...it may not be as light as some but then again when have I ever been the type to write light lovey poetry? Some bad memories and events of late triggered this. The lack of sleep and empty house probably didn't help things though. But you asked for it so here it is. Hope you...can't say I hope you like it...so I hope you find it interesting at least. PF wishes my friends.
~Felicia.

Turn the Page
Why is that just seeing you puts the taste of cigarettes in my mouth?
I crave the things I swore I’d given up, thanks to you.
You’re a death sentence with red hair and a fake smile.
The mirrors in the room show the side I thought I’d killed in me.
The side you created, the way you made, the one that hates who I am.
You were supposed to be the one who protected me!
Instead you taught me I could trust no one but myself,
That the ones closest to me would only use, abuse, and hurt me.
I tried for too long to put you behind me.
Nothing you can say will change what you've done.
If I have to run I will; I’ll never go back.
I want to love myself, who I am, what I've become.
Everyone who knows thinks I’m a terrible soul.
But they could never understand.
Neither could you. Because all you saw were you and yours.
I’m not an outsider. Not anymore.
I MADE ME! I MADE MYSELF WHO I AM!
And I’ll be damned if I let you take that away from me.

Dunno what the problem is between you and George, Felicia, but do you really believe this is the right place to publicly air such grievances?

I could be wrong here Brian...but I think Felicia addressed George in this poem of hers, because he has always been supportive of her writing, even though as we have always told her..it should't always be so DARK!  right Felicia?  ;)

Always glad to see your writing, Felicia--even when it's inspired by what must have been dark days and hard times.

Seeing hardship and the causes of it clearly are, I think, a part of finding other paths to the future.  But it's not all darkness, just as it isn't all light and fluffiness and unicorns.  I know you know that.   

Fortunately, the world is neither good nor bad--it just is.  In the main, we choose and create our lives.  (Although there's a certain randomness in the mix as well, just to make things interesting.)  ;)

I don't believe we should let those who have treated us badly control our emotions, our lives, or our futures.  Others only have power over us if we allow it. 

I'm not saying that we should forgive betrayal and forget it, but I am saying that betrayal loses its power when we push it, and those who caused it, away.  Sometimes the best thing to do with bad people is to say goodbye to them--in our lives, in our minds, and in our hearts.

There's a lot of good ahead, you know.  :-)

(Just for the sake of clarity to anyone who's curious, Linda's right.  Felicia and I have not had any sort of falling out.  We've never actually met in the unvirtual world, as a matter of fact.  And I sure don't recall any sort of argument in the virtual one.)

Best always,

George      

Linda you are correct. In my last post George asked for a recent poem so I was making sure he saw it. And when have you ever known me to be anything but dark? :P Sorry for the confusion Brian.
~Felicia.

I know Felicia, But please re-read Georges post again.  I think I...more than anyone on this board, have given you a hard time about your negative writing, Haven't I?   ;)  It's because I care about you and your family a lot and when you were only 14 or 15 I thought no-one your age should feel so badly about life, about people, about the future.

    Ya know I love ya little one.  :-*

I don't see it as so dark a writing, though the experience felt is saddeningly dark before a long dawn.  George coins a key statement that has made the "steeling effect" of resilience in many a great person when times are tough to see it through to good outcomes.


George wrote on Jul 22^nd, 2012 at 9:34pm:

Seeing hardship and the causes of it clearly are, I think, a part of finding other paths to the future.

Like a vaccine, taking a certain amount of hurt can make us hardier souls who won't lose sight of the other ways the future can be.



Expanding socially, taking in closely a new friend or friends has it's risks.  We extend ourselves to others and receive back.  It takes time to see, experience, and feel in what light we are held by another.  Time, and decisions made, to find the voice to turn the page and go on and look for the fair quality that keeps a smile without complete avoidance of risk again.  As we learned with clusters, pain is great motivator to change.  ;)

Our attractions may not have our best interests when you've something to give, but these past experiences help discern the choice to keep space between, leaving ourselves open to better times.  :)