CATS:

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm, as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees. Hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink one beer to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and immediately remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot and drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve the friggin' cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining room table. Find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop at furniture shop on way home to pick out new table.

15. Arrange for Humane Society to collect mutant cat. Call local pet shop to see if they have hamsters.



DOGS:

1. Wrap pill in bacon.

[smiley=crackup.gif],  ;D,  [smiley=crackup.gif],   ;D[smiley=bigcry.gif] ;D wonderful. andrew.

Okay THAT was funny! ;D ;D ;D

Guiseppi

Cracked me up.   ;D

Ellen and I had to give her cat, Fedora, some pred pills a few months ago for an infection, and we went through hell trying to get them down the cat's throat.  Basically, trying to force-feed the cat a pill was like being locked in a phone booth with a crazed badger.

So when El suggested that we simply put the pill in Fedora's food dish and see what happened, I was a bit skeptical--but anything was worth a try after suffering significant rippage.  It worked.  Kibble and pill, down the hatch.  

A major "duh" moment for me, and proof that I can, indeed, learn something from a teenager.

Thanks, Terry--very funny, and very much something I could identify with.   ;D

Best,

George

So true and very funny.   ;D

Easy stratagy to get a cat to take a pill.  Dropper 1-2 drops of water from a can of tuna on the pill before administration.  It's like some sort of magic potion.  They gobble it up.

That's why I have dogs! Much easier! ;)

Dogs are MUCH easier!

I've had to give lots of meds to all sorts of pets (including injections for a snake) and for the most part - cats are the hardest. I generally try to get either a powdered or liquid form that i can mix with food or ask for a transdermal or injectable med. Cats are really easy to give shots to.

A lot of people also swear by Pill Pockets, but i find that a lot of cats pick them apart and leave the pill behind.

If you do try the pilling route - here's some info on the importance of following the pill with water:

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:o, of course sylvan.  ;), but did you laugh?

Of course i laughed!  ;D

I always laugh when i read about anyone who expected a cat to cooperate with them!

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Terry, how true!!!!! We get these "pill pockets" from our vet. You place the pill inside this hollowed out treat which the kitties love, until they figure it out that is! :D

thanks for the laugh.