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Merry Christmas everyone!

For me, Christmas is about being with those whom I love. So even if I have a cluster today, it will still be an occasion to celebrate.

cyberone wrote on Dec 22^nd, 2008 at 5:16am:

thx and to you too...
thankfully i just finished a cluster a while ago so it will be merry....

but thinking of the TRUE meaning of xams makes me wonder
how so many ppl can still believe in any kind power that would inflict this on us....
but i think that a topic for a another thread....

i just wish everyone a good holiday and that the pain is ....well not to painful :)

Well, this just may be my odd background... I mean my family is a mix of just about everything, many different denominations and my Grandfather (who raised me) believes in God AND practicies Buddhisim. So...

I believe everything that happens is for a reason. Either you are teaching someone, or someone is teaching you. Either you are learning a lesson, or growing from each experience somehow.

I've found I usually don't have any 'why' for what is happening to me at the moment, until later on.

Here's the one example I think illustrates it best.

I had my appendix rupture on me in a very nasty manner. Normally they get it out through laproscopy now before it ruptures. Mine had been ruptured for over 36 hours when it was removed.

So I wound up with a rather large scar on my belly. Maybe 4 inches or more long.

Two months later, I was in a children's hospital, in pre-op, waiting to have a lumbar puncture. I was 17, and another 17 year old was in the room with me. She was there to have her gallbladder out. She'd never had surgery before, and was scared to death.

When they told her if they couldn't get it out laproscopically, they would have to cut her open and it'd leave a 4-inch long scar, she started sobbing.

I waited for the doctors to leave the room and asked my Mom if I could show her MY scar. She said I could ask if she wanted to see.

So I went over, explained that I'd had my appendix out two months before, they had to cut me open, and if she wanted, she could see my scar. We had all of the males leave the room and I showed it to her, she asked if she could touch it, and I said sure.

Well, this calmed her down a lot. Once she saw that it wasn't as horrible as it sounded, and obviously didn't hurt me that badly, she was okay.

After that happened, I felt like that was part of the reason I had something THAT painful happen to me. It may not have been easy, but at that point? I considered what had happened to me a blessing. Only because I could help someone else from it. I got more from it than she did, by being able to offer her comfort.

She did fine, they didn't have to go in laproscopically, and thanked me profusely afterwards.

So while I don't know why I'm having the cluster headaches right now, MAYBE, just maybe, one day I'll be able to help someone BECAUSE I had them.

Maybe one day it'll be something that will grant me comfort in knowing I was able to help someone else.

Or, maybe right now, me being here on this board, I'll find someone who I can help and make a difference for... With a lot of other chronic illnesses, I've been able to help someone due to the fact I was suffering from the same thing... That doesn't mean I don't have a lot of "Why me?" Moment's, or "Do you even exist? If you do, why are you letting me suffer? Haven't I suffered enough?" but, beyond them, I have hope...

Happy Holidays...

Mystina

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http://www.clusterheadaches.com/cgi-bin/yabb2/YaBB.pl Cluster Headache Help and Support >> Cluster Headache Specific >> Merry Christmas http://www.clusterheadaches.com/cgi-bin/yabb2/YaBB.pl?num=1229932836 Message started by MaxPayne on Dec 22^nd, 2008 at 3:00am