Hi Guys,
              I'm relatively new to the boards, but not to cluster headaches. I've been supporting  my fiancee for the last 10 years, he has suffered for 25 years. The last few years have been tough to say the least, he has been chronic and had little relief from preventatives or abortives as well as suffering from Raynauds, Restless legs syndrome and a still undiagnosed rare systemic infection. The Local hospital wont treat him for the cluster's as it is mainly staffed by resident's who have no knowledge and prefer to treat him like a drug addict. Our Gp has told us not to bother going to the hospital and tries to prescribe all the med's so I can care for him at home without medical intervention. Without being arrogant, I do a bloody good job! I'm his carer, his nurse, his supporter, his advocate, I'm constantly educating us and the GP, on top of that I'm his best friend and would do anything for him not to have to suffer! I'm also the provider as he has been unable to work for close to 2 years. We have no support from his family and as most of you would know, friends tend to have limited patience and understanding.

       We have two beautiful daughter's who are 6 and 8, they are my first priority and are wonderful children, our youngest started school this year and has had some difficulties settling in. She mentioned to her teacher that dad was sick and he had headaches, the teacher asked me about his condition, so thinking I was doing the right thing I took a copy of the " colleagues letter" in to her so she could be informed, but she has been very strange towards me and the girls ever since..  Both girls have had to have the last 2 weeks off school for chest infections. I took them to the doctor's and got antibiotics and a doctors certificate, I was going to drop the doctor's certificate off at the school when they returned on Monday, but I didn't get the chance. I have just received a phone call from The Department Of Children's Services, who had received a complaint that I'm a negligent parent due to the girls having the time off school and being put in an environment where one of the parent's was so ill. I was on the phone for 45 minutes explaining why the girls were absent, the medical status and condition suffered and that the allegations made are incorrect. It was the school principle who made the allegations without even investigating why the girls were absent! The DOCS representative said she was closing the case due to no evidence, how ever if any other complaints were lodged against us, then the girl's will be taken into care. I have never ever had anyone question my ability to raise or care for our girls, in fact I receive comments all the time from family, friends and random acquaintances, even strangers that the girls are very well behaved lovely children, my reply is always the same "I'm very lucky to have two such wonderful children". The reply from others is nearly always the same too, that "its not a matter of just having wonderful kids, it's clear that your doing a good job raising them".  I've spoken to my family and friend's about the allegations and they have all told me that they are totally untrue and will support me, however is necessary and that I'm doing a fantastic job as a mother. But I feel like my heart has been torn at, I'm devastated that anyone would make such horrible untrue allegations against me and jeopardise my children's future, our family's future!

          I'm doing my best as a Mother and a supporter, the girl's and Cory always come first. My ability and effort is always 100%, yes I get very tired, yes I get run down just like everyone else who has so much to deal with, but to get kicked whilst already on low reserves like this, has really hurt.
             
                       Regards Shell >:( :( :( >:(

Gotta love government nanny states who always know better than you AND are doing it "for the children."

Shell, that is just awful. I don't know how you should handle this but my guess is it's the teacher who caused this. God bless you.

Don

Thank You, I know there are a lot of children who require the advocacy of these types of protective services, that are legitimately being neglected. But to receive that call when there is no other reason than an uneducated prejudiced  interfering teacher being vindictive, is just heart breaking!

                                       Regards Shell

Simply unbelievable how that could happen, especially when you were taking care of your kids by doing everything you should do when they were ill.

As for them being taken into care if there is ever any second allegation even when there is no evidence of anything? If this was done to criminals where they were jailed with just a second allegation then there would be a major outcry, but it seems that it's standard practice to do to parents.

Just a little update, I went to see the doctor this arvo and explained what has transpired, he was disgusted and offered for himself and fellow doctor's of his practice to contact DOCS not on my behalf but as professionals who could offer them a true account of my parenting ability. He then started laughing to my surprise, when I asked what he found so funny he replied "well with all the stress you've had, you still continue to amaze me that you can cope as well as you do, You are an awesome mother and you are better informed than most medical professionals with Cory's condition. If the principle can lodge such a ridiculous complaint and get away with it without having any proof then I'd better look out, because he'll say I'm negligent because I spend to much time working trying to help people, I'd better let my wife know to expect a call."  He told me not to bother worrying about it and to go home and keep searching for a way to cure Cory! This made me smile as the reason I was going to see him in the first place was to get him on board with the clusterbuster alternatives so we had other options. Guess that one can last another week or two...  As I was leaving, all I was thinking was that without this forum educating and supporting me, my ability to cope with a lot of my responsibilities would diminish quite substantially, so to all of you who have offered me support, advice and information. I owe you guy's my sanity. Thank you for being here!!!

                             Regards Shell [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif]

Good attitude, Shell!
Keep those spirits up!!!

Shell,

An old Arab proverb that I have long forgotten the source of, but that I live by, says this, "The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on."  Next time you see the principal at least under your breath say "woof woof", and keep on moving with your head held high.  I guarantee you he/she had NEVER had to cope with that which you cope and cope well.  Sometimes those who are the smallest try to achieve a higher stature by trying to bring others below them.  This can only work if you let it.

Jerry

Edit to add:  Please give those kids a big hug from an adoptive American uncle. 

Shell I went through similar battles with my sons school a few principles and even an uneducated nurse over his migraines when he was young.  It's not a pleasant experience, but as you know already if you stick to your convictions and don't let them bully you or your children you'll be fine!

Keep the winning attitude you are doing fine and your fiancee is lucky to have you!

[smiley=hug.gif]

There's those of us who must endure this rotten condition, but it's our supporters who must suffer it.

AussieBrian wrote on Aug 26^th, 2010 at 8:31pm:

There's those of us who must endure this rotten condition, but it's our supporters who must suffer it.

Now that IS something quote worthy!  Nicely said Brian!