So I was sitting at lunch today with my mom and a few others who were visiting from out of town and the subject of my job situation came up.

I stated that I would prefer to get back into self employment opposed to working for somebody else.  One of my several reasons I stated I would prefer self employment is due to my medical condition of CH's that I anticipate will return this August/Sep.  If I were self employed, then I could pre-arrange somebody else to handle the business for me, opposed to getting fired or FMLA, embarrassment among co-workers, etc.

My mom stated "it sounds like you want the CH's to return in Aug/Sep and that you may very well get your CH's because it is a self fulfilling prophecy."

I said to her "I know my cycles are every other year, on odd years, in the Fall, starting Aug/Sep, left sided and have suffered for the past 32 years, with the exception of a 6 yr remission.  It is not a self fulfilling prophecy and nothing that I can think to stop it from happening will make it stop, just as nothing I can think it to start, will make it start.  It is your lack of education on this disease I suffer from that has you speaking such ignorant words." 

Of course I am viewed as the bad son that could not just keep his mouth shut and agree with my mothers stupid fuckin comment. 

And when my next cycle occurs, I am sure she will remind me of today's lunch conversation with "I told you so, it was a self fulfilling prophecy."

I hate ignorant people, family or not! >:(

-Gregg in Las Vegas

I reckon you should skip this year's episode out of spite. That'll learn her.

AussieBrian wrote on Feb 10^th, 2013 at 8:11pm:

I reckon you should skip this year's episode out of spite. That'll learn her.

I was THINKING the same thing :-X

-Gregg in Las Vegas

There are several medical papers and abstracts that state very plainly that CH is one of the conditions that has never shown any evidence, anecdotal or otherwise, to have been affected in anyway by placebo or nocebo.

Want I should dig out a few for your Mom?  :-?

cat

Oh man Gregg, I am so sorry!  Nothing is the worse than ignorant family members, especially immediate family members.  :(

Has your Mom known that you have had CH for the last 32 yrs., or is this a newer revelation for her ?  If she's known all along, there is no excuse for her comment.  If it's new to her, then maybe it would behoove you to educate her and forgive her ignorance.  Just a thought Gregg.

@Cat, yes please!  I would very much appreciate a reputable source/third party to shed some light on the ignorant sitting in the dark.

@Melissa, thank you for your empathy.  That is really what I feel needed right now and knew this would be the place where others like me would understand and comfort me.  I feel emotionally horrible about this conversation.

@Linda, She is well aware of what I have gone through since her little boy at age 11 began suffering for no apparent reason/many misdiagnosis.  I moved away from her home at age 13 (due to behavioral issues attributed from CH's) and have not reside with her since.  However, I have kept in contact weekly my entire life, attempted to educate her verbally by telephone, gave her this website address as reference, etc; yet she obviously has chosen to form her own opinion that this is "all in the head."

I am so very emotionally torn by her ignorant comment of our argumentative conversation.  Does she really believe she knows more than me about CH's?  Ugggh! >:( :'(

-Gregg in Las Vegas

Quote:

Does she really believe she knows more than me about CH's?

No, you're her son and she wants you not to be in pain. Her "solution" is the simplest one to understand (in her own head, that is).

Rule#1..Mom is always right...
Rule#2..If Mom is wrong refer to rule#1
The self fulfilling part was laid in front of you by her statment. Its a woman thing. Gotta love her.

When it comes down to the essence of it, try to be more compassionate toward her ignorance than she is toward your condition. Take the high road while trying to educate her. In other words, do what you can to nurture the relationship if you can - we only get one mom.

Very well said Brew. ;) 
Unfortunately with my mom, hearsay is third party diarrhea of the mouth; regardless of the source.  So I can't wait to see supporting medical literature/evidence provided if anybody here has something credible to share.  That is the only way my mom and/or other typical ignorant people are effectively taught.

-Gregg in Las Vegas

Hey Gregg, a nice deep breath and take the time to re-read "Dopiest responses to CH" on the Specific board.

Whenever that emotional avalanche threatens, I get great re-assurance from that one thread knowing there's a big bad world out there, but I'm forever safe within my little family here at ch.com.

Full steam ahead and damn the torpedoes!

Got beer?

Gregg, I get your frustration. I have this person I see regularly who is certain I can chase away CHs simply by having a positive outlook on life. But she's also a big fan of Norman Vincent Peale. Like the others who have posted, I don't think your mom will either accept or be thankful of your attempt to "educate" her. If you still feel you must try, then remember...she's your mom, and for all her faults, she probably does love you. God bless. lance

It's taken us a long time to get most of our doctors and other medical types and places to sorta understand that this is different. It's really not entirely possible but her looking around here can't hurt.

Norman Vincent Peale... There's a blast from the past...

Charlie

She's your mother. Just let it go.

Unfortunately, mother's can be, and are, wrong sometimes.  Of course I much prefer the times I was wrong and things turned out right, but when I was wrong about Alex (my oldest) believing he could not have CH, that it was only migraines, it ended with the high school calling us in because they'd had to do a suicide intervention.  A mothers denial of her child's nightmare pain isn't always something that one can 'just let go'.

Cat

Quote:

A mothers denial of her child's nightmare pain isn't always something that one can 'just let go'.

I dont think we are talking about a child here.

My mother asked me just the other day if I was still having my migraines. I said, No mom....it has been a few years since I had my last one. She said, thats nice son. I just smiled.

Quote:

My mother asked me just the other day if I was still having my migraines. I said, No mom....it has been a few years since I had my last one. She said, thats nice son. I just smiled.

In my world that is the perfect response to mom's question.

What's great about this thread is that we are all much better off than we thought, as nobody can provide any medical neurological literature whatsoever to prove that our CH disease is not psychological.  So maybe my mom is right and we can all just wish it away. ;)

-Gregg in Las Vegas

It's all in our heads  :D  Still searching - everything I'm finding online is in regards to meds, not the condition itself *sigh*

Hey Gregg, I know this string is 'self fulfilling prophecy' and I think 'power of suggestion' plays well with it.

You remember when we last met for coffee? While on the subject of CH you ask me if I get the cluster bump or neck pain during/after an attack. I told you no I'd never experienced it in all of my 35+ years of CH.

Well, about 2 weeks later I started getting the neck pain along with the attacks. And every attack since.

Thanks for the suggestion. I really needed another place to put the ice pack. I owe you one.  ;)

Sorry BobG,
Maybe I should've asked you if your home in St. George was built on an old gold or silver mine. 

Off to the SportsBook with everything I own...
-Gregg in Las Vegas

AussieBrian wrote on Feb 10^th, 2013 at 8:11pm:

I reckon you should skip this year's episode out of spite. That'll learn her.

This answer made me spit my tea all over my screen!
I think it's really the way to go!