for the wonderful gentleman for whom I have been caregiver since September 25th.  I am honored to have had the pleasure of making his last few months just a little easier.

My basic duties were to plan and cook his meals, monitor his blook pressure and glucose levels, drive him to appointments, barber, help with shower plus other things.

He was admitted to Venice Hospital in February, and from there he went to a rehab/nursing home and the family asked me to be their eyes and ears by spending my days there with him, helping him eat, and monitoring his care.  

Plenty went wrong and I did make a lot of noise.....rough treatment, neglect and more.

At 6:15 yesterday morning, he was admitted, from the nursing home, back to the hospital with a blood sugar of 34, dehydrated and with an extremely high white blood cell count (from a urinary tract infection). I didn't spend weekends with him.

Today the doc at the hospital spelled it out for the family........first asking what their goal was for him.  Did they want to try once again to bring him back or did they think it was finally time to let him go.  We (his son and two daughters) had a long and emotional discussion and decided that since he couldn't eat or drink (comatose) and he didn't want a feeding tube (he's a DNR) with many other complications such as diabetes and a foot wound that was necratising and couldn't be operated on plus a few other things.......that it was time to let him go. He no longer had any quality of life and would be suffering now.

People say "when it's your time, you will go".  Not always so.  Many times the patient is ready but the family won't let them go.  It's such a tough decision, but we have to consider if we are being a little selfish and trying to hang onto them just a little longer.  We really need to ask if they will be ahead, the same or a little worse than when this last bad spell started.  God help those who have to make these decisions.

Hospice has been called and we are waiting for them to arrive.

Sleep well Bob.  You've put up a long and good fight.

Hoping I have as much class as you when it comes time for me to make decisions like that. You and he will be in my families prayer chain. [smiley=heart.gif]

Guiseppi

The time comes, doesn't it?

I only hope that I'm allowed as dignified and timely an end one day.

Well done.

Best wishes,

George

I'm sorry, Donna... :'(
This is hard no matter what the circumstances.
Keeping you all in our thoughts and prayers.

Big Hugs
Jackie

My mother died two years ago, June 20th. The days recently feel like we are living them all over again. She was ready, my sisters were ready but Dad was holding on. The morning he finally let go, he kissed her good bye and she passed that night. I know she was waiting for his bessings and the medical intervention to stop. I think it's harder for those left behind sometimes.

Thank you for being there for your patient Donna. I have such good memeories of those special nurses who helped us cope.

Charlotte

Lots of class and compassion really and I hope I could do it too if necessary.

Charlie

Wow Donna you are a true true true GREAT daughter and friend!
If there was some way to teach what come so natural to you you would never rest. So many could use your gift.
Thank you for sharing and please hold peace within your heart.

Mike

You're a special lady, Donna.  

You're right.  Sometimes it is pure selfishness on our parts that keep us hanging on when our loved ones would rather let go.  We need to have that talk with our families and let them know our wishes in cases like this.

My wife and I have a living will that lays out our wishes.  We have also explained our wishes to our kids and our families.  I know it doesn't make losing a loved one any easier, but hopefully it will make the decision to let go a little easier.

Oh Donna,  your post brought me to tears.  It is so hard to let someone go.  It is the ones left here that suffer.

My Dad had a stroke 5 years ago.  My Mom had been chronically ill for much of the time I can remember.  When she died, my father went down quickly.  He was unable to eat or pass urine on his own.  He chose to discontinue G-tube feedings.  My siblings and I could do nothing but honor his wishes.......... He's Dad... THE BOSS.    It was hard to watch him join my Mom 5 months and two weeks after she left us but that's what we did.  

I will be praying for you all that his time left here is peaceful and for strength for those of you left behind.

Jeannie

dear Donna, you know you are in my thoughts and prayers....

                      it' s always God's plan...

                                           :'( Rosy