An Englishman is being shown around a Scottish hospital.

At the end of his visit, he is shown into a ward with a number
of patients who show no obvious signs of injury. He goes to examine
the first man he sees, and the man proclaims:

Fair fa' yer honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain e' the puddin' race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
painch tripe or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o' a grace
as lang's my arm.

The Englishman, somewhat taken aback, goes to the next patient,
and immediately the patient launches into:

Some hae meat, and canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat and we can eat,
And sae the Lord be thankit.

This continues with the next patient:

Wee sleekit cow'rin tim'rous beastie,
O what a panic's in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
wi' bickering brattle.
I wad be laith to run and chase thee,
wi' murdering prattle!"

"Well," the Englishman mutters to his Scottish
colleague, "I see you saved the psychiatric ward for
the last."

"Nay, nay," the Scottish doctor corrected him,
"this is the Serious Burns unit."

Mike, that is a good one.  However, I doubt many under the age of 35 will get it, at least in the States.  Our education is no longer what it once was.

Serious Burns indeed!

Jerry

For those needing more info about Burns, the most famous poet from Scotland - START PRINTPAGEMultimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to or END PRINTPAGE.

Thanks heaps for that, Mike, I loved it. Sent a copy to mum, taking full credit for myself of course, and this is her reply   -


"Hi Brian,

Thankyou for the Scottish poems.

In English class at school we were given these poems to learn and translate into English. Many Scottish children had difficulty with English, the same as Aboriginal children in the North have difficulty with English.

We used to play Lexicon at home and my Granny usually won because she used Scottish words and when Gran told her off and said that she was inventing those words Nanna would say that it was an old word that had now died out. She was a real devil my Nanna, you would have liked her.

Rabbi Burns had a reputation for being a bit of a ratbag. But Scotland adopted his poems because it gave the country an identity which had been destroyed over many years by the English. You should read Scottish history sometime. It is lovely reading these poems again.

Hasn't it rained. The garden likes it.

Love to you both. Mum"