So you've been dealing w chronic cluster migraines since yr 11,,,, yr now 39,lost three jobs(the only ones you've had) and now have another medical issue. My question is why the fuck am I staying alive fr other people,, if I kill myself I'm being selfish????? isn't everyone else being selfish wanting me alive?theyve seen me fr YEARS crying out fr death,,,, I'm sick of meds and sick of everything,, I just wanna b w my dad

Very glad you're here!

By coming here you have a very good chance of starting to LIVE for yourself.

All here are either sufferers, past sufferers, or supporters of sufferers.

We truly know the pain of CH.  The very real  FEAR of the next one . . . when will it come? . . how long will it last? . . . how bad will it be?  We've been there . . . we are there . .  . but there is truly GOOD NEWS re your CH.

Besides the many preventives (some of which you've probably taken, and 02 (if used with the right flow rate and mask most can abort attacks in minutes if used early-on in the attack)  The VERY best news  is the D3 regimen which is having success rates of 80% . . and it's all over-the-counter supplements and good for you even if you don't suffer from CH.

I came here 2/02, having 6-8 attacks. sometimes 3-5 at night, most 20-45 min and the occasional 1-1 1/2 or 2hr+ horror.

I've now been PAIN FREE for 19 months using the D3 regimen.  All of my former triggers (alcohol, exhaust fumes, solvents) have no effect anymore . . .  I can have a beer or brandy or wine and know that the beast isn't going to show up in the next ten minutes (or less) and stab me in the eye and crush the right side of my head.

Please DON'T take any drastic measures tonight . . . read . . . and read some more . . . we do understand and it would be a tragedy to give up when there finally could be a real chance of getting this beast off your back for good.

PLEASE respond

  Be Safe

     Richard

Fire theft wrote on Aug 2^nd, 2013 at 10:55pm:

So you've been dealing w chronic cluster migraines since yr 11,,,, yr now 39,lost three jobs(the only ones you've had) and now have another medical issue. My question is why the fuck am I staying alive fr other people,, if I kill myself I'm being selfish????? isn't everyone else being selfish wanting me alive?theyve seen me fr YEARS crying out fr death,,,, I'm sick of meds and sick of everything,, I just wanna b w my dad

I've been suffering from this living nightmare since I was 11 also.  I just turned 45 two weeks ago.  Trust me when I write to you that i've lost more than 3 jobs because of these headaches, also tired of being a test rat over the years with meds and my favorite person in the world (my Dad) passed away 15 years ago when I was only 30.  So I can truly relate to what you are putting into words.  However, life goes on!  There are many people on this board that can share a similar story relating to your feelings.  You are truly not alone!  We understand your physical, emotional, spiritual and financial pain that this tragic disease has caused us.  What are your hobbies?  What is your favorite food?  Where have you always wanted to travel to?  Where do you live?  Tell us more about you?

-Gregg in Las Vegas

Hi and welcome

We all know just what it is like to have CH and the impact it can have on our lives and those around us since we either have CH or we support someone with it.

A few days ago a friend of mine took his own life and he isn't the only person I've known who has done this. So I've a pretty good understanding of things that I wish I never had.

You have found somewhere where we have the collective experience of people having seen probably thousands of doctors, tried countless different medications and we have learnt from it. The result is that people can help with suggestions on what to try that might just help.

Various people have mentioned vitamin D3. This has resulted in about 80% of people who have tried it going pain free. This has been a mixture of those who are episodic and chronic, including myself for going towards two years.

We've good information on using oxygen (START PRINTPAGEMultimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to or END PRINTPAGE). This enables me to kill off my CHs in about 5 minutes, which is a game changer.

Read other posts in this forum and you'll see how people have come here and things have improved, often drastically so.

Tell us what you've tried for your CH, which preventives, which abortives and we'll try to suggest somethings that might just make a difference.

Keep talking to us. Ask us anything and we'll try to answer them.

There's so many of us have been where you are now, mate, and it's a horrible, horrible place. I hated every moment of it.

The good news is that there's hope.

Certainly there's no cure but there is hope, and we really do understand.

We also care.

You're in a dark, lonely place right now, that most of us know all too well. 53 years old, CH since my late teens. Jump into this forum with both feet and please allow us the chance to help you. WE don't have a cure yet, but I suspect we have a number of tricks you haven't heard yet to beat beasty back into submission. Sending all the positive energy I have your way.


Joe

We can fix this promise.

          Potter

My heart aches. That place is all too familiar. CH are bad enough without depression and suicide lurking in the background. Please don't let them get you. We do have some tricks up our sleeves to help, not all of them work for everyone, but there are enough different treatments that most can get at least some relief. Batch has a vitamin D3 regimen that leaves 60 per cent pain free and another 20 per cent with some relief. Some of the medications are sickening and ineffective, some are very helpful. I've gotten pretty good relief from a moderately low dose of verapamil. Others need more before they see relief. Please don't give up. As you can see by the above posts, there are a lot of people who care.

Pain free wishes,

Rep

Hey Fire theft, stay around and let us see if there is anything we can do to help. I had clusters for 20 years before I found this site, and I learned here about everything my doctors had been doing for those 20 years was not effective for clusters. Not sure if the people at this site saved my life, but they probably did.

All I do now is take some vitamins and minerals, and they're gone.

It works. For 81% of us that have tried (so far - and that number is climbing). But you have to give it a chance.

START PRINTPAGEMultimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to or END PRINTPAGE

Fire theft

  Saw that you were online today.  Hope you accessed the replies to your first post.

  We're all hoping you will put the final option aside and let us help you get on with your life without the degree of pain you (and we) have suffered.

  I also have other medical issues, one which will require a surgery at the end of this month and will be required to stop the D3 regimen two weeks prior . . . and let the beast back in my life for a while . . . not looking forward to it, but 02 works very well for me to abort the attacks or at least keep them shorter and avoid too many "dances" with the beast.

  We're here for you.  Please let us help.

    Be Safe,  PFDANs

       Richard

Hi Fire Theft,
We haven't met.

You sound exhausted and depressed at the moment. In your case, this constitutes a medical emergency, and you should probably talk with a physician to get something 'calming' as soon as possible.

Here's something for the future:
Google "'Suicide disease' man is pain-free after 20 years of suffering" and check out the story on the BBC website.

It sounds like this guy could be you, because this therapy has also helped lots of CH sufferers.

It's known as a sphenopalatine ganglion block, and seems pretty straightforward. There's even youtube videos of it being done.

Have you ever wondered how far someone can shove something up your nose?

Have a guess - a good guess, and then watch the video.

And stick around this site - there's plenty of people who want to know more about you and where you're at.

Fire theft, just want you to know that we all know how you're feeling and that you have a family here. We don't want you to give up.  Keep fighting and read here what has been working for other CH warriors.  Hang in there!  I know that rope is slippery, but this site is the knot at the end of it.

xo

Please Please remember that this condition is not fatal unless we choose to make it that way.

We suffer through a form of pain that is unimaginable to most, that we would not wish upon our worst of enemies...

We therefore can find empathy for others in pain.

You are good to seek an answer. It will come if you allow it.


Peace Of Mind

I feel your pain I always wondered what I did to deserve this horrible condition.  People just dont understand how horribly painful have these beastly things can be.  I also haven't been able to work for like 8 years cause I keep getting headaches.  Then when I think I'm ready they come back.  Everyone in my life is passing me by.  I'm 27 years old and ain't got shit to show for it.  I got a roof over my head and parents that are awesome and a couple great friends that understand so I guess things could be a lot worse.

I'll echo what the others have said. Now that you are here, your life with cluster Part II begins and Part I ends. I really think Part II can be much better for you and those around you.

There are better remedies than the one you speak of. Some will work and that should be tried. There are others that haven't been invented yet, but they will. You're obviously very brave. Stay the course and experiment with the remedies.

If you need help with CH's, it is here. But you have to interact.

We've been there. We know the dark desperation - and we have learned how to find the sunshine! Ask. Interact.

Post more info and you will flooded with support that can help you see the answers.

Hi Fire theft,
I've been reading your 1st and only post, also replies from
members. I'm not a doctor, but i guess the reason you hav'nt replied is because your still in that dark place called
"Depression" like CHs with the right help from your doctor
you can get back on track.You will then be in a different
frame of mind to fight the [smiley=evil.gif] and see for your
self that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Hoppy.

Hey Fire Theft you still around you gotta get back on here and let us know whats up.  I don't like seeing you only got 1 post and this is the one.  If your there please reply let everyone know your okay

Geez, I hate reading something like this, but completely understand it.  At 2:00 in the morning, EVERY morning, that pain grips you and nothing stops it. It's exhausting. Your family, friends, coworkers can't understand why you can't get your shit together. CH can take a perfectly sane individual and push them to the brink of insanity. Pills, injections, tests, doctors, all of it can make anyone want to throw their hands up. Not everyone can be so optimistic and have such great medical care. It's hard to be hopeful and live in the armpit of America!

Jammie73 wrote on Aug 16^th, 2013 at 10:26pm:

It's hard to be hopeful and live in the armpit of America!

So where do you live...Newark, Detroit or D.C.?

-Gregg in Las Vegas

Hey mate. Sincerely hope you return to talk about your CH. There are ways to manage it!
I may not have lost as much as you have to CH but I was also in the same boat as you at times considering the easy way out. Really hope you write back soon!