....I used to smugly think I really understood that...and was willing to accept the losses, the ch, the neck fusion, and the cancer that go along with "shit happens"..............I aint so smug anymore...sometimes I just can't comprehend.....

Today...totally innocently surfing the web about the semi-famous son of an acquaintance, I ran across an announcement that caused me to burst into tears and disbelief. It was about Dr Stephen Petersdorf, my original treating oncologist at SCCA. Hardly dynamic...BUT, with the calm demeanor and unhurried efficiency that someone contemplating their mortality REALLY needs....it helped get me through a really tough time.

Top 5 hematology onco in Seattle (the pre-eminent cancer treatment center of the entire NW)...NATIONALLY recognized researcher...probably internationally too. Later medical director of a biotech firm in Seattle at the fore-front of cancer research. You could say....among THE best.... anywhere......I was lucky.

On July 13.....he died...at home......of, yup.....cancer. I know not what kind. This evil damn disease surely does not discriminate.....he was younger than me...with access to the best treatment options available...it didn't help. I mourn for his family, friends, and colleagues.... and for those whose lives his absence will surely affect.......

Nope...it aint fair..........................

Jon

Nope. It ain't fair.

AussieBrian wrote on Aug 7^th, 2014 at 3:52am:

Nope. It ain't fair.

Not for him, his family and all the people he could have treated with this skills and experience.

Love you, brother Jon!  [smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=heart.gif]

:-[

AussieBrian wrote on Aug 7^th, 2014 at 3:52am:

Nope. It ain't fair.

If it is...it is by accident.

Jon,

Coming from anyone else, this story would be sad - but it has so much more impact coming from you. I'm a "word guy" but I simply have no means to convey how your posts hit me - in my gut, deep inside.

We are in the same age bracket, and thus far I have dodged the bullets that you have ever so gracefully absorbed - then given the rest of us a lesson in how to deal with it.

I'm not trying to make your plight pretty because I know it isn't. BUT, I DO want to acknowledge that you continue to provide serious inspiration to so many of us.

Marc

Jon & all who posted above . . . all of whom have been here and known me.

  I haven't been on the board for some time . . . largely due to grief.   I think my last post was a slam at GEEMAN 101 for insinuating that this place wasn't for real . . .and I lost my cool.

  Prior to that, within a month, we had a mom with a 16 yr old son, evidently with CH and NOT properly treated.  As usual, this family furnished all the info/support we could and I had several PMs back and forth with her . . .  then no reply . . .I could only assume the worst (I neglected to advise to lock up any firearms in the house), and then the post of "Suicide" (the one and only post) to which several of us replied but, as far as I know there was no response. 

  I too am a cancer survivor (ten years now), had my numbers checked yesterday and still good, though I've been plagued with low stamina  since the chemo following surgery. 

  Recently saw a stage show featuring a wonderful actress/singer and her husband (actor, writer,  producer) . . .  Carol Ponder and her husband Robert Kieffer who performed a show "Ponder Anew" about the memoir (of the same title) of Carol's dad and his experience in WWII flying P-47s in Europe, sponsored by military organisations and followed by comments/observations from audience members of any wars . . . meant to be cathartic for all.   Robert has also been fighting cancer for many years and unfortunately has come back . . . this time for the last time . . . no more treatment options .  .  . but they will perform til no longer possible.  I was fortunate to work with Carol on stage in the late 80's.

  The last two years have seen the passing of my father-in-law from cancer.  He lived with us the last two years and we went the hospice route, brain cancer, fortunately passed painlessly in his sleep.  Our greatest fear was that his end would be similar to a 24/7 CH.  Nine years in the Navy WWII in LST at Okinawa and several other landings, then 23 years Air Force Intelligence, two tours Vietnam and postings all over the world.  Wonderful man in all respects.   Five months before his death at 86, was walking five miles a day and doing pull-ups on our maple trees.

  Your post caught my eye because I am sitting here looking at my sweet 150-160lb solid white irish wolfhound we've had for 14 yrs (vet guessed his age at two-three when we got him (shelter dog) who I'm going to have to put down tomorrow (hips gone,  needs help to get up).  My best friend is going to pull the trigger . .. . I don't think my heart could take it.

  Grief is part of life and "Life is not fair".

  Apologies for the sad tale.   I promise to try and get back to the board and help where I can.  I still spread the word about CH at every opportunity and have sent via pharmacists at two different druggists CH sufferers this way . . . hope they made it.

  Have missed you all,

    Be Safe,   PFDANs

       Richard

 

Jon, I'm so sorry, my friend.  It seems to hurt so much worse when it is someone who has made an impact on our own lives, and especially someone in his position who is struck down by that which he has worked so incessantly against. 

His life has had a purpose and was not worthless.  Your posting is proof of that.  The fact you are still with us bears testimony to his work.  I'm so glad you are still here, and I grieve with you for his passing.  His family will be in my prayers along with you.

Jerry

Richard!...so good to hear from you again...been missing you brother. I've lost my cool myself...more times than I care to remember...unless they kick us out out I'm guessing we get forgiven.....

My condolences for the loss of your Father in Law...I just met a 94 yr old  WWII vet myself (not many left) on my Meals on Wheels route...neat guy. And of course your sweet hound...have known many an animal myself that took a chunk of my heart when they left...it's a steep price...but worth it many times over....

Best

Jon

Marc wrote on Aug 8^th, 2014 at 8:31pm:

Jon, Coming from anyone else, this story would be sad - but it has so much more impact coming from you. I'm a "word guy" but I simply have no means to convey how your posts hit me - in my gut, deep inside. We are in the same age bracket, and thus far I have dodged the bullets that you have ever so gracefully absorbed - then given the rest of us a lesson in how to deal with it. I'm not trying to make your plight pretty because I know it isn't. BUT, I DO want to acknowledge that you continue to provide serious inspiration to so many of us. Marc

Marc....WOW!....you have rendered me speechless once again....you ARE indeed a "word guy".  To stop me verbally is not hard...I usually don't say much...to stop my written word...that's somethin'. I regret that I did not reply previously....started many times but could not say it how I meant it....this a weak try.

Back before all the personal health "troubles" started.... I experienced the loss of several family members....and was directly involved with end of life care for both. Tough duty...but an honor and a privilege....wouldn't have it any other way. They both taught me that dignity and grace...at the end...as in life....is priceless. I gathered that up knowing someday I would need to use it...that it came so soon was a surprise...but then...that's life!

When the troubles came...it was apparent right from the start this was going to be a tough battle and I would NEED HELP. First...I had to do my part...positive attitude...never give up....life is FUNNEE...so why not find the humor. Then...share the need with friends, colleagues, and FAMILY and hope for the best. Rather surprising to tell the truth...the reaction was overwhelming....from ALL the above...it's the reason I am alive today!!! People want to help, want to show love, want to show care, want you to know what you mean to them.....that it took an illness or two for ME to know that is a shame...MY shame....

Anyway...I suppose I will figure how to say this better someday...but for now, know that I am humbled and honored at your fine words and sentiments...and if I can inspire anybody to take just one more step...it will all be worthwhile. Giving up just.....aint....no....fun.......

Best

Jon

Callico wrote on Aug 9^th, 2014 at 4:10am:

Jon, I'm so sorry, my friend.  It seems to hurt so much worse when it is someone who has made an impact on our own lives, and especially someone in his position who is struck down by that which he has worked so incessantly against.  His life has had a purpose and was not worthless.  Your posting is proof of that.  The fact you are still with us bears testimony to his work.  I'm so glad you are still here, and I grieve with you for his passing.  His family will be in my prayers along with you. Jerry

Jer'...as usual you read me like a book (a comic book) 8-).

I post these obits about the people I loved or who have affected my life so significantly not to make you all sad but to reaffirm the worthiness of their lives. Sometimes I'm a little heavy handed.

I much prefer a celebration of life to a funeral...ones an end...the other is just a beginning.

"Those that are remembered are never truly gone"

Best

Jon