get it but it happens and I am very sorry that that has to be one of the memories of you wedding day.

Once again, thank you for your posts. They made me laugh and feel much better about it. :)

What really got me about the comment was when it was said. I have met this aunt 3 times before, so she had had time to think about it. But why to say it at a wedding reception to the bride at her home? That part is still weird to me. I will, however, put that comment behind me, but I know me: I will be on guard the next time I'll meet her, whenever that will be. Luckily, she lives far away and we're not planning a visit there anytime soon.

Dape.... thank you! :) I have relatives who make all sorts of comments, but they are funny, not rude, and they know where the limit is and don't (usually) cross it.


Quote:

sometimes the best things come in small packages

I actually have a mobile phone bag with that very same text and a picture of the Disney character Piglet. :)


Quote:

“well I sure would rather them be short than ugly”

That cracked me up, thank you Matt! ;D And I am sorry about what happened at your wedding. Some people simply do not know the limit.

Sanna

look..... when people make comments about you its not about you its about them..... I mean lets be real... she's in your dog house for life

for the record and I know someone said something along the same lines earlier.... Im not 6'8 but im 6'4 except I was 6'4 when I was like 13.... I couldnt walk and chew gum at the same time let alone play sports. In fact I was ok at ftball and didnt gain any athletic ability until after no one cared anymore.

it doesnt matter what your cross to bear is, people will always have something to say. Now. I am really good at dishing out advice but should prob follow my own.

The ch have given me some perspective. Im not saying turn the other cheek and be nice to her... just focus on you